Yesterday, 01:30 PM #1
LilyGrace // <![CDATA[//
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Nim’s Island
Posts: 1,927

Mod question about strikes

I just had a rather unsettling experience. I got a pm from a mod saying I got a strike and a link to a thread that was no longer around. Since I couldn’t follow the link, I asked for the thread title and which post of mine got the strike. She pm’d me back, saying yeah, can’t follow the link because it’s in the trash, here’s the title.
I gave my thanks and asked again for the post. Finally got that (and what the issue was), and a rude comment telling me ‘not to argue’ and ‘move on’.

Is this how strikes are handled? I have no problem with the strike, but the lack of communication on the mod’s part and the rudeness that accompanied the last was very offputting. Do I have a right to know what the strike is about or was I out of line in asking for the information? I really, really don’t want to deal with this mod again. Ever. If this is just protocol then it becomes a matter of whether or not this board is right for me.

I don’t think my pms were rude. They were asking for information, following a pattern of “thank you for informing me. May I have the thread title and post that led to the strike?”

Bow down to the power of the mods. We need a rolling eyes smilie.

  1. zosiasmama says:

    yes you have a right to ask and yes that is par for the course there. Ugh

  2. KAL says:

    If you aren’t a whiney all-sorts-of-crazy bizzzznatch then that board is not right for you.

  3. Kelolsen says:

    Let me guess, it was Wearing Taci, right. biggest bitch on DS.

  4. Me, Myself, and I says:

    Wearing Traci was a fucking bitch to me over my maternity photos. She claims that you couldn’t tell if I was wearing underwear in them or not. (Which I fucking was. White cotton bikini briefs.) I tried to ask her about it, but she got rude and hateful right away. I was threatened with a strike b/c I commented in my thread that I had to remove some photos.

  5. Me, Myself, and I says:

    Oh and my whole thread, all the photos, got deleted. This was the one that was so offensive :

  6. Another... says:

    #5 that blows. You can see more skin in the pics of that chick over in Miles thread than you can on yours!!

  7. werd says:

    omg #5 I remember that. And yes, she is a mega twat!

  8. Roxanna says:

    I just got a PM from a Mod telling me they have removed my custom title because it had the word ‘drama’ in it and because of all the stuff stirring around about the blog I post on & if I put anything up again about it I will get a strike

  9. nu says:

    Roxanna-are they stalking u??? Stupid!

    #5-Your picture is beautiful!

  10. ReallyNow says:

    I agree…Wearing Taci is a raggola!

  11. ReallyNow says:

    Wait…is the word drama against the law? Isn’t iot a free country? Are the mods at DS trying to police the internet?

  12. Messy says:

    Roxanna that is CRAZY! WTF??? Ugh…
    Yeah, I got a strike for the Toni thread. Oh well. It was funny while DS let it last. They are so power hungry that when all is said and done, they will be sorry that they chased off all their posters who actually have opinions of their own and make the conversations happen.
    Oh, BTW, 4 hours after I got the strike, a mod pm’ed me that I was being given a warning but not a strike, although I could get a strike… Ummm… Ok. WTFE.

  13. Roxanna says:

    Yhea I thought it was sort of strange….

    I mean I thought they didn’t ‘care’ about this blog are they that threaten by it?

    When I saw I had a PM from a MOD and it said ‘hey Mama’ I knew I was in trubs :eyeroll: I thought for sure Toni had forwarded my PM to them but I guess it was because I used the word drama

  14. werd says:

    that is messed up – how the hell can they nail you for stuff you post on A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SITE?! My god, are they going to start giving strikes to members who look at porn, too?! How about members who confess that they use disposibles at night?!?!?!

    What a bunch of control freaks… and to think, they aren’t even getting paid to stalk you, Rox!

  15. JustPeachy says:

    Roxanna I got banned for bitching about censorship in my title last year LOL. I would put it back up just to egg em on.

  16. Roxanna says:

    I honestly think that it is funny because I am not even that interesting unless they are following me on CDN too….which I might just be paranoid but I could see them having pawns over there too.

    I dont understand why there is so much powertripping I am honestly jealous they have so much extra time on their hands!

  17. Roxanna says:

    I honestly think they wanted to give me a strike from the toni thread but for some reason figured out another way to try to ‘scare me’ I dont know how I didn’t get a strike for the nutsonatasha thread.

  18. adensmama says:

    #5 I don’t believe you, I’m sure you weren’t wearing underwear and your crotch is just bright white (eyeroll).

    We did a “who has the best boobies” contest on another board that I used to be on, and someone got all offended so we had to take it down. I was effing pissed because there are tons of people who post half naked preggo pics or breastfeeding pics and they don’t get in trouble! I honestly don’t care if they do post stuff like that, but all we were doing was sharing cleavage pics…fully clothed. It was dumb.

  19. hillybean says:

    #16…that reminds me of an old thread on DS that Heather81 got nailed for. I believe it was in the pregnancy forum and the topic was how big your boobs have gotten since you’ve been pg (or something to the effect) Anyways, she got a heap of shit for posting a picture of herself. I saw the pic. She was FULLY clothed and it showed some cleavage. That’s it. She was basically told by a mod (not sure which one) that it bordered on pornography. Anyone else remember that one? I think the thread got a little more heated before it went poof. So to recap…don’t post any booby or cleavage pics on DS unless you have a child affixed to them!

  20. Bloggitybloggity says:


    I remember that. Freaking ridiculous.

  21. myra says:

    Why are bfing pics ok but cleavage isn’t? That’s dumb.

  22. adensmama says:

    If THAT’S pornography then why am I not getting paid???

  23. thewhiteninja says:

    all the mods are idiots, who else would willingly do that job?

  24. Messy says:

    #21 Me totally. I would be the bestest mod on DS! Yuppers! Mod Messy. It would be so much fun during the .2 seconds it would last! ROFL!

  25. Messy says:

    I think that those of us that post on this blog and are “out” as to who we are, are treated differently on DS. I think that our posts are scrutinized more, I think our PMs are read, and I think the rules of DS are bent to make it seem like we are always breaking them.

  26. fashionista says:

    can mods really read pms? thats fucked up.

  27. kitty says:

    Anyone else want to take some really risque photos of themselves nursing and post them?? My son has weaned so I can’t do it!

  28. myra says:

    Sorry, I *gasp* formula fed.

  29. Messy says:

    The only thing being breastfed in this house these days is a litter of pups. I don’t think anyone wants a pic of *that LOL!

  30. Darlene says:

    #5 your picture got pulled, but this got to stay? That’s ridiculous! You obviously had underwear on. You could definitely see it from the side.

  31. Darlene says:

    It’s been changed a little since I stumbled upon it before, but I noticed just now that photobucket has taken out some of her pics.

  32. hrm's mom says:

    ok I am all for whatever kind of birth you want but do you really need to share pictures of you in a kiddy pool giving birth. Sorry but I did not want my DD birth video taped or any pics taken. I only wanted DH and me (and like 5 hospital staff) in the room. In my thoughts DH had something way better to do then video tape it. Although he was super great about remembering to take pictures after DD had arrived. Also she does not look real happy in the photos. I could not stop smiling, even while they stitched me up a little. I understand she was tired but come on.

  33. myra says:

    Seriously? Your picture was not ok, but that is? And I won’t even start on why anyone would want share that much about and of themselves with strangers.

  34. myra says:

    Also, the part about her wanting to make a smoothie out of her placenta. I just threw up in my mouth.

  35. DSDM2 says:

    32, I did that, lol. It isn’t that weird 😉

  36. žába says:

    That just sounds so yuck! to me, but to each their own.

  37. tntdynomite says:

    Whoa! A placenta smoothie, I wonder what kind of enhancement you would add to that? Yuck!

  38. Bloggitybloggity says:

    I see nothing wrong with the water-birth thread. To each their own. Perhaps she wanted to share the pictures in hopes that it might inspire someone else and give them confidence about their own impending deliveries.

    She clearly said she was tired. I was tired too (from hemorrhaging) and I barely had the strength to smile. I’m sure I looked miserable due to the sheer exhaustion, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t overjoyed with my brand-new baby.

    The placenta-smoothie? If I had the guts, I totally wouldn’t mind it. Heck, if I’d had the money, I would have had my placenta dried and made into pills. As it was, I did none of those things. Perhaps if I have another baby I might find a way to involve the placenta… it’s not as horrible as it sounds.

    At any rate, I do agree. I don’t understand why breasts are okay in nursing pics… but cleavage is flagged as inappropriate. I don’t understand why it’s okay to post your water-birth pics, but preggo shots are removed because a mod was unable to distinguish a white panties from bare flesh.

    Just plain ridiculous.

  39. myra says:

    Sorry, blog, guess I’m just a private person. I have no opinion of how she gave birth. I just think some things aren’t for strangers. And I thinks it’s BS that pics like that are allowed but not her pic.

    And let’s just be real. Healing powers aside, a placenta smoothie just sounds…ick.

  40. adensmama says:

    I’m sorry, I don’t think the waterbirth thread is appropriate…I just would never post pictures of myself naked anywhere on the internet, childbirth or not! I have some pictures of my son’s birth but they are extremely personal and I don’t think total strangers need to see them.

    If she had posted pics of herself swimming naked in a pool with no baby involved, with her nipples hangin out all over the place there would have been a huge uproar and she probably would have been banned or something.

    Oh, and I encapsulated my placenta. I definitely don’t think I could stomach a placenta smoothie but whatever floats your boat I guess!

  41. diudiaole says:

    I wanted to consume the placenta in some way this time around due to the really bad ppd I had with my first pregnancy — but i had to transfer to the hospital and they did not honor my request to save it for me.

    I also don’t see how cleavage is offensive, but full breasts and nipples during childbirth are not… very weird.

  42. Biggirlpanties says:

    the “unassisted” part is what really gets me. Honestly.. if you decide to give birth at home with no midwife and decide not to have TRAINED medical prenatal care then please don’t show up in my ER expecting us to fix something you knowingly got yourself into. get yourself a midwife or someone who has training.

  43. DSDM2 says:

    #40, I am torn on unassisted care personally… I mean, what if you are trained yourself, or your DH? Or you know enough that you are comfortable. Even planned assisted homebirths end up in the hospital.

  44. Darlene says:

    Exactly #38. I was more offended by the water birth pictures than I was of the pregnant picture that was removed. It is one thing to take the pictures for private and another to post them on a completely public forum. I am happy that she had the birth she wanted. That’s great….I just don’t need to see the action shots.

  45. Biggirlpanties says:

    If you have someone other than yourself that is trained, then I am fine with it. You being trained yourself doesn’t help so much. You can explain to someone what to do but if they aren’t familiar with things.. it doesn’t help. Assisted homebirths do often end up in the hospital but at least the person assisting knows emergency precautions. For example we had a patient show up in the ER with a prolapsed cord, in L&D this patient would have been rushed into an emergency C-section with a nurse or MD hand in the vagina preventing compression of the cord. How is a husband going to drive you to the hospital and hold the cord, or call and ambulance and hold the cord, or would you even know that’s what you should do and how to do it? That baby passed away prior to delivery. There are lots of midwives who are extremely hands off and are there to help you only in case of emergency. This is just my opinion of course.

  46. punktart says:

    #40: By that sentiment, I guess I shouldn’t show up in *your* ER when someone t-bones me at an intersection or rear-ends me on the highway, eh? I mean I got in the car knowing full well that I could get in an accident, right?

    I guess I should have a “TRAINED medical” person follow me around everywhere I go….

  47. Biggirlpanties says:

    #44 it’s not that at all. You can’t help an accident. It’s the intention to do it without medical help, then insisting that the doctors get you of the situation you intentionally put yourself in knowing the possible complications. The medical emergencies are definitely the small portion of unassisted home deliveries but they exist nonetheless. I’m not saying I’m right, just that it’s my opinion.

  48. adensmama says:

    #43 that is so sad….

    I was going to have a home waterbirth with a midwife, but because of my BP I ended up in the hospital anyways. I wasn’t happy about it, but I still ended up doing it naturally. Anyways, I have no problem at all with home births, but I would never do it unassisted. Midwives are very capable and they know exactly what to do in the case of a true emergency. When I asked my midwife about the prolapsed cord thing while I was pregnant, she said that we would call 911 and head off to the hospital and someone’s hand would be up my vajayjay the whole time holding the pressure off the baby’s head. But if I was alone I wouldn’t know what the heck to look for, and neither would my DH!

  49. punktart says:

    #45, I’m sorry, but I really see no difference. Everyone knows that when you get into a car, there is a chance you will get into an accident. You could be a professionally trained race-car driver, but when something happens that is out of your control, it just happens… No, it won’t happen every single time, but it COULD! So by your sentiments, I should travel with a barrage of medical professionals on the off-chance that someone should side-swipe me.

    Birth happens everyday, and most times everything goes as it should, but on the off-chance something does go wrong, there are medical professionals that are there to help. But just as everyone doesn’t have an ambulance follow them around on the assumption that something *might* go wrong, I don’t feel everyone needs to have a medical professional present at a birth just because something *might* go pear-shaped.

  50. myra says:

    #47 then think of a midwife as a safety belt or airbag.

  51. me says:

    46- If you are going to have a UC, you should have the knowledge about these things, not jut “fly by the seat of your pants” anyway.

  52. punktart says:

    My LO just got up from a nap, so this is my short reply, I’ll try to remember to come back later and explain more if needed.

    I do not equate a midwife to an airbag/seat belt. A midwife would be more of the ambulance in the car crash scenario, she’s there to identify a bigger problem, put a band-aid on it and take you to the hospital. I will agree that a midwife on-call during a UC would be a smart move. To me, knowledge, education, research and intuition would be the air bag/seat belt.

  53. Aj says:

    People do give birth everyday…but YOU don’t give birth everyday, it’s totally different.

  54. myra says:

    Well, I don’t equate driving a car and giving birth. UC is not for me. Sorry. You can preach on, but I won’t be converted.

  55. me says:

    You don’t have to be converted. If it isn’t your choice, fine but it isn’t your (o anyone else’s ) business if someone else does it.

  56. punktart says:

    Gracious, I would NEVER try to convert someone to having a UC when they don’t want to. It is a very personal and serious decision. If you are happy to have a hospital birth or even a homebirth w/ midwife, then I think that’s wonderful.

    I was just trying to make a point to Biggirlpanties that just because someone decides to UC, that they still deserve the same respect and treatment as someone who comes into the ER after an automobile accident.

  57. Bloggitybloggity says:

    Who gives a shit what any of YOU want? Why should that dictate anyone else’s birth plans? If you don’t like it, don’t look! This is exactly why DS is over-policed and people get flagged for dumb shit… prudish folk refuse to learn that you don’t have to open every thread or look at every picture. If some of you are such private people, then I suppose that semi-nude pictures of pregnant women ALSO offend you. At least be honest about it and don’t reserve your comments for some women who isn’t here to defend herself.

    And seriously? “Don’t show up at the ER” WTF? It’s unfortunate that they don’t give you an open mind or teach compassion in nursing school. BigGirlPanties… do you even have children yet?

    I’ve had one hospital birth and one birth-center birth. I would choose to give birth with my midwife in a relaxed setting over an OB in a hospital ANY day.

  58. myra says:

    Wow, chillax. Doesn’t take much to get you all riled up. You’re being just as close-minded as you think everyone else is. I don’t care who has what kind of birth, but I’m allowed to say that what kind I won’t have. Saying I don’t want one is not dictating that no one can have one.

    As for being prudish…if not wanting to show the good old www something that personal makes me a prude, then yes, I am one. BFD. My original point was, those were far more likely to offend than the other poster’s picture

    Seriously, not everything is a fight.

  59. theinvisible says:

    You know how when you live or work with other women everyone ends up on the same cycle and gets their period at the same time? Could it happen virtually?
    I am thinking this is the case with the mama boards I frequent and maybe, just maybe, EVERYONE is on the rag this week.

  60. Bloggitybloggity says:

    LOLZ… so not riled up 😀

    Anyway, there is nothing wrong with saying that YOU wouldn’t want to do something or post something on the interwebs. But inferring that someone else is wrong for doing so (because you clearly would choose not to) is just not right. That’s simply MY opinion, and I’m sharing it… as we’re all entitled to do.

    Mainly the “then please don’t show up in my ER expecting us to fix something you knowingly got yourself into” comment is what irritated me. This is one of the main reasons why I would never willingly give birth in a hospital again. If someone came at me in the ER with that sort of bitchery, they’d have the eyeballs slapped out of their head. Just sayin 😉

    And I agreed with your original point. But it could have been made without slamming another person for their choices. KWIM?

    (P.S. I’m referring to ALL the posts in this conversation, not just yours.)

  61. Bloggitybloggity says:



    I just finished mine up a few days ago. *sigh* I guess I’m naturally bitchy and have no excuse…

  62. adensmama says:

    Yeah I don’t think a woman should be judged for having to transfer to the hospital when attempting a home birth, I know that they sometimes get really pissy about it.

    I watched one of those documentary shows about “extreme birth” or whatever and they were doing it on UC. What bothered me was the women who didn’t get prenatal care AT. ALL.

    Like…you can bet your ass I’m gonna have an ultrasound to make sure I don’t have placenta previa or my baby isn’t going to try to come out butt first kwim? I suppose it’s all their choice but I would hate to see someone bleed to death and lose her baby too just because she had no idea wtf she was doing.

  63. diudiaole says:

    Big Girl Panties — what a joke “your ER”. There are no midwives available anywhere within 3 hours of where I live and every OB doctor in the area wanted me to schedule my butchering, oops I mean birth regardless of necessity. I was dropped at 29 weeks for refusing to cooperate. I kept myself on bedrest and monitored my BP and blood glucose. I had already had 2 ultrasounds and all my bloodwork done.

    Anyway, after over 50 hours of hard labor with the baby not descending…I went to the hospital that is 2 minutes away from my house where I was treated terribly by all the staff and had CPS called on me etc. Screw you and ‘your ER’ big girl panty bitch.

  64. myra says:

    I, for one, am on the rag. LOL

  65. Biggirlpanties says:

    #60. Exactly, the show was “freebirthing” and it was on discovery health. The woman had no prenatal care but thought she might have placenta previa. When she had a uterus unedelivered for around 4 hours she decided she should go to the hospital and unleashed her “bitchery” on the doctors there demanding a D&C. Talk about going from one extreme to another. I’m all for midwife assisted deliveries, doulas, birthing centers, etc. What bothers me is the risk they put their babies in when they do it alone without medical education especially regarding emergent situations.
    We care for the patients that come in during an emergent situation post unassisted delivery the same as we would care for any other patient. it’s the attitude when they come because they didn’t want any medical involvement and now they don’t have any choice. It’s like someone who gets behind the wheel of a car drunk and crashes it. They put themselves at risk unnecessarily but we still care for them… it’s just frustrating when it was avoidable. I hope that makes more sense.

  66. Biggirlpanties says:

    #61. That is entirely different. It’s awful you had such a bad experience but you had prenatal care and ultrasounds and it sounds like you knew what you were doing as far as monitoring yourself, you just didn’t want a c-section which is understandable (if I’m understanding your situation correctly). Every situation is different, I just hate seeing babies in distress and worse when it’s avoidable. Clearly I suck at getting my point across. Again, sorry you had an awful experience.

  67. diudiaole says:

    #64 — ok your previous posts came off quite differently… no big deal, sorry I got pissy… I did end up with surgery in the end regardless after about 7 more hours in the hospital… turns out I have an abnormally shaped uterus and even though my baby was under 6lbs, he was posterior and stuck tight.

    The hospital dismissed the CPS case right after I signed forms stating that I refused the hep B and vit K due to religious beliefs(the only waiver in my state).

    It has been over 4 months and I have a sweet healthy baby boy, so all is well… and I’m fine too other than all the weight I need to lose! 😐

  68. thewhiteninja says:

    I think if you want to do UP and UC you should get at least one quick anatomy scan.

  69. monkey says:

    Just dropping in to say hi!

    I’m finally back from summer camp. It was long, hot and tiring. But DS and I survived and my students had a blast.

    Also, if you shoot small children with paint balls they will cry.

    I tried to explain this to my boss, but he insisted it would be a “fun” activity for the kids.

  70. DSDM2 says:

    Welcome back Monkey!

  71. pissedoff24 says:

    Mods being unfair and complete assholes?

    Color me shocked.

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