SIDS, has anyone ever had it happen? (

venicemom 06-08-2009 10:23 AM

SIDS, has anyone ever had it happen?
I’m working in a daycare. We have 2 parents who have previously lost children to “SIDS” and I’ve met several others. Some of my co-workers have started referring to it as stupid parent death syndrome, because every single case we’ve heard of, it’s been a situation where the parents did something really dumb and it should have been considered accidental death, or even homicide and yet was called SIDS. For instance, one parent taped a pacifier into their 2 month old’s mouth and then the house went to sleep. Woke up, the baby wasn’t breathing. Another parent left the baby in a backseat of a car during a snowstorm. The baby froze. Another, the mom was co-sleeping and drank too much one night and ended up sleeping on the baby.

I’m starting to wonder if SIDs is real, or is it just a blanket statement that covers all infant death. It never seems like anyone actually has a child die suddenly, or unexplained. :headscratch:
Please don’t be insulted if it HAS actually happened to you, or someone you know. I’m not asking to hurt anyone’s feelings, or trying to imply that everyone who has a SIDS related death is stupid or a bad parent. It’s just that as a newborn’s parent, everyone seems to freak about SIDS. Even I wake up over and over all night long to check to see if my dd is breathing. It sort of makes me wonder why they terrify new parents if it really is something you have no control over because otherwise, it’s something you can avoid. If it is avoidable, then it isn’t sudden or unexplained death.

Please let me know. I haven’t slept well in three weeks. I thought the paranoia would be easier with the second child but it’s not, and it’d be really nice to feel like it’s at least something I have control over.

Stupid parent syndrome? WOW.But it’s just the co-workers saying it.
  1. Sharpie says:

    I’m going to go ahead and diagnose this as a case of stupid poster syndrome.

  2. PTPW says:

    lol, what do you want to bet that most of that post was just lies and gossip? Is the OP stupid enough to believe that the police/hospital would diagnose a baby that freezes to death as SIDS?
    Stupid people make my head hurt.

  3. TaraC says:

    Wow, insensitive much?

    I babysat for a family that had their baby die of SIDS. He was asleep in his own crib, no blankets, no pacifier. I have never seen a couple as shook up as they were, and I will never forget it.

    My DS is not a sleeper, but when he does sleep for any length of time, and especially the first few times he STTN, I woke up convinced he was dead of SIDS.

    I am sure there are a very small percentage of SIDS deaths that were not accidental. But to make a blanket statement like the OP is ridiculous and insensitive.

  4. DSDM2 says:

    I need to refrain from responding to this right now… I have some not too kind things to say and might get myself banned for PMing those thoughts to the OP.

  5. me says:

    Wow. I have seen/heard stories that the baby’s deaths were called SIDS but its definitely not technically. Like suffocation with a pillow being held over the baby’s face or crushing with furniture. The post was really insensitively written for sure though.

  6. melmelly says:

    I know a woman that lost three sons to SIDS, supposedly. That was the label that was put to their deaths. This was back in the mid to late 80’s. Many questioned the deaths as truly being SIDS because of various factors. I would never go as far as to call it Stupid Parent Syndrome on any website.

  7. Roxanna says:

    This is honestly one of the most insensitive post I have seen on DS in the couple of years I have been on there. Even ‘IF’ her co-workers said this why would she post about it???

    For some reason I get this feeling that she wanted to ask the question herself and used ‘co-workers’ so she wouldn’t get flamed

  8. Flippin out says:

    wow. just wow.

    An employee of my moms lost a baby to SIDS. He was at daycare and she was at work. It was horrible. No explained reason for his death at all. He was in a crib, no blankets, on his back, in a well ventilated room.

    My BFF’s DH is a firefighter and he has seen several cases of co-sleeping infants being smothered by a parent, usually because of drugs or alcohol. But no way would a child freezing to death or a parent taping a pacifier into an infants mouth be deemed as SIDS. What an insensitive beyotch.

  9. diudiaole says:

    I lost a baby cousin to it. 😦 She was 7 months old and a perfect healthy baby.. her father a doctor, mother a nurse.. their first child, they were beyond devastated at the loss of their precious baby… WTF @ that poster!!!!!!!!

    off this topic, can I get another WTF??? :

  10. bearista says:

    #9 I don’t know, but I reported it….it seems like he/she was trying to upload pics of probably of less than a family friendly nature.

  11. Aj says:

    The adult diaper post is really funny, why would a grown man capable of finding a cloth diaper board, making a user name, and then posting an iso need with adult diapers for himself in the pool? And furthermore, why would his apartment manager know these details?

  12. magpiedpiper says:

    Also, if he registered in Nov 2008, why is this his first post? Weird.

  13. StacEy says:

    My neighbor’s baby died of SIDS. Dh saw the whole thing unravel and has been forever changed by the experience. WHO is stupid enough to believe that a baby freezing to death in a car would be diagnosed SIDS? Give me a break.

    12: Adult-baby fetishists like to look at pictures of kids in diapers and imagine being that baby. I am certain there are LOTS of AB people lurking all over DS and saving their favorite pictures for future role-playing. Its the reason I almost never post pictures of my kids and never wearing just a diaper or positioned in a compromising way. Ick.

  14. theinvisible says:

    12 I’d guess he’s a pervert that has been lurking on DS looking at all the precious little babies. He is getting some kind of pleasure from outing himself with this post, I’m sure. Good job, DS mods. Delete happy when anyone outs a scammer but hey, perverts are just fine. Anything to keep that membership number up.

  15. werd says:

    I was reading this thread earlier. It’s a piece!

    and PUKE – adult diaper fetishists?!?! WTF?!

  16. monkey says:

    I left a nasty reply to this post. If I get a strike or banned it was totally worth it.

  17. theinvisible says:

    I just want to say that I couldn’t sleep last night after reading the thread and all the replies. That was extremely ignorant or mean. Either way she’s a bitch. What nice mamas to so nicely explain their loss to this idiot.

  18. sassy1 says:

    what a bitch.

  19. amessymama says:

    What kind of person do you have to be to get enjoyment out of posting something so hurtful?

    Obviously, it’s all a load of crap. She’s doing it just to get a reaction. And she did get her reaction. But why? How can someone be that way?

    It’s one thing to come online and post a BS story about an old lady sharing her peanut/walnut cookies w/ 4 of your highly allergic kids.

    But to make up lies that will specifically hurt grieving parents. Uhg, what a sick demented bitch!!!

  20. mamapixie says:

    Werd, what rock have you been living under not to know about adult baby fetishists? Really?!

    Next thing you’re going to say you don’t know what furries are.

  21. werd says:


    I only know what furries are because of that episode of CSI Las Vegas, LOL!

    I know some people use adult diapers for incontinent but what the heck is sexy about a grown man in a diaper?! no thanks!!

  22. The ORIGINAL Just Me says:

    what a heartless bitch…

    and lmao def agree with you #21!

  23. amessymama says:

    Umm, what are furries?

  24. werd says:

    23 – people who dress up as furry animals (in costumes etc) and have parties and they usually have sex at the parties, in costume. LOL

    ohhhh the things you learn from watching CSI!

  25. hrm's mom says:

    yes CSI had a diaper one too!

  26. melmelly says:

    I learned about both furries a diaper fetishists from CSI.


  27. Grogwench says:

    Yep, I know both of those terms from CSI! Oh, the things I’ve learned….and wish I could un-learn!

  28. theinvisible says:

    I saw the furries episode, too. I thought it was total fiction! Anything that blurs the already fine line between men and big babies is too much for me.

  29. amessymama says:

    In a literal sense, of course. 🙂

  30. amessymama says:

    Wow that sounds hot!

  31. amessymama says:

    That was so weird! My posts were posted out of order.

    Let’s see if it happens again.

  32. amessymama says:

    Guess not. Strange.

  33. Thud says:

    There have been diaper porn sites shut down by mamas getting proactive about it. DS is a goldmine for them.

    As for the original post for this thread. I couldn’t read it. I mean, I couldn’t stomach reading it.

  34. KAL says:

    my mom had a baby brother who died of SIDs when he was 7 months old.

    when I had my kid all the NICU nurses were giving me info on SIDs and smoking & boys having a higher death rate of SIDs. I was freaked the fark out! I didn’t want my kid around my Grandma because she still smokes like a chimney.

  35. mysterymommy says:

    Hopefully the thread will go ***POOF***

  36. diudiaole says:

    Where is Messy?! She hasn’t been on in a few days at least…

  37. monkey says:

    I’m glad to see this mama got a tongue lashing from lots of other mamas. Urgh.

    This is why I’m a misanthrope.

  38. turkey lurkey says:

    There was a case recently in my area where the Mom taped a pacifier in the baby’s mouth and the baby died. The final report was just released — the baby died of SIDS, and it had nothing to do with the pacifier. So I think she is confused on that one.

    Before the advancement of medicine and science and all that fun stuff, SIDS was often used as a blanket term for any time a baby died and they couldn’t figure out why. Now, however, they are able to more finely discern suffocation (for example) from SIDS.

    And the OP is an asshat. Who would say something like that? And at the end there, where she admits that she just wants someone to tell her that SIDS doesn’t really exist so she can sleep well at night. Hey, welcome to parenthood. If you’re sleeping well at night, you’re not doing it right.

  39. Mommyof4Es says:

    Just checked, it’s gone now

  40. The ORIGINAL Just Me says:

    Turkey Turkey
    And the OP is an asshat. Who would say something like that? And at the end there, where she admits that she just wants someone to tell her that SIDS doesn’t really exist so she can sleep well at night. Hey, welcome to parenthood. If you’re sleeping well at night, you’re not doing it right.


    so true!

  41. hrm's mom says:

    OMG I have been on HIGH alert since DD was born. I cannot sleep if she sleeps through the night I wake up like 3 times to check on her. DH is no help he asks should you check on HR. I am so freaked about SIDS. This lady is a Bitch, I mean HELLO it is totally a real thing why would you post something like this.

  42. Tuppylover says:

    Geez, I still check on my 2 year old! How fricken scary to have a child die from sids! The op should have her ass kicked for being such an insensitive MORON!

  43. princesshannon says:

    op is an ignorant bitch that needs her ass kicked. family friends recently lost their 2 yo to “unexplained causes” that their family doc told them was sids except that their child was considered to “old” to die from sids. yes, sids is real stupid bitch.

  44. insomiac says:

    I cannot believe anyone would say that. That is so freakin’ insensitive. Yes sometimes dumb things happen but WTF was the point of that post? To try and be convinced real SIDS, where there really is no explanation, actually exists so she gets to feel better?
    Just yuck.

  45. skorupi88 says:

    Ack. Stupid Poster Syndrome.

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