decision about school (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=757451)

or is it just the amount of BS they spew that makes it seem that way?

06-01-2009, 01:02 PM #1
tessa_s212
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: OH
Posts: 368
My Mood:

decision about school

The college I’m attending doesn’t technically have a maternity leave. Here are my options:

I could apply to FAFSA for a “leave of absence” but I wouldn’t be able to begin classes again until April 2010 (to get back into rotation). Because of how long that leave would be FAFSA likely wouldn’t approve it, and if I wanted to take the summer off, I’d be forced to basically “drop out.” Payments on my loans would begin, and when I wanted to begin classes again, I’d have to re-enroll and go through a long process. I wouldn’t, however, have to retake any classes that I’ve already taken. IF I were to take this time off, I’d no longer be considered a student, and would have to work 20 hrs a week to qualify for food stamps. I likely wouldn’t be able to find a job (pregnant, no one is hiring, more and more people are still being laid off here), and if I did find one, Dustin and I share a car and it’d make him going to college and finding a job difficult. We HAVE to work around each other until we can afford another car. So, the likelihood is that if I “dropped out” there’d be more bills and debts to worry us and we would no longer qualify for food stamps. But, I would have more than plenty of time to breastfeed and be at home with our baby.

I could continue school. I would get no leave. I would have to go up until the day my contractions start basically, deliver, get out of the hospital, and get my butt back into classes. If you miss more than 3 classes, you drop a letter grade. More classes missed, it drops another letter grade. I’m very worried about doing this, because if for any reason complications would arise or bed rest, and I missed too many classes, I’d fail out of all my classes and have to retake them – costing me more money in the long run. But, assuming my pregnancy has been great and I’m healthy and my delivery would follow the same course, the next thing I’d have to worry about is breastfeeding. I REALLY want to breastfeed. In fact, I’m dead set on it. I do not want my baby on formula. I know about nipple confusion and the sorts, and I’d likely need at least 2-3 weeks to get my milk supply consistent and me and baby get the hang of it. This would mean more time missed. And then there’s simply that babies are a lot of work. I’m worried how much I could truly focus on school and whether or not I could pass my classes. But, by staying in school, my FAFSA money would increase and I’d basically be paid to go to school. I could use the extra money to put it right onto my college loans, to save up for a car, and have extra cushion of money for the baby ontop of the assistance we already get.

The first option sounds just awful to me. I do want to continue going to school now that I know there is no maternity leave and I’d be so severely “punished” if I were to take time off. I’m just mostly worried about putting my child first, and also maintaining my grades. I’m such a hard worker, and I have one teacher who reassures me I could do it, but this is my first child and it is going to be a HUGE adjustment for all of us. I don’t want to spread myself too thin with school and leave myself too emotionally, mentally and physically drained to be there for our baby.

Anyone else ever gone to school and had a baby? Please tell me its doable, because I’m thinking it is the ONLY option right now and I HAVE to make it work. I do feel as if I can,.. I’m at the top of my class, I’m a very fast learner, I have a background and knowledge in animals already.. but I just don’t want to get over my head.

*chants to herself* I think I can, I think I can!*

06-01-2009, 02:04 PM #7
tessa_s212
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: OH
Posts: 368
My Mood:

Re: decision about school

Quote:
Originally Posted by Boots View Post
I don’t know what your class schedule is like but assuming it is similar to mine (I go 3 days a week about 15 hours) I would just keep going and go with option 2. I would get a good breast pump and pump my little heart out during the breaks in the bathroom. I would also start pumping right away to get a good supply coming. You will find that it is a lot easier to get a good supply than you may think. Second, I would look into going home/wherever baby is during my breaks to nurse. Babies are a lot of work, but they can be held while you are writing a paper or nursed while you are studying. It can be done! You will find that the baby is more of a motivator than anything else and when you look back on this time you will wonder how you were able to do it!

IF you are in a special program like a nursing program my answer would change. Those programs are a lot more demanding and time consuming and I would reevaluate my answer/advice. Just remember if there is a will there is a way!

My program is MORE demanding than nursing – I’m in a veterinary technician program. However, I’m still in the lecture portion of my rotation for now, and won’t have labs for another semester. So that will help. By the time I’m in labs and even more difficult classes, breastfeeding and everything with baby will hopefully be routine.

It is a one hour commute.. so when I do go to school, I can’t go home on a break to nurse. Classes are about 2-3 hours in length, and just one a day. The school does not have an on-campus daycare, so that isn’t an option either. My best and truly only good option is to stay home as long as possible without my grade slipping too far, and then pump almost exclusively so that mother can bottle feed baby my breastmilk when I’m away at school.

I WILL go to school next quarter, I’ve decided. Now, I just need to do my absolute best to make it through!

06-01-2009, 02:27 PM #9
tessa_s212 // <![CDATA[//
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: OH
Posts: 368
My Mood:

Re: decision about school

Thanks for all the encouragement and advice everyone! It is well recieved and thoroughly appreciated, especially after the last thread that so many urged me to drop out and called me awful things because I didn’t feel that I should. So thank you for the encouragement! It’s doable, I’m sure.. I’ll just have to make it work1
Yesterday, 05:22 PM #34
tessa_s212
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: OH
Posts: 368
My Mood:

Re: decision about school

Let’s just say that many of those that fail out of the veterinary technician program transfer to the nursing program where they can pass there and get a degree. Many people don’t understand how truly demanding veterinary technology is and how much more work and education it entails than just nursing. Veterinary technicians as a whole are very much unappreciated. We are more than an “animal nurse” but a radiologist, an anesthesiologist, a dental assistant(or in some cases, the dentist), a surgical assistant, perform tests such as urinalysis, CBC, diagnostic testing, provide specialized nursing care, and must learn to treat and provide medical care for way more than just one species. Just like in nursing, we have rotations and must work so many volunteer hours in clinics and with animals in our own time. It is truly very demanding and just as difficult as nursing, if not more so. (Those that I’ve spoken to IN practice that were once nurses, or nurses that were once vet techs have all agreed the schooling and work for veterinary technician was more demanding.) Lol. And need I mention we get paid squat for how much education we must have?

I already have a free babysitter any time I need, but I will also look into day care assistance. I’m reluctant to use it, however, because of my wanting to breastfeed and CD, and most daycares inability or noncompliance with attending to those special needs. But either way, even when I first return to school I do not get breaks long enough within my 3 hour classes to breastfeed or tend to a baby. When I go back to school, he will have to be on bottle(breast milk) and won’t be able to come to school with me.

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Old Yesterday, 05:30 PM #35
tessa_s212
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: OH
Posts: 368
My Mood:

Re: decision about school

Quote:
Originally Posted by NATTYBATSMOM View Post
Couple of things to consider:
What if you have a cesarean? The fact that the rates are now up to almost 50% in some cases, you cannot ignore the possibility of a cesarean, especially if you are giving birth in a hospital. A cesarean is a FIVE DAY hospital recovery. It also can make starting breastfeeding difficult (not impossible, but difficult). So, you really want to make sure you look into all of the possibilities.

I already plan on being out of classes for up to 2 weeks. If I have a c-section, I know it is a 6 week recovery, but I’ll just have to try to go to school anyway. If I can’t, I’ll have to fail out of the classes and retake them. There is no other option, as I cannot afford to start paying on loans, and I cannot afford to not be on food stamps. If I fail my classes, I just wait for those classes to come back around, but can go on with my rotation and stay in school without any really huge consequences.

I don’t feel like posting the rest of her Bull Shit. And FYI, she is the idiot who was a bitch about the armed forces. (see: https://thedramaofdiaperswappers.wordpress.com/2009/05/25/grobaby-trolls/ )

( http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?p=7375926#post7375926 ) Not just that post, but that is one of the worst…

“Here is the one where she says that her mom’s house is totally unsafe before later saying that she was going to babysit:”

http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showpost.php?p=7364527&postcount=14

http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showpost.php?p=7410157&postcount=25

More here: http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=706335

DS has deleted most of her posts b/c they were so judgmental and against TOS.

Now that she was banned for not following TOS, she ran to pregnancy.org to start a WOE IS ME thread: http://diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=622908&page=23

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Comments
  1. screenname says:

    A few people have asked her why she even bothers to post these threads when she’s already got her naive mind made up. Here is why: she wants e-hugs because she’s gotten herself into an unplanned pregnancy. She wants everyone to say “Oh you poor brave girl! The world’s against you but we know you can pull through!”

    Here’s the facts little one. Life is NOT like a Lifetime Movie. Especially when you’ve decided to leave your baby in a filthy home with dangerous animals and several chain smokers under the care of a person who has mental illness and allowed her children to be sexually abused by her FIL.

    She can’t bring her mom to school with her even though her mom is unemployed. She can’t take her baby anywhere else even though with her being dirt poor she’d get free childcare.

    I hope she’s a troll. I hope that she’s making this crazy shit up.

  2. BffMama says:

    WTF Chuck.

  3. Munklettes says:

    I totally don’t get it. I got my student loans deferred several times – and I wasn’t pregnant and I had a job. She’s full of excuses.

  4. StacEy says:

    I don’t even know why people bother giving her advice, she’s obviously not even listening. I went back to school when my daughter was 4 weeks old, dh kept her for the time I was in class and I nursed or pumped as necessary. The stubborn kid never did take a bottle. I nursed at the computer while writing papers with one hand. The bottom line is, she needs to decided what she wants to do and then just do it. Stop bitching about the raw deal life has handed you and figure out a way to make it work.

    Also, the whole nursing is easier than vet tech is absolute bullshit. What nurse actually agreed with her??

  5. DSDM2 says:

    can someone flag this post please? http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showpost.php?p=7459861&postcount=24 it is spam and bugs me for some reason.

  6. Aj says:

    So, OP is from Defiance… I used to travel there for work, and really, it’s probably one of the most depressing places I’ve ever been. As soon as I would get there I would feel like stabbing myself in the eye with a dull object, so it kinda makes sense that this is where she’s from.

    Defiance is really poor, backwards thinking, I wouldn’t wish living there upon any of my worst enemies. Now I kinda feel bad for her…but not really.

  7. magpiedpiper says:

    We used to travel to Defiance in college for softball games. I agree – it’s depressing and the people are kind of crappy.

  8. Nicole says:

    Maybe she doesnt need to be having a baby if its going to interfere with her education. dumb ass.

  9. mmspirit7 says:

    8 those pics ugh.

  10. DSDM2 says:

    She could go to BG if she really wanted an education/to get away.

    She doesn’t want to.

  11. mamacake says:

    does anyone know why Meg (shabbychic) was banned? I know people thought she was bitchy- but i just thought she was blunt – and she was SO helpful in the photo forum. Now it is being taken over by a bunch of ditzy postings, and most of the posters don’t know the slightest thing about photography 😦

  12. Aj says:

    Really, she could go anywhere, there doesn’t seem to be anything that’s keeping her where she is, but you’re right–she doesn’t want to. It’s a lot easier to complain than actually do something to improve your situation.

  13. Aj says:

    She was banned?

  14. JustPeachy says:

    She deserved it IMO. Not that I applaud the DS dictators and all but she got away with a shit load of stuff that us peons would’ve been bitch slapped for. I mean she fucking called out a mod for crying out loud.

  15. mamacake says:

    ah- i don’t know about anything about Meg outside of the photo forum. All I know is that the photo forum has totally changed in the last 24 hours to a “oooh what a cute kid- beautiful picture!” love fest. I’m off to find another photography site…

  16. screenname says:

    Totally agree mamacake. Meg was blunt, but if you seriously want to take better pictures you need people to be brutally honest.

  17. saslewis11 says:

    Really, Peach what did she get away with??? Enlighten me.

  18. Shabbychic says:

    Peach, my whole goal in life was to get banned like you. Now I can rest easy. Dont worry. I’ll be back. Didn’t you once say that I say all the things that you wish you could? Yeah, you did.

  19. Shabbychic says:

    Oh and dont worry. Its just temporary. I’ll be back.

  20. Messy says:

    I check the Tessa thread everyday to see if she has offended any other group of people. I am sorry she lives in such a depressing place, but if she does not wake up and change her way of thinking, she is going to be another statistic continuing the circle of neglect/abuse/poverty.

  21. JustPeachy says:

    Not all of them. But you and I do think alike I will give you that.
    And she has bashed numerous wahms openly without DS so much as blinking an eye.

  22. JustPeachy says:

    Of course you will. Its a 3 month ban right?

  23. saslewis11 says:

    Who, Peach? Which WAHM’s?

  24. Bloggitybloggity says:

    12/16-

    I didn’t realize she was banned. That’s crazy.

    But yeah. All those “ditzy” posters that don’t know fucking shit about photography have every right to be in a shutterbug forum as you do. It’s an open forum. More people have been posting lately. Big fucking whoop! That just speaks to the whole cliquish elitist crap that most people swear wasn’t going on.

    Everybody had to start somewhere. Of course I’m sure that YOU picked up a camera and instant popped out some orgasmic shots. Right? Go find yourself another photography forum. I’m a little surprised that someone who considers themselves to be such a superior photographer would even be slumming it with a sub-rate DS shutterbug forum anyway. Sometimes people want to share photographs without someone telling them they are such shit they should throw them away. IIRC, those people are posting in newbie specific threads. Why does that bother you? Because it turns out there are more than 6 members forum? Maybe you should ask Lee if he’ll let you guys make your own ‘private club’ forum. That should keep all the idiots out.

  25. The ORIGINAL Just Me says:

    #1 WTF??? She’s got issues…

  26. Shabbychic says:

    Whoa Nicky, you are a tad riled up. You are sure that when I picked up the camera I had perfect shots? Wow, you think highly of me. I never even so much as stepped into the newbie thread. And I gloss over most posts, which you can see lately. It would go to reason I would hang out on SB being as I participate in the CD aspect of DS. Other than those 2 areas, I dont participate, I generally cant. I have nothing to say.

    Yeah, a 3 month ban. Should I care about this? Seriously? I didnt realize that DS is so important. The most important thing in my day is that one of the cards in my server is corrupted and I cannot access any of my files. DS seems rather insignificant in the face of that.

  27. Shabbychic says:

    Oh yeah and to add the only thing I am mildly bummed about is missing the CD part. I have 2 other photog forums.

    Ooooh, Peach, can I hang out with you wool girls? Fun times.

  28. amessymama says:

    Maybe tessa should look into writing jingles for television commercials. I bet she could make a killing and I’m sure it’s a whole lot easier than Vet tech school. She could support her family and their dysfunctional habits.

    Oh, someone did that already.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0406158/

    I bet she saw that movie and it gave her so much hope and optimism, that she can’t accept anyone’s advice that doesn’t relate.

    Tessa, the prize of Defiance, Ohio.

  29. JustPeachy says:

    No thanks. We already met the snark quota πŸ™‚
    Do I think you should care? Nope. Do I feel you got preferential treatment on DS? Yup.
    Sarah she bashed on Aimee and Heather. Maybe it wasn’t openly like I stated before but rather in her passive aggressive style of doing so.

  30. Bloggitybloggity says:

    27-
    I was responding directly to Mamacake’s post. I hadn’t realized that you made it to this thread yet. And I am sure that you did NOT, and neither did Mamacake. But apparently all who come after you are expected to.

    I would assume that anyone with polished talent or experience would stay out the “newbie” threads… but obviously not. I suppose is just too offensive that they exist at all.

    Was I riled at her snobberific holier-than-thou posts above? Maybe. I know there a good many sweet ladies that have been too scared to post anything or say a damn word in the shutterbug forum for the very sentiments that she laid out. It pisses me off.

    Blah. 3 month ban. I don’t know why Mamacake had her panties in such a bunch over it. You’ll be back in no time to offer your CC and such. Thank goodness! She made it very clear that NO ONE can grow as a photographer without you. Don’t you get tired of such a heavy burden, Meg?

    And DS shouldn’t be that important to anyone. As you pointed out, a photographer should be more concerned with things related to their photography… not some diaper-related social networking site.

  31. Shabbychic says:

    Oh Peach, I am so sad. It might be TOO snarky for even me over there. And I rest assured that just as you have always said, I said about Aimee and Heather what you didn’t, couldn’t, whatever.

    Why do you think I got preferential treatment. I am just another user like anyone else. Any treatment I got was the choice of someone else. I didnt hold a gun to anyone’s head.

    And BTW Nicky and anyone else. If anyone is SCARED to post because of me that is THEIR problem, not MINE. If anyone curls up into a ball and cries because they cant be told what I think, that is THEIR choice. I am honest, I am truthful. I am not a liar, I am not a thief, I am not a mass murder, I am not a sociopath.

    It is UNBELIEVABLE the power that you say people put in me. I am another person on the internet. You have all built me up, not me.

    I am not scared of anyone. I am not frightened to state my opinion and back myself up. So no, I dont believe people cant grow without me, hell I am barely around. But I really think that people that are afraid to post on DS because of what I have to say should grow some balls.

    The world is an unfair place. People exclude, people steal, people are mean, people abandon you and people die on you. I highly suggest that everyone stop worrying about ME and what I have to say and grow some skin, find an opinion and stand up for what they believe in instead of whining that they cant post because they are afraid of big, bad, old me.

  32. JustPeachy says:

    Hmmm why would I have negative things to say about Aimee and Heather?
    Honestly I have no idea why you got preferential treatment but it was very obvious to be true. Maybe the powers that be were kissing your ass but thats just speculation on my part.

  33. Shabbychic says:

    But why? Why would they kiss my ass. Why would I get preferential treatment. Everyone thinks it, but has no idea why? Like I said, just another username.

  34. werd says:

    pft, I posted my info about student loans. I’m sure it went unread.

    I feel very sorry for her child if she continues her life this way. Life is as hard as YOU make it, I have learned. And DH and I have done an AWESOME job of that at times, LOL. But that girl has no idea what is coming…

  35. mmspirit7 says:

    Shabbychic,

    CDN, is not a copy for ds and i think it’s tacky in your second post ever on the site to ask for a new forum. You didn’t even take time to learn about about this site.

    tacky, and low.

  36. Shabbychic says:

    So what? There cant be a photog forum. Low? Tacky? Puh=leeze. I’ll find you tacky and low while im at it. Its a message board, they have forums. Thats what they are there for.

  37. adensmama says:

    I don’t even feel like reading tessa’s stupid post anymore. She is dumb and annoying and she just ignores anything she doesn’t want to hear.

  38. mmspirit7 says:

    Listen there is a place already to talk and post pics, but you got banned and ran you ass over there to chat, fine.

    But you didn’t take the time to find the rule and what forums they had and the rules for them before asking to add to.

    i think it’s tacky to ask for a new forum in your second post on a board you just joined. i do.

    i don’t care what you think about me.

  39. Roxanna says:

    Someone on DS deleted my last post on Tessa thread and I am fucking pissed I asked why so I will probably be banned now..

  40. Shabbychic says:

    I dont think anything about YOU.

    Herein lies the whole problem. You said it all. I have no judgement of you. I DONT EVEN KNOW YOU.

    It’s a message board. Like I said, they have forums. Without forums, no message board. People should ask for forums, thats what keeps message boards running and active.

    I’ll go read the rules now, if it makes you feel better. But please, dont think I think anything about you. I have nothing to do with you.

    I get a very warm welcome at CDN. Thanks everyone.

  41. adensmama says:

    #40 what did you say?!

  42. mmspirit7 says:

    wow you sign up and don’t read the rules first?

    there is a forum for photos you are the dumb as that didn’t take five minutes to find out or see what you had to do to join.

  43. Bloggitybloggity says:

    32-

    Pfft. Meg , that’s exactly what I’ve been saying. That’s what my big.mean.comment was about. Not you specifically, as there is all sorts of unhealthy worshiping being handed out. But really, there are a lot of people on the DS forum that are so scared of posting something lest it offend you. What about that other chick in the confessions thread? The one who was all terrified to admit that she was gonna start charging? That’s just one example. I don’t *really* care, but the thoughts do cross my mind. I shared them and ZOMG– I’m such a terrible bitch.

    I certainly don’t blame you for everyone else’s behavior. They choose to demean themselves. W/E. I haven’t built up shit. I’ve merely made an observation. I find it hard to believe that you don’t notice the way some people grovel in your presence.

    I am not afraid of anyone either. And I agree that people should grow some balls. Not everyone has thick skin, though. It took me years to develop a hard shell. Some other people are still working on theirs. Again, my point wasn’t that you should stop being a self-proclaimed bitch. It was that people should stop letting it get to them. And that doesn’t just include people that avoid the confrontation at all. It also includes those that only post things that they hope you will approve of. It’s sad. That’s all.

    If you think that I’m afraid to back up my viewpoints and form and original thought or opinion, then you are misunderstanding everything I have said. I know all about dealing with the shit life throws at you. The world IS a big, bad, unfair place. That doesn’t mean that everyone should feel free to add to the misery. But people really should learn not to let others affect them so deeply.

    Oh wells. Enjoy your vacation from DS.

  44. Shabbychic says:

    I never read the rules. I guess that’s why I got banned, lol.

    Why read the rules, I got my question answered.

    Like DH says. Why look for something when you can ask and someone might know. Seems to me like an ingenious use of know how.

  45. Shabbychic says:

    Nicky, I didnt say YOU were afraid. I was replying to your observation on other people. I agree with you wholeheartedly. People should not be afraid of me and search for my approval. Clearly you are not afraid to speak up.

    Thats why I love Peach so much.

    Anyway, I dont notice groveling. Honestly. I dont have the time and it goes hand in hand with what I said before. I focus on what I need to and a message board is really very peripheral.

  46. anamnesis says:

    Comments sure are dramatic today.

  47. mmspirit7 says:

    really you don’t read rules? Wow

    You didn’t ask if there was one you asked for one in your second post. didn’t even take the time to see what was offered there. You just wanted a sub. for ds. while you were on your 3 month ban

  48. Bloggitybloggity says:

    47-

    This is a drama blog πŸ˜‰

  49. Shabbychic says:

    48-Thanks for letting me know what I want. No, I never read the rules. Most people do? Color me crazy. Like I said, why look for something when you can ask and someone might tell you. Looking then becomes misplaced effort. Its a much more efficient way to go through life. It yields much better results. Really, I promise.

  50. Roxanna says:

    I pretty much said that she is acting like a immature teenager and that no one was putting her done for wanting to be a Vet Tech but was more offending that she makes threads and insults groups of people(military/nurses) and that people have given her advice but she doesn’t want it and that it was pretty obvious that this child was not going to be put 1st

  51. amessymama says:

    Hey guys Meg has her own drama blog entry:

    https://thedramaofdiaperswappers.wordpress.com/2009/06/03/meg-why-were-you-banned/

    Can we take Meg convo over there, please. Thanks. πŸ™‚

  52. Sharpie says:

    Tessa sounds like those 12 year olds you see on the Maury Show. She has no idea what it takes to be a mother and is in for a huge wake up call. She won’t last 2 weeks of being a mom and a student that is if she even goes back at all. There are some people who can do it but with her none existent maturity level this is going to be an EPIC FAIL!

  53. DSDM2 says:

    She definitely likes to place the blame on everyone else, that way if she fails, it can’t be HER fault. It is the baby, or the loans, etc.

  54. Bloggitybloggity says:

    53- Epic Fail!

    LMAO. Now I miss my DH. That’s his favorite term for the week :p

  55. mamacake says:

    Nicki- I have no problem with newbies on the photo forum- I am a total newbie myself. But I am already tired of posts that are like “waa- i cant turn my camera on-help me! here are 45 blurry photos i’ve taken in the last day- what’s wrong with them” and then the thread goes on for 40 replies saying “oh your kid is so cute” and the OP just keeps saying “waa my camera is broken” And these types of posts have majorly increased over the past couple days. It’s like someone going onto a knitting forum and going “i some yarn and needles- now everyone teach me how to knit” and every time they make a stitch we’re all supposed to cheer. Hate her or worship her- i don’t care- at least Meg periodically helped minimize some of this bullshit.

  56. Bloggitybloggity says:

    56-

    I can see your point. But the fact is that the shutterbugs forum isn’t specifically reserved for those that are super serious about their photography. It’s and OPEN forum.

    The best solution for all those that are annoyed with such posts would be to ignore them. That’s what Meg did. Surely her admirers can follow suit. I’ve asked dumb questions in the SB forum before, and I’ve been ignored. Boo hoo. I found my answer elsewhere, or I just did without. But why should anybody be afraid to ask any question? Dumb or otherwise? Someone may just have the answer they are looking for. You never know until you ask.

    I guess my point is that if it is so freaking terrible to weed through the BS because not everyone is up to par with your ideas on photography, then perhaps it is YOU that needs to change. Either your perception of the situation, or your location.

    Eventually all of us ditzy newbies will either improve, learn to go elsewhere for advice, or give up on photography altogether. What skin is it off your back?

  57. Berserk Llama Syndrome says:

    Ah boo! She has been banned!

  58. mamacake says:

    Sure it’s an open forum. And I totally think it’s great to ask questions- even very new questions. But the degree of hand holding that people seem to need is really strange to me. I might go on to a knitting forum and ask what I might need to start knitting. Then I’d get the stuff, get some books, start reading and practicing and practice and practice. Then I would feel I could come back and ask more- INTELLIGENT- questions about aspects of knitting. I see it the same way in the photo forum.
    If you start posting every single picture, try to get people to tell you how to do every single freaking thing with your camera, it becomes more about the forum and posting than it does about learning, IMO. And when you get too many people just saying “oh great job- cute kid” then you aren’t getting any tough love feedback to improve your pictures.

    You point out how this forum is not necessarily for people who want to improve their picture taking. Fine then- I guess it’s great for you to just sit and chatter away for hours on end about how you can’t figure out to turn your camera on-but I DO want to improve- so you are right- I will be finding another forum.
    And I am not sure why you didn’t just follow your own advice and just ignored Meg’s posts if they bothered you.

  59. Roxanna says:

    I no longer have access to the thread….did something happen?

  60. magpiedpiper says:

    I think it went *poof after I said that I found it terrible she would still let her mother babysit. And that I truly do pray that no harm ever befalls the baby like the sexual abuse that happened to her as a result of her mother’s negligence/mental health.

    Apparently caring that a child doesn’t suffer is ground for thread deletion at DS.

  61. screenname says:

    Thread is Poof. Tessa is banned for:
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Banned for Abusing the reported post feature

  62. mamacake says:

    haha- well admin reads this blog obviously- if you look in the shutterbugs forum you can see cowmommy’s new post…wow that was fast! They must refresh this blog often!

  63. magpiedpiper says:

    really? lol

    I am sure my last post sent her over the edge. Too bad she won’t take that to heart though. I do feel so sad for her baby.

  64. werd says:

    wow they banned her?!

  65. Messy says:

    Tessa. It is a shame they poofed the thread and banned her. She is obviously immature and in need of some type of guidance and huge wake up call. DS is doing her baby a huge disservice by banning Tessa from the only reality she is ever going to bother reading (we know she read it since she abused the report feature… How one does that, I have no idea.) Someone email her and send her dumb ass over here for some reality.

  66. Bloggitybloggity says:

    59-

    I think you have managed to misconstrue every point I’ve made. Meg’s posts were never a big hairy deal for me. I was not the one that got all fucking wimpy and reported the Confessions thread. That was somebody else. I was perfectly content to share my opinion and then camp out by it. I responded to her verbal assault on me, just as anyone else would. I’m not a fucking doormat. The original issue was with something entirely different. Molly got overly defensive about something that wasn’t directed toward her specifically, and it got drammariffic from there. Period.

    Did you possibly miss ALL of my posts on that thread? I clearly stated that’s exactly the reason I don’t post more often. I’m learning on my own and I don’t see the point in posting a bunch of my crap for CC when my skills as a photographer aren’t really to that level yet. But I got my shit jumped for that. If you are going to be elitist snobs, could you please make up your mind? Rip me for not posting shit, or rip me for posting rabbit droppings. Please don’t rip me for both, it makes it too complicated to respond to.

    Sometimes people just want to SHARE. When they want CC, they will ask for it. I see nothing preventing you from posting your thoughts on that particular thread. She was asking how her shots were, why don’t you tell her? Why should Meg be the one to do all the dirty work? It’s so fun to sit back and nod your head when she applies “tough love” to somebody else, but you’re not willing to get your hands dirty? Come on.

    Frankly, the Shutterbugs forum of Diaperswappers really shouldn’t be the only place that anyone goes to “learn” about their photography. If it is, then they have way bigger issues than a bunch of newbies daring to post unworthy crap in the presence of greatness. Just my two moldy pennies on the subject.

  67. magpiedpiper says:

    Funny thing is, if you google her user name, you see that she posted the same grandma sob story on another pregnancy forum and got hugs for it. So apparently DS actually WAS the only place she was getting a reality check. Her BD was in 1990, so she’s still very young, and it’s too bad that it seems like she has no real guidance.

  68. Messy says:

    How does one get banned for “over use” of the report feature? What is the limit???
    Is there something that happens when you report a post? I have never done it, but am tempted to see what it is all about ROFL…

  69. werd says:

    MAN DS is really cleaning house today! Let those heads roll!

    Messy I remember last year they made a big stink about people reporting posts for dumb reasons so I’m sure they made a rule about it. Because the mods have to wade through piles of “she hurt my feelings so I’m gonna report her” posts/threads.

    When you report a post, it gets flagged for them to read and evaluate it.

  70. Roxanna says:

    I wonder how many times my post’s were reported….

    I thought she needed help that is some serious bullshit DS banning her! Honestly…

  71. Bloggitybloggity says:

    LMAO– I’ve done it a couple times for SPAM. There was this one chick in particular that kept posting her WAHM crap in the Wool FSOT section. People were gently informing her that it was not appropriate there, and she was all: Thanks for the info! Not.

    It got irritating so I reported several of her many threads. Nobody ever said anything to me about it… I wonder if they tell you before you get banned for over-using the report function?

  72. Sharpie says:

    Cripes, why can’t they just come out and say “banned for being an undercooked twatwaffle”.

    And Messy I don’t even think there is a limit to the report post thing I think they were just looking for an excuse to get rid of her.

  73. bearista says:

    1990? 90s babies having babies? Dang, I’m feeling old.

  74. Rain Cloud says:

    uh, I had two children and went to school full-time. She is not understanding the process.

    As a student you are allowed a semester break no questions asked and it doesn’t put you into repayment status.

    She needs to talk to her Dean of College!

  75. screenname says:

    Well if she reported every post that didn’t give her rainbows and sunshine (like, every response to every thread she ever started) then I’m sure the admin team would get tired of wading through her whining.

  76. mamacake says:

    Nikki-
    Meg’s posts were obviously a big deal to you because you went on and on about how it really bothered you how people worshipped pro photographers, etc, etc in that confessions thread. It was fairly obvious to everyone that you were talking about Meg.
    But the point that you missed when you ranted there- that Molly tried to point out to you- is that we need pros- on DS- on ILP- on all the photo sites. Even if they are bitchy and don’t blow flowers and rainbows up our ass. And if you had sat tight on that forum a bit rather than ranting about how people worship pros and how that’s just SO horrible– you might have learned more than you will now with everyone putting snaps on the board and everyone just saying “great photo!”
    I said earlier- I am a total newbie- so I am not qualified to do too much “dirty work” about telling people what is wrong with their photos- I can point out basic thing that are wrong- but I can’t see color casts, wb issues, etc.
    There are only a few people on there who can really help with those things- and now with Meg gone, even fewer.

  77. TL says:

    lol I was bored so looked up tessa on some other sites and boy some funny stuff there. Can’t say 100% its the same person, but sounds right anyway for your reading pleasure here’s tessa……………….. (read the comments after the first post that comes up, its entertaining lol)

    http://tessa-s212.xanga.com/

  78. Cubanita says:

    78/LOLOLO! Thanks for the entertainment… that’s gotta be her! I love this part of her profile, “I believe in abstinence- no drinking, no drugs, no sex before marriage”… hmmm… LOL!

  79. Bloggitybloggity says:

    Well Christina, don’t worry, Meg will be back. I’m sure everyone can sit tight until her ban is lifted. Despite what you may think, I didn’t *want* her gone. It made no difference to me, but I do like looking at everyone’s shares, and she always had some good ones.

    Why did I post in the confessions thread in the first place? Surprisingly enough it wasn’t in an attempt to earn my very first warning. I’ve been lurking there for a while. I was trying to become a bit more active. I lurk in all of my other photography forums, and I felt like wading into the pool and getting to know everyone better, and letting them get to know me. I was NOT, I repeat, NOT directing my confession at Meg. Really if I was directing it at anyone, it was the sheeple that baaaa at the feet of talent folk. But really– I wasn’t directing it at anyone there. I realize now that it was perceived that way. But what does that say about everyone that thought it?

    I am aware that we need pros around if we are to get better. I am also very grateful that there are so many talented photographers out there who are willing to share their experience. I just don’t see how it is helpful for twits to gush over every.single.thing that is said by some of these pros. In fact, that’s more of a distraction to me than having 30 newbies post their snaps. But we’re all different. You find it distracting to have non-pros posting their snaps in a casual shutterbug forum. I find it distracting to have sheeple shooting their very prettiest rainbows up the asses of the pros on more structured and focused photography forums. I guess we can’t win them all, and the Internet has a nasty way of conveying certain messages improperly. I’ll get over it.

    Zoh Mah Effing God!!! So much drama because I responded with an honest thought on a CONFESSIONS thread.

  80. Lolanae says:

    She apparently does dog training?

    If it’s her and she does have clients, can’t see her hurting that bad cash wise:

    http://www.freewebs.com/positivepossibilities/classes.htm

  81. screenname says:

    Has to be her. Has a twin, has a shitload of dogs, lives in a small town in Ohio, born in 1990.

    Well, unless you count the abstinence thing…

  82. TL says:

    #79 I know that part about abstinance cracked me up lol, she got herself into quite the pickle being the “absinator” she is lol.

  83. altaem says:

    “You’re still just a kid focused on your own demands and wants.”
    She actually said this in a comment to her “friend.” Pot calling the kettle black much???

  84. screenname says:

  85. Bloggitybloggity says:

    84-85

    Man. She really is a young thing, isn’t she. Those messy room pics are pretty funny.

  86. Roxanna says:

    Did you see that she is a member of a blog ring named

    I don’t need drugs to act like an idiot

    She is super young & so is her boyfriend looking this is just sad hopefully the baby wont be staying in the room the linoleum looks really dirty. Also got to love the pics of her with her sunglasses on doing the typical Myspace pic

    I dont know why but I have a feeling they are going to live happily every after!

  87. monkey says:

    I really feel for the Tessa girl. It sounds like she had a fucked up, possibly abusive childhood and is set to repeat the cycle. I understand being young, pregnant and all “OMG the world is out to get me.” I know when I first got pregnant I was panicked even though it was planned, I had an amazing DH and I had a great job.

    My dad is a therapist and he says with people trapped in a cycle like this really need someone to smack them upside the head.

    So Tessa, if by some miracle you read this here’s some advice.
    1. Butch up. You’re a parent now. Yes, you had it rough. Yes, it sounds like your parents did wrong by you. That’s the past. YOU have the chance to change all of that.
    2. You need to talk to your dean. I promise you there is a way to handle the school issue if you genuinely look for it.
    3. Take a parenting class. You have the chance to do a great job with your child and make up for your own past. A parenting class will teach you so many of the things you need to know.
    4. Join a credit union and visit their free financial adviser for some advice on how to save/earn money.
    5. I worked up until the day before I had my son (as a teacher I spent 8 hours a day on my feet) and went back to work 1 month after a c-section with massive complications. It can be done.
    6. Good for you for going to school. Find a way to keep it up.
    7. Contact your local department of social services for advice on free childcare and other support programs.
    8. You seem like a smart enough girl. YOU can do this… but you have to make the choice to grow up.
    9. If you can’t do it, ask for help or put your child up for adoption.
    10. Ask for help. There are tons of great ladies here on the drama blog that would be more than willing to give you advice and help. We are all mothers. We come from various backgrounds and most of us are nice, if a little snarky. If you are genuinely willing to make an effort we are totally willing to help you. We won’t tolerate bullshit, but we will support honest and a desire to change things.

    Sorry it’s so long, but I really do want to pass these tips on in case she comes here. Tessa, best of luck to you. The past is just that, the past. You can bury yourself in regrets and resentment or you can make your life awesome!

    And just to give you a little hope, my husband came from a home life similar to yours. Today he’s successful in a job he loves, has a family he adores and is HAPPY. By hard work and hope he made himself the life he wanted. You can do it too.

  88. theinvisible says:

    I had no idea how young she was. My oldest was born in ’92. She’s just being a typical know-it-all teenager. She’ll buck up when the baby’s born. I did and I was 17 when I had my first and a hell of a lot wilder than she seems to be. She really has no idea what she’s in for though LOL.

  89. Messy says:

    http://tessa-s212.xanga.com/profile/
    So… Anyone email her a link to her thread over here yet? πŸ™‚

  90. adensmama says:

    I just think her description of herself is funny, especially the whole abstinence thing. Her profile and all her pictures look so pitiful, even though she obviously has an EXTREMELY high opinion of herself.

    I do feel sorry for her because she’s probably always going to be stuck in that shitty town with her shitty family and live in a gross messy house like those “my room” pictures.

    Thank God I’m not her.

  91. naturalmamadot says:

    yea 89 I was a farkin crazy teen, but the second I found out about my pregnancy, I say my butt down, started researching and really didnt stop yet lol. I knew I had to do right by my child no matter what and I knew I didnt want to be like all my friends that were teen moms.

    I REALLY hope that she grows up, if shes already on a cloth diapering site and wants to breastfeed, thats enough right there for me to believe in her a little. I live in the neighboring state, I really do wish I could go help her. She needs to know that you cant live like that or ACT like that with a child. I feel bad for her and her baby.

  92. Messy says:

    Also, did anyone touch on the fact that if her mother suffers mental health issues, there is a chance she will as well? As in, when people mentioned the pregnancy depression, that is something she should more than take seriously… Nobody wants to see what can happen if she is having mental health issues with depression and it goes untreated then bringing a baby into the mix. Scary.

  93. Bloggitybloggity says:

    93- That’s EXACTLY how I was.

  94. Messy says:

    She has been formally invited to come visit “Da’blog”!!! I could not resist…

  95. naturalmamadot says:

    -95 have you said on here who you are on the boards yet? jw if I “know” you on cdn lol

  96. Bloggitybloggity says:

    97-

    Yeah. I’m luvmybaby333 over at DS. I don’t think I have an account at CDN… If I do, then I’m not active. lol

  97. naturalmamadot says:

    oh okay, never been active on ds cept for the fsot πŸ˜€

  98. Bloggitybloggity says:

    Oh yeah– and if I do, it would be under the same UN. Do you have a list of members available?

  99. monkey says:

    #93

    That’s what this kid needs to hear. Success stories from other mamas who took an unplanned pregnancy and handled their shit and made a good life for themselves and their child. Whoa, run on sentence!

  100. theinvisible says:

    I think her feelings will be hurt and she will get all self-justified. She need BGPs to hear what has been said about her and not only does she probably not have hers on…she probably doesn’t own any yet.

  101. monkey says:

    #102

    Good point. Well, everybody gets smacked with the reality stick at some point.

  102. screenname says:

    At least if she does come on here there is no report button. lol

    Seriously, this is what makes so many people upset. Not that she’s young and pregnant. I’m sure many moms here have been there. It’s that she bitches about her station in life (which she has every right to do) and then refuses to do anything about it.

    Want some advice? Don’t let your mom babysit. Seriously. I know she’s your mom and you love her but she isn’t a safe provider from what you’ve posted all over DS. Tell your boyfriend to find a job in another city. Go somewhere bigger like Toledo. He’ll be able to find work there. Then apply for aid there. Find a studio apartment. Here is a list of apartments that start at less than $400.

    http://www.apartmentcities.com/Ohio/Toledo/bedroom-0/

    You will find a job as a vet assistant there or a groomer. Or since it is a big city maybe you can find a job as a dog walker. Then you could take the baby with you. You can defer loans into infinity as long as you can prove you can’t pay them. I’m sure there are buses there, so no need for a second car.

    There are many people who would love to give you advice and help you out. You just have to be willing to listen to it. Read the list of 10 things you need to do above. There is some great advice that you should really think on.

    The best thing for your baby is to NOT continue the cycle of poverty/abuse that you had to come from.

  103. Messy says:

    Obviously she is not reading this… Here is her return email to me, which has me scratching my head and not surprised all at the same time:
    Why would you email this to me? And how did you get my email? Are you a moderator?

  104. Bloggitybloggity says:

    104-

    That sums it up perfectly!

    105-

    She must be confused. Did you clarify things?

  105. Messy says:

    Clarified:
    Nope. I am not a mod LOL! Just sharing a link to reality. Take it or leave it.
    The blog is a discussion of diaper swapper drama… Hence the name. You, my dear, are drama on diaper swappers, or at least were… Now, come on over here, introduce yourself and get the input you need to get on the right track.

  106. Messy says:

    #104 I hope she prints that post and frames it!!!

  107. monkey says:

    #104 Awesome.

  108. monkey says:

    Messy, preach it sister. Looks like you’re wielding the reality stick.

  109. TaraC says:

    Take a look at this! Apparently this blog is all about her!

    http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboards/showthread.php?t=522195

    Don’t post much, love to lurk!

  110. Messy says:

    #111 Bwhahahah! I am aweful! Wahhh!!! ROFLMAO! And no Tessa, I am not stalking you. Smooches snickerdoodles!

  111. screenname says:

    Of course she was nothing but nice. She didn’t degrade anyone in the military or say that nursing school is easy. She didn’t talk about her own mother in horrible (albeit true) ways and then say that she was leaving her baby with her. We’re the bad guys.

  112. Messy says:

    And her response to me:
    I find it oddly ironic that I am accused of being so immature and disillusioned from reality, however it is your sick and dysfunctional group of friends on your blog that stalk people online and must make your and their entire lives about internet drama. I may be a young mother, however there have been many young mothers before me that have made the a great life for their children, and me and my soon to be hubby will do the very same. My advice to you and anyone else that must find your entertainment through belittling, harrassing and berating others is to disconnect yourself from the internet, go spend more time with your children and learn a little something from them called love and kindness. At least, I do hope they were able to learn that even though you are not a role model of such behavior.

    Good day. You will not be able to contact me any further, so please don’t waste your time. And may God bless you, although you have not shown me the type of behavior that would be so deserving of it.

  113. DSDM2 says:

    She needs a reality check. BIG TIME.

  114. DSDM2 says:

    Pregnancy.org owners/mamas will see it really fast. They watch for trolls/idiots there too.

  115. monkey says:

    #114

    Oy.

  116. DSDM2 says:

    Dude she is fucking lying on the P.ORG thread! This thread was posted TODAY. It has NOT been going on for days.

  117. DSDM2 says:

    someone please call her out.

  118. monkey says:

    DSDM2 I’d love to… but frankly I don’t think I can handle joining another forum.

  119. TaraC says:

    I normally just read here and don’t comment, but this chick really ticked me off. First of all, my DH is military so she burned me with that first ridiculous thread she posted, and secondly she is just such a know-it-all. She keeps calling herself a mama but hasn’t had a baby yet, and has lots of DS posts with parenting advice and answers to parenting dilemmas. I think she’s in for a reality check as well!

  120. naturalmamadot says:

    Tessa….I dont think anyone has a problem with you because you are young…I got pregnant when I was 17, I stepped up and became a great mom…I think you DEFINITELY have the potential to be a really awesome mom, but not if you leave your baby with your mother. There are MANY moms on the blog and diaperswappers that have been in your position, but none I know of that would even consider leaving a baby/child with your mom, and none I know that complain but then do nothing about their situation.

    You going back to school is not the worst thing in the world…you are skimming what people say and taking what YOU want to out of their posts. Most people got irritated because all you did was whine, do nothing, whine some more, do some more nothing.

    I myself would give anything to have options for a job or have a boyfriend that could get a job, even at fast food or a grocery store. I have a trillion things in my way but I have never once posted in vent etc because really, how is that going to help? If I was to post, I would consider and probably try out all the advice I got.

    Also if I expected rainbows and sunshine, I would probably be putting it out there as well…not putting down the military and people in nursing programs. Seriously, if you can dish it, you need to learn to take it. Suck it up, keep the research up, be a good mom and for the sake of that baby do NOT leave him with your mother or any other person you are not 10000000% sure will treat him with nothing put perfect love and care.

  121. Messy says:

    Ya know, at least now we all know what she really thought about the mamas on DS. Yup. Niiice. Youth does not excuse what stupidity feeds.

  122. monkey says:

    #122

    Booyah.

  123. DSDM2 says:

    I thought she was due in sept?

  124. theinvisible says:

    Her reaction was completely unexpected….

  125. Messy says:

    #126 ROFLMAO! What? Didn’t expect her to run to another forum and put down everyone who tried to give her a reality check? Didn’t expect her to lie her ass off and pose herself as a victim? LOL. She is the ultimate victim… Poor thang.

  126. Messy says:

    DS keeps trying to download ad.yeildmanager onto my computer. My virus blocker is going nuts everytime I go to DS.

  127. DSDM2 says:

    I delete it twice a day. PITA.

  128. Messy says:

    #127 I remember when she posted that shit. She is real bright NOT. I feel so sorry for that poor baby she is bringing into the world to be the next generation of pathetic living. It is sad. What else is there to say? She is too self absorbed to see the reality of what another life will need of her. This is not a puppy that you can put in a crate and deal with by training from aquisition. This is a human child. Hopefully she will get some mental health help and they will guide her in the right direction before she does something harmful to her child (meaning to or accidentally).

  129. werd says:

    wow.

    “But anyway, the majority were very conservative christians, SAHMs that thought working as a mother was awful, they cloth diapers, home births, didn’t vaccinate, and treated anyone that circumsized their sons very very awful.”

    uhh. I’m not a conservative christian, I’m barely a Methodist. I work 2 days a week, I’m using disposies right now, I am having an elective 2nd c/s following an emergency one, I delay vax, and I’ll probably circumsize Alex.

    Guess I’m the minority on DS!!

  130. werd says:

    oh and apparently those of us who were posting Financial Aid information and Food Stamps information, contrary to her information, were “maliciously attacking” her.

    I am SO tempted to hop on that thread and set the record straight, complete with copy and pasting of threads!! She is a twat! You know, SHE asked for advice and didn’t like what she was getting so suddenly she is being victimized and abused and harrassed etc etc etc.

    GROW THE FUCK UP. YOU ARE ABOUT TO HAVE A KID. GET YOUR PATHETIC ASS OFF THE INTERWEBZ AND BETTER YOURSELF AND YOUR SITUATION WHILE YOU STILL HAVE TIME!

  131. werd says:

    yeah I just got in a fight with my mom and I’m hormonal so yeah. lol

  132. screenname says:

    Is it renting if you don’t pay rent and piss and moan when asked to do even the simplest of housework?

  133. DSDM2 says:

    Go werd. She needs a wake up call.

  134. werd says:

    you know, it just really pisses me off. I WISH I had that kind of advice/insight from others when I had JUST turned 22, was knocked up, dropping out of college, etc.

    A lot of us have been in her situation and instead of at least listening and considering what we have to say from our past experiences, she just plays Lil Miss I KNOW EVERYTHING at 19. SUCH a typical teenager.

    And who ultimately suffers??? Her child. That poor baby. If she doesn’t shape up, grow the fuck up and get her shit together, her kid is going to be a welfare dumbass just like her and apparently her parents. Another prime example of someone who should not have a baby, having one like nothing while there are those who go through m/c after m/c and can’t conceive. Makes me fucking sick.

  135. screenname says:

    OMG….

    First she posts:
    But I would also NEVER homebirth, as I feel that irresponsible – if my baby needs a doctor, I want the doctor there.

    Then she posts:
    I never once made any judgement against ANYONE else. If someone chooses to homebirth, that is their choice, and I never said anything against it. All I stated was that I was personally all for natural labors and laboring at home, but I would never homebirth because of my own beliefs. I never passed judgement, and I don’t appreciate being looked upon and described as ignorant.

    Of course she doesn’t make an ass of herself by making blanket statements about things she knows nothing about.

  136. DSDM2 says:

    Well, she is getting the ass patting she wanted.

  137. Messy says:

    Awe, they are all giving her hugs and rainbow farts. That is really going to help her face reality :::coughnotachanceinhellchoke:::

  138. werd says:

    nope, she never judged the military, home birthers or nurses. Never. not once.

  139. werd says:

    LMAO rainbow farts. I love you. May I hump your leg?!

  140. DSDM2 says:

    Ugh. I wish I could post over there. But alas, I risk outting myself. Come on ladies, do it for me. PLEASE. At least post the link someone.

  141. Messy says:

    Hump away baby!!! Dh is not in the mood to hump anything. Damn men.

  142. werd says:

    fuck it. I’ll do it. I’m in a super pissy mood. give me all the links to post.

  143. DSDM2 says:

    Most have been pulled. Let me find google cashe.

  144. magpiedpiper says:

    Tessa, honey, it’s not a personal attack if one is just repeating information that YOU willingly gave out.

    You might be upset that we pointed out that your mother is unfit to care for a child, but all the information about her came from your little fingers. If the things repeated about your mother ticked you off, then slap yourself because you are the one who said such HORRIBLE things about her first. If they are lies, then shame on you for lying. If they aren’t, then wake up and see that she is NOT FIT TO CARE FOR A BABY.

    Lastly – you aren’t married. That means you have a boyfriend, not a DH. That means you do not have a Grandmother-In-Law, it’s just your boyfriend’s Grandmother. And if you don’t give her money to stay in her home, THEN YOU AREN’T PAYING RENT. So shut your mouth and thank her profusely for letting the teenage supposedly-abstinent-until-marriage girl her son knocked up stay in her home and do whatever chores she asks of you in return.

  145. Messy says:

    DSDM2 You owe me…

  146. screenname says:

    Oh, and she’s an animal lover but is totally cool with using rat poison or guns to kill cats. Nice.

    http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?p=7221290#post7221290

  147. DSDM2 says:

    lol. I figure the blog staying alive is a good enough trade πŸ˜‰ Give me a few minutes. Doesn’t look like google caught a lot of it. There is this blog, the link I put in the comments here, and let me check the other thread

  148. Messy says:

    #150 Oh no… The blog staying alive is not enough… Here, I have another leg for ya :::winksmoocheshumphump::: ROFLMAO!!! I ❀ ya!!!
    Now, Werd, come over there and help me because I know I will be attacked and I doubt any bother to use lube…

  149. DSDM2 says:

    https://thedramaofdiaperswappers.wordpress.com/2009/05/25/grobaby-trolls/ This thread has comments on her other thread that was deleted.

  150. DSDM2 says:

    yup. Let me work on it.

  151. Messy says:

    DSDM2 Can you put some of her other fucktastic posts where she attacks groups of people up in the top so that those flying over from parts unknown can see it before they have to wade down through here?

  152. screenname says:

    Go Messy!

  153. screenname says:

    Here is one where she compares being in the military to prostitution or drug dealing:

    http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?p=7375926#post7375926

  154. screenname says:

    Here is the one where she says that her mom’s house is totally unsafe before later saying that she was going to babysit:

    http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showpost.php?p=7364527&postcount=14

  155. werd says:

    links! links!

  156. magpiedpiper says:

    Make sure you pull together the parts where she states that her mother is mentally unstable, allowed the sexual abuse of her and her sister, smokes soo much, and has a dirty home with aggressive dogs yet she WILL babysit her child by golly.

  157. DSDM2 says:

    putting the links in the OP

  158. DSDM2 says:

    Keep them coming.

  159. Messy says:

    Where is the one where her mother allowed her to be molested (or something to that effect) I hate to quote it when I forget her exact words…

  160. magpiedpiper says:

    Oh, man, she JUST turned 19.
    http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showpost.php?p=6894011&postcount=158

    http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showpost.php?p=7159751&postcount=9

    Hmm, maybe she deleted her post about the abuse? I’m not seeing it now.

  161. Messy says:

    The people on the pregnancy.org forum seem very smart. I wish I had joined something like that with my FIRST pregnancy. That would have helped me a lot (ok, so would the intewebz way back then). I think they will see through Tessa and maybe help get her on the right track. Someone has to be able to.

  162. werd says:

    phew. I’m pooped. I posted a bunch on there. I hope they aren’t taken by her BS. They seem like a nice group of people.

  163. TaraC says:

    Just gets better and better, can’t wait to see what happens with this!

    i too love how she described DS mamas, I’m a DS mama and my son is circ’d and vaxed and wasn’t cloth diapered until 14 months.

    And if cloth diapering and breastfeeding are so awful, why is she hoping to do both?

  164. Messy says:

    Ok, Werd, my turn to hump your leg for a while! Awesome job!!! Those mamas are surely going to see the reality and maybe help her see that this is a problem that CAN be fixed with some realization and determination.

  165. TaraC says:

    werd, is it on the same thread that I posted the link to above? Off to check . . .

  166. werd says:

    I’m all worked up b/t here and CDN arguing with someone about saving a baby deer. Apparently we should have just let it die. I hate people.

  167. monkey says:

    OMG I love you guys.

  168. DSDM2 says:

    I hope something gets into her head. She is really being ignorant by ignoring all the advice given to her.

    Most of us have more than one child, have had unplanned pregnancies, and have made it through school/work/family situations. She needs to get over the fact that she thinks she is an adult, and needs to think about this baby.

    Her rude judgments, and her holier-then-thou attitude on the military, homebirth and circumcision threads is why she is immature.

  169. werd says:

    yes I posted on that link to pregnancy.org. Lets hope some of them read and learn.

  170. TaraC says:

    http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboards/showthread.php?t=522195

    Link to her “poor me, another awful forum banned me and then someone made a blog all about me” post.

  171. TaraC says:

    Oh what has she said about circumcision? Totally missed those posts.

  172. Sharpie says:

    Ya know, usually I’m all for a good ole smackdown but I’m sitting here thinking that this is getting out of hand. I think we can all see that she has some major growing up to do but following her around the internet bitching her out isn’t going to help her. She needs to have somewhere to go for support during her pregnancy because clearly she’s not getting support at home. I know you all don’t agree with what she’s said on DS (I know I don’t) and what her spin on things on the other board is now but come on now she’s a nineteen year old girl. Let her grow up on her own, once she has her babe we all know her outlook on everything is going to change. I can’t help but see this as a bunch of 30 y/o women picking on a kid and that just doesn’t sit right with me.

  173. Messy says:

    Ya know, I was in college when I had dd#2. Then I was in college at the end of a degree when I had ds#8! Yeah, 7 other kids, 6 homeschooling, in school full time, and super high risk pregnancy. I had some advice for her but it is not like she wanted it, so why bother…

  174. magpiedpiper says:

    And man, sometimes you have to do what is best for your KID not yourself. I was signed up to take 19 hours of classes at a private college when we found out that the kid we supposedly couldn’t have naturally was in mah bellah. We hadn’t been that worried about it yet since we’re young. But you can bet your butt I changed those plans and I haven’t regretted it at all.

    And at 18, is practicing natural family planning really a great idea? I mean, apparently it wasn’t for Tessa anyway…

  175. werd says:

    seriously – NEWSFLASH. You are not the first “woman” to get knocked up accidentally whilst in college. Pull your big ego-filled head out of your butt and LISTEN. Clearly your parents aren’t going to be any help to you in that department, as you have stated on numerous occasions that they are abusive/mentally ill/etc. YOU asked for some advice, and this isn’t high school. We aren’t going to sugar-coat it for your fragile little teenaged ego!

    Being a pregnant teen sucks. And being a young mom can tend to have its times of suckiness too. But for the love of god, PUT YOUR CHILD ABOVE YOURSELF!! That is what a GOOD parent does. Forget what you “saw on A Baby Story” or read in What to Expect. You have NO idea what is about to happen here. School is NOT a friggen priority anymore. You screwed someone, YOU got pregnant, THEY helped, both of you grow up, get a crappy Mc D’s job and support your new family!

    Hell, being a young knocked up unwed mother, that’s my family’s friggen legacy on my dad’s side, I’m just keeping the dream alive here!

  176. altaem says:

    Perpetual lurker here…mostly b/c I think you guys say what needs to be said and I sit behind my computer and nod, smile and laugh.

    Thank you for outing her on pregnancy.org – she is a train wreck and really needs some help. Too bad she wasn’t willing to accept any from us militant DS mamas…

  177. werd says:

    we aren’t picking on her. She needs to learn that she can’t run her mouth, and then split. The internet makes a log of every little thing you do. I would hate to see these pregnant ladies feed into her bullshit there. She is a troll. BTDT on a pregnancy board, not fun.

  178. werd says:

    and with that, I need to take a shower and go to bed. My butt nerve is killing me, I think its pinched.

    Happy drama.

  179. Messy says:

    #177 I can see your point. However, when you read what she has written and how she justifies even the worst of ideas, do you not have any concerns about her taking on the responsibility of another life? Not a dog. A baby that will cry and demand her attention and change her life forever.
    If it were just the silly things she says about school and such, it would not be so important. This is someone planning to leave her baby with a woman that is abusive and unstable. She has unrealistic ideas when it comes to what her life will be like.
    Honestly, I do not want to read about her in the national news for something unthinkable. I want to see her succeed and pull herself out of the historic cycle of her family. She can do it; but not if she is not given a healthy dose of reality and pays attention to the help she is given rather than pull the victim card and shut out all the advice. Make sense?

  180. magpiedpiper says:

    177…you’re right. I for one think all she’ll do is spin this anyway, and still not listen.

    I do really hope she has SOMEONE in real life who will tell her straight up what she needs to do. I guess I don’t really feel like she needs to change for her sake, because only she can really push herself to do that, you know? But when I think about that poor baby being left with a woman like that, it makes me so afraid it will end up on the news. I think that’s what has made me kind of gung-ho about it. If she took away ONE thing from all this, I just wish it would be to really, really think about whether or not her mother is fit to be the caretaker for her child.

  181. Messy says:

    #183 Sowwy Werd! I hope the shower helps.

  182. screenname says:

    185 – Couldn’t have said it better myself.

  183. screenname says:

    Werd – Do you see a chiro? It can be a godsend during pregnancy. And many chiros are covered under insurance now.

  184. TaraC says:

    #184 – Well said Messy.

  185. magpiedpiper says:

    Messy, right on.

  186. werd says:

    188 no, I’m skerred! When I was in the hospital once for a neck injury, my ER Dr. told me his chriopractor broke his neck – and then suggested I see one for my neck/migraines. It totally scared me.

    I can’t seem to get the damn nerve out. I tried stretching and stuff and its just so uncomfortable, I dunno if its the way the baby is sitting or what. Hurts to walk too.

  187. DSDM2 says:

    There are chiros who can help without “Cracking” aggressively. http://www.acnb.org/locator/index.php is a good start.

  188. magpiedpiper says:

    Werd, I think you need a butt massage…

  189. Messy says:

    When I was 18 I dated a chiro… Niiice stuff πŸ˜‰

  190. Sharpie says:

    I agree with you that leaving her baby with her mother is not a good idea however she clearly is not hearing you all now and by going onto another board and calling her out you’ve basically closed the door for other people to try and get through to her. KWIM

    Like I said before her whole perspective will change once she has that baby and I think dollars to donuts she’s going to try and do the best for that child. I know having my DD sure turned my world upside-down and people whom I though I would be comfortable with watching my daughter before I had her rarely even see her supervised now. She’s a selfish little 19 y/o girl, but that is only going to last a few more months.

    Everything right now is hypothetical as to what is going to happen to her and her baby once she has it, but one thing that’s for sure is that she’s clearly stressed out by being attacked and that is not good for her baby. I understand you are worried about the baby once it’s out but I’m also concerned for it while it’s still in. Let her get the support and love she’s so clearly lacking IRL, having a stressed out and broken mom isn’t going to help that baby. My babe is waking up talk to you tomorrow mamas

  191. Messy says:

    Ok, point taken. However, do you think the mamas on pregnancy.org want to be taken for a ride that they didn’t even buy a ticket for? Do you think they they would want to support her, thus helping her believe that the situations she is planning to put her baby in is ok? Would they rather have all the info and then choose how to support her on their own board?
    Blindly supporting someone who is planning the things she is, is dangerous.

  192. screenname says:

    Use a chiro that uses the activator technique. It’s a little pen shaped device that gently adjusts. IMO it’s a little more gentle than traditional adjustments. My chiro specializes in pregnancy/children. She rocks my socks.

  193. theinvisible says:

    177
    I totally agree. At this point nothing is going to change her mind except actually becoming a mother. Chasing her around giving her the smackdown is a bit bullyish when she is pregnant and emotionally iffy. She’s already shown she’s not really interested in taking advice and I doubt being forceful with her is going to soften her stance.

  194. Sharpie says:

    Messy – First off Good Morning!

    I don’t really think Tessa is going to be taking anyone for a ride she’s shown an inability to censor herself and I don’t think that is going to change on that board. Even if those mamas didn’t know the things she said about the military and nurses I’m pretty sure they aren’t going to support her leaving her child with someone unstable.

  195. Sharpie says:

    I guess what I just wrote was a moot point anyway seeing as how the moms on PDO saw things kind of like how I did.

  196. werd says:

    hmmm… I may have to look into going to a chiro. My butt still hurts today 😦 It’s making my legs numb.

  197. Bloggitybloggity says:

    Werd, that is NOT good 😦 How far along are you?

  198. werd says:

    about 19 weeks 😦 it sucks

  199. amessymama says:

    werd, you should definitely look up a chiro that used the Activator Technique that screenname mentioned.

    I was always squicked out at the thought of my neck being manipulated. My chiro uses the activator thingy. It is awesome.

    Here’s a link:
    http://www.activator.com/actMethods.asp

  200. werd says:

    I found one in Syracuse, its like 2 hours away

    so what do they do exactly?

  201. Bloggitybloggity says:

    Werd, you poor thing!!! You still have so far to go. You NEED to see a Chiro, for sure. Or something… Do you have a maternity belt?

    I had pelvic symphasis (Sp? Hell I’m too lazy to google it πŸ˜› ) with my last pregnancy, and I was miserable forEVER. I never thought that a stupid belly belt would have helped, but finally one of my Midwives prescribed one for me. OMG– major relief. I’m not sure if it would help with a pinched nerve, but it’s worth a shot until you can get into a Chiro.

  202. theinvisible says:

    206 Me, too. Misery. I was thinking that when werd was describing her pain but I don’t want to jinx anyone. That shit hurts. I was still sore 4 months after I had her.

  203. werd says:

    I’ve totally thought about a belt. I’m having freakin contractions on and off too. Started this afternoon. I looked up that symphysis stuff, crap that sounds like me. I have a wicked hard time with stairs and getting in the car (we have a Jeep).

    I really hope I don’t end up in L&D tonight 😦

  204. adensmama says:

    I went to my chiropractor all through my pregnancy, he is awesome! He has a more uh..firm technique lol. But that’s what I’m used to and I love it. It’s important to go after the birth too (well, it doesn’t have to be RIGHT after lol) but your hips and joints will go back into place after being loosened up during pregnancy, and you don’t want them to settle back into the wrong place, kwim?

  205. diudiaole says:

    I wish I had insurance that covered a chiro — and the bones cracking etc feels sooo good — don’t be scared, werd πŸ™‚ Except for the neck part it really feels akin to a vigorous massage.

  206. adensmama says:

    The neck part IS kinda scary. You just have to really relax and let the dude do his job πŸ˜‰ I’ve been going since I was 15 and I still get kind of tense and have to tell myself to calm the F down. Haven’t had my neck broken yet though!

  207. screenname says:

    Do you have an active LLL group near you werd? They usually have the 411 on pregnancy friendly chiros.

  208. Messy says:

    Werd, BFF, and ya’all; I just found facebook!!! Yeah. That. LOL.

  209. Messy says:

    (((Werd))) I hope all is going ok tonight! I had severe round ligiment pain in my inner legs while preg the last time. Couple that with the preterm labor from 13 weeks on, and it was a real walk in Satan’s fucked up park of horror πŸ˜› I feel (have felt) your pain!!!

  210. BokehLove says:

    This chick irritates the hell out of me. I commented on her military BS. She’s stupid and young an has an excuse for EVERY suggestion you give her. W/E.

  211. Thud says:

    Werd~ it may be SPD (symphysis pubis disorder) ~ starts out like you rode your bike too long (or got kicked in the you know where) and may extend down the inner thighs. Stair walking and rolling over etc. become difficult.
    #1 Keep your knees together (I know,. I know, that is how you got into this…) but seriously, roll over with them held together. Do signle stair steps, not normal walking up.

    The ligament that holds the pelvis together gets loosened and throws out hips and pelvis. A chiro can help keep it all aligned, but it will keep slipping once the lig/joints have loosened.
    It will not affect babe, or delivery, except you may need to plan to labour in ways that ease it (tub!).
    The trochiatric belts can really help hold things together.

    I had a severe case of spd started at 9 weeks of pg (usually late 3rd tri for 1st pg) as I had previous back injuries. Was crippled by 37 weeks and took me two years of healing, chiro and orthopedic therapy to recover and I still have a lot of pelvic pain~ like I said, an extreme case, many women have it and it is uncomfy but manage just fine with no long term effects with belt and delivery. Just keep those knees together and get a belt πŸ™‚

  212. eeek says:

    http://www.icpa4kids.org/locator/index.php

    This was how I found mine, by 16 weeks in my 2nd pg I was unable to move, mostly I sat in one spot on the couch as it didn’t hurt much to do that. Also I crawled. & slid down stairs on my butt, using my hands to move me.

    When I went to my chiro- she & her partner are also doulas, they’re so awesome and specialize in pg women- the relief was massive. I went 3x/week for a month, and gradually worked down to one every couple weeks. It made my life so much better, without her I would have been in a wheelchair very soon. With treatment I was merely not that comfortable, instead of being in excruciating pain every time I moved.

    My only regret was that I waited.

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