12-09-2008, 01:29 PM #1
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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Disppointed, trying to be thankul and creative, APOLOGY

I am leaving initial post #1 up but have added a copy (in bolded red) from later post describing the entire situation. Apparently I have offended a couple mama’s (by some of the pm’s that I have recieved)and that was not at all my intention. I know not everyone is going to agree with me but I really didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. I will not post again with explanation or defending myself. But again I apologize to those I offended
so for various reasons this year I had to put my pride aside and ask for help for christmas for DD. We haven’t done this before but its just been crazy financially. This have gotten even tougher in the past couple weeks since I have been missing work and in/out of the hospital.
back a few months ago I signed DD for a program and was told that she would get some things off the list I gave, a stocking and the family would get charlies laundry soap. I was told that I could not sign up for any help in my community and that they would be verifying this….so of course I didn’t(and I have heard wonderful things about some of the programs locally)
Well this woman emails me and tell me that she adopted DD and sent the package out. There was a coloring book, some crayons/markers/colored pencils, two sesame street books,a puzzle and an outfit (all the items except the outfit) are from the dollar store so they will fall apart within a day or two.
I then emailed the director of the program and inquired about the stocking/soap. She wrote me back and told me that families that got adopted by individuals would not be getting them( I don’t care about the soap)….this was after numerous posts that EVERY child would be getting a stocking.
Ok so I am bummed…I feel like if I would have know what this entailed I would have been better off signing us up locally. Its not that I am not gratful I am..just disappointed (please don’t bash me too much here)
She is all excited for Christmas morning to open her toy (I kinda thought there would be at least one in there since she is only three)..and we don’t have one.
SO…I need any creative mamas with some cheap/creative ideas to share them with me.

It was just the overall situation. I had to make a list of things DD needed/wanted and was interested in. I was told that she would get some stuff from her list and promised numerous times a stocking for her. I was able to check updates online about progress in the program. Registries were created for numerous stores and there was alot of talk about several corporations that donated both clothes and toys. So I wasn’t at all concerned…just thankful for some sort of help. Well when the package arrived it wasn’t anything from DD’s list. When I inquired about the stocking the director gave me a whole new story. There were families that were adopted by the foundation…those were the kids that got stuff off the registries, toys/clothes from the corporations and stockings. Then there were families that were adopted by an individual person. These recieved only what the adopted family sent to them and there was no guarantee that it was anything from the list. So that totally wasn’t the story I originally recieved and I found myself disappointed by the overall situation. Because of the info I had originally been given we talked to DD about opening a toy on Christmas morning and finding goodies in her stocking…..then I find out thats not the case at all.

Not the OP.  What is wrong with people? You can’t even complain about not getting what you expected without getting nasty PMs berating you. Yep, Merry Bitchmas to all.

  1. just me says:

    i read this and felt HORRIBLE for the mom. i couldn’t believe all the negative NASTY comments she got over this. it disgusted me!

  2. eeek says:

    Yeah. Honestly, why would you adopt a kid for one of those things, and not plan on actually giving them a TOY? Either take part in the thing or don’t, don’t half-ass a kid’s christmas because you can’t actually afford to do what you signed up for. My mom does those adopt a family things through a church, and she goes kind of insane, clothes & boots & toys & way overboard on name brands because she thinks kids all want some of that (& she’s kinda right). She wouldn’t sign up if buying stuff was a problem, she’d leave it for someone else who could afford it. No one MAKES someone “adopt” a family for Christmas.

    And being sad because you can’t afford anything for christmas, and your hope for getting that covered falls through- how could you be mean to that? Doesn’t everyone want their little one to have SOMETHING, if Christmas is part of their culture?

    Bitchmas indeed.

  3. Monkey says:

    I know, how can you possibly be mean to a mama for being disappointed for her child. It probably took a lot out of her to have to ask for help like that to then be horribly disappointed AND THEN have other mamas be nasty to you for being disappointed! I wish I lived in the U.S. so I could send this mama something!

    DH and I do these adopt a family things when we’re home and we always try to put in at least a couple of toys and a hat/mitten/gloves set along with some books/crayons. I mean, if you do this kind of thing don’t you figure a child wants a toy to open on Christmas? I also always put in a stocking even though it’s not required…

    I’m glad to see there were a few decent mamas who saw where she was coming from and wanted to help. Of course the thread is gone now.

  4. sara says:

    that is so sad poor mama put her pride on the line. So her little one could have a nice holiday.

  5. AshleyB says:

    Really, that SUCKS for everyone to belittle her over it. Honestly, I am just disgusted by it. I have some extra PP laying around…I’m going to PM her and see if there are any WAHM items she wants in the $10 range…and you know if everyone outraged wants, they can pitch even $2 in to help her LO get a Christmas present.

  6. Monkey says:

    Ashley, I was going to do the same thing. I was telling DH about it and he was so ticked! He said, “I’ve got some funds in my PP let’s send it to her.”

  7. Rika says:

    I adopt kids every year – it’s just something we’ve always done in my family. This year, our 2 picks wanted a tricycle and some dolls, so that’s exactly what they got, along with a new aloha shirt and an aloha dress.

    Amazon is having their usual holiday toy sales and I’m more than willing to send her something if she agrees to share her address. The Melissa and Doug easel is still $25 – that seems like a solid gift for a 3yo, no? (my baby is 8mo so I’m kinda clueless for another 2 years on what 3yo’s like :/)

  8. werd says:

    that is SO messed up. Of course the post POOF is gone. I can’t imagine being in that situation and having to suck it up and ask for help… and how disappointing for her LO. I am SO PMing her… poor mama 😦

  9. sassy1 says:

    I didn’t see the reponses, but I’ll tell you….one year we had help from a very wealthy local corperation who ran programs like this every year I was told. Well, 2 weeks beforehand we found out (by chance only) we had been dropped from the program because they felt others had bigger needs. We too were told not to enroll in any other programs or it would stop any help we were supposed to be getting. Yeah 2 weeks til xmas and no gifts for kids, I swore we would never use an org like that ever again.

    I feel SO bad for this mama. What exactly were the comments like since I missed it?

  10. Just Peachy says:

    You know I dont think people stopped to think that this was about her child and not about her. Since when is there something wrong with making sure your child has a decent Christmas?????

  11. sassy1 says:

    when its on DS and people have nothing fucking better to do than to be rude and mean and rag people out because their own life sucks. r (oh and they have it all figured out….and are righteous, etc.)

  12. Stacey says:

    I feel bad for her. Who wouldn’t be disappointed?

  13. blooskadoo says:

    i agree I adopted two kiddos this holiday season and i bought for them as if i was buying for my own kids i got them one of each thing on their list. i would feel awful if I gave stuff that was oging to fall apart if I could not afford to get nice things I would of backed out KWIM? Better to do that then ruin someones only chance at a gift for their child.

  14. AshleyB says:

    With the adopt a kid things…the person may not have realized that was the ONLY gifts the kid got. Like the Angel tree’s…how many times have you bought one or two toys off the angel, and not EVERYTHING…assuming the kids would get other help from the organization. And really, organizations should make sure things are fair for everyone.
    Side note: I offered the mama some PP, and she said thanks but others have already jumped in and offered, so her LO is fine for Christmas. Which is TOTALLY awesome, as she was awesome enough to say when she has enough instead of just doing the “gimmegimme” thing some people do, and she thanked me anyway! YAY decent mamas.

  15. Monkey says:

    Ashley that is super awesome! I am so glad everything worked out for the mama and her babe!

  16. What a Wanker says:

    cdmama22 was the *b* who posted to the thread with her nasty attitude. Firefox had the thread still open for me this morning when I logged in.

    She is now banned! She only had 4 posts though. I wonder who she REALLY was.

  17. werd says:

    POOF gone, motmeatall – RECAP!!

  18. Monkey says:

    Damn! That was fast. What was it notme?

  19. NotMeAtAll says:

    It was the “I did a trade and didn’t get DC and now it’s lost and it’s not my fault WAH WAH WAH I can’t pay the Mama back or my kids will starve and I can’t prove I bought postage becuase I lost the receipt cleaning up for our big holiday party. But my kids will starve I HOPE YOU PEOPLE ARE HAPPY”, thread. I did not get a screen shot.

  20. Monkey says:

    Wow. Sounds stellar.

  21. becka says:

    I was *extremely* cautious to express my disappointment when i had to use an org for my kids Christmas one yr. It’s way too common to have people that think you’re a horrible person for not thanking profusely for just anything you get when you can’t do it yourself, no matter how cruddy it is.

    Kinda like how some people think that donating expired foods for a food pantry or whatnot is ok cause they think “it’s better than nothing” (not exactly the same but one of my kids won a drawing for a food box for thanksgiving-not an income thing, just a thanksgiving thing. I pulled out something that i thought would go great with dinner, noticed it was dusty so i was wiping the dust off and looked at the dates….it had expired in June of 2003! Given for a food box in November 2008! Expired i will do to an extent, but 5yrs is ridiculous!)

  22. DSDM2 says:

    Not me, send it over please 🙂

  23. NotMeAtAll says:

    DSDM2 I did not get a screen shot but I think Peach did.

  24. DSDM2 says:

    Just send it over whoever has it please 🙂 If you have a c&p I would like that too 😉

  25. *~Me~* says:

    I feel terrible for that mama too. Makes me want to send her DD a toy.

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