Teen Pregnancy http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=481008

Yesterday, 08:26 PM #1

AutumnRoseJewelryCo

Please DELETE for excessive flaming

Has anyone else seen The Secret Life of The American Teenager? [ABC family, 7CST on Tuesday nights] I have to say, I’ve cried both episodes.

Maybe its because I was in Amy’s position just a year ago. I don’t say much about it here, but YES, I’m a teen mom. My son was born just a month before my 17th birthday. Yes he was completely planned (unlike Amy’s baby in the show) and tried for, he was terribly wanted, but that doesn’t make much of a difference. I was there, I was sitting in class holding down puke. I was having Braxton Hicks after PE. I was there. I took the looks, I took the questions, I heard the rumors.

My heart breaks for this girl. Its just a show, but I feel like its made for me. Thats what it was like. Thats what I felt, the same things I went through.

Its amazing to watch.

I sometimes wish I could go back and relive my pregnancy and the early months after my sons birth. Its so depressing how fast the time goes by.

Maybe thats why my heart is breaking, I’m wishing I was there with Amy.

Here is a link to my favorite trailer. It brings tears to my eyes.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=rxSlF92uE6g

Yesterday, 09:55 PM #24

skylersmommy06


Re: Teen pregnancy

Okay, I must be the only teen mama in here that is watching and finding this show ridiculous. This is exactly in my opinion where the stupid stereotype comes from. Maybe I’m alone in this but I find the show to be full of unrealistic drama, and immature kids. I found out I was pregnant and had about 30 seconds to grow up and pretending it isn’t real and hiding it from people, to me is appalling.

Of course that is just my

Yesterday, 10:02 PM #27

skylersmommy06

Re: Teen pregnancy

JDT I totally agree with you, being a “proud teen mom” to me is pretty much advocating it. My kids were both “oops'” (I was on the depo with ds and nuva ring with dd) and are the best things in my life, but for a 16 year old to be proud of being a teen parent, as a teen parent I still completely agree it is nothing to be proud of or advocate, it is a long, extremely hard road and nothing I would ever wish on anyone.

Yesterday, 10:08 PM #32

naivete

Re: Teen pregnancy

Being a ‘proud teen mom’ does not mean you are promoting, encouraging or glamorizing teen pregnancy, nor does it mean you’re asking for bonus points for being young. It means you won’t let judgemental and ignorant people beat you down for your choices. It means you’ll prove them wrong, it means you’re not ashamed, it means you will be proud of your family despite constant judgement that you shouldn’t have one, it means that you will not let your age define you, in the face of so many people who try to force you to. It’s standing up for yourself, your choices and your family, in the face of people who really don’t have any business in yours.

I am a younger mother, as well, by the way. I still had the added benefits of being a legal adult at 18 and out of school, but still young.

And it wasn’t just hard because of my age, it was hard mainly because of ignorant people who thought they had any right to step in and tell me it wasn’t a good idea, as if they had any right to a say in my life.

I can think of many people who had children in less then steller circumstances. Poor, thrifty mamas, mamas who already had many children, mamas who were divorced or divorcing.. do you go to them and demand that they explain their choices to you, or explain to them how poor their choices were or say they’re asking for bonus points for being proud of raising their family?

Yesterday, 10:27 PM #41

AutumnRoseJewelryCo

Re: Teen pregnancy

Naivete, Thank you. I’m afraid this thread is going in the wrong direction. Some of the things said here are the exact same reasons that I don’t bring up my age very often.

I’m PROUD. That sure as hell doesn’t indicate that I tell other teens to have babies. The EXACT opposite. I have GIRLS come to me all the time asking if I think they are pregnant based on symptoms, what they should do, etc. I try my hardest to turn them away from it [trying to have babies]. I can’t say I was any different when I was in that position. I can’t say I had all the same questions and feelings- but I THOUGHT I knew everything. I was ready for a family and still today- I couldn’t see myself starting my family any differently. I’m a normal parent. I have days when I am run-down and just tired of being up all night- but that DOES NOT make me a bad mother! I know the obstacles and consequences of my decision. BELIEVE ME, I live them everyday. But I NEVER have and NEVER will look at my child and wish I would have changed it. I KNOW he is a blessing and I know I sometimes have it hard. But that doesn’t change my mind on where I stand on teen pregnancy. There are some girls who can start out young and do fine even if they totally planned their pregnancies. I consider myself one of them- [I’ll be starting nursing school at Vanderbilt in a few months] but there are also the girls that give me and my child a NEGATIVE reputation. The ones you see on Maury, who sleep with 15 guys trying to get pregnant… [another rant].

I’ve been looked down on. I’ve been told I am trash and that I only did this to get welfare, I just did this to get attention/someone to love me/ laid, but none of it is true. I am not trash- I work part-time to stay OFF of welfare, I have a wonderful fiance who supports me through everything, I am not the girl who wanted a doll to play with.

I’m a mother, just go ahead and take the prefix OUT of it. I’m a MOTHER. I do just that, I MOTHER.

I really was moved by this story when I first read it.

http://www.girl-mom.com/node/34

The first episode is a little wimpy, the second is a little more true to life.

Yesterday, 10:50 PM #53

bean3

Re: Teen pregnancy

Be a proud mother, not a proud teen mother. If your being a teen doesn’t affect your mothering, then just say you are a proud mother.

My take on it? Society is not sending the right message.

I talk extensively with my kids about the path of their lives. You are NOT the same person at 15 that you are at 20, and likewise at 25. Part of being a good parent is developing yourself so you can give of yourself.

To me, there is a reason why you cannot drive until a certain age or drink until you are 21 (at least here). It takes time and life experiences to develop who you are and your ability to make sound decisions.

If my kids choose to make adult decisions like having a baby, they are going to have to take care of the adult responsibilities that come with it. I don’t see why people intentionally do this with their lives. Yes, I judge. I’ve lived it (at least the part of taking care of my sister’s daughter). I’m proud of any mother who does right by their child and creates a good life for their child, but I fail to see how intentional teen pregnancy is stepping off on the right foot. For that matter, I want to throttle the parents who aren’t explaining consequences of actions to their children. And I mean any actions. Life is a series of choices. Choose wisely.

Yesterday, 11:22 PM #65

rlsadc

Re: Teen pregnancy

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaeghanAlyson View Post

Its okay. I WAS NOT headed down a good road. Drugs, alcohol, random men, severe clinical depression, cutting, attempted suicide. EVERYTHING. Alyson made me a better person and now I have something to live for.

OO yeah and check out that link I posted. You could read through there and see alot. lol

i realise that having a child may give you something to live for…but you dont really think that a child was the best resolve for the situation, do you? im thinking that bringing a child into that situation would be worse than seeking help from somewhere outside. dont get me wrong, i dont know the whole situation obviously, but i really dont get how a suicidal abused teen could raise a child. maybe im being closed minded here? enlighten me…

Today, 07:35 AM #84

AutumnRoseJewelryCo

Re: Teen pregnancy

Quote:

Originally Posted by JDT View Post

And more commonly prisoners and kids who end up in foster care and the homeless and more teen parents and people who unnecessarily burden our social systems.

My mom was a foster mom for YEARS. God bless you if you’re a good mom. I mean that from the bottom of my heart! But come on – you really can’t expect people to be excited that you’re an “uncommon” 16 or 17 year old. In fact IMHO some of the thoughts are quite common and teen like. Like thinking a child is a good idea when you’re barely old enough to work legally.

I COULD drive my car with my feet – that doens’t make it a good idea.

That’s great for you, but what about that poor baby. People are having children to “save their lives”. How is that fair to the child?

Because you’re here and care enough to even have this discussion tells me that you’re no slouch. But I have a question – don’t you want to give your baby the best life that you can? Don’t you want to be the best you that you can be for your child? I know I sure do. I just don’t get how that happens when you’re 16 (or 17 or 18 for that matter).

I’m not talking about having 200 cable channels and an xbox. I’m talking a stable home life, parents that are not too stressed out, a good stable home/family life. I’m talking clean safe schools, good healthy food on the table, parent’s who are not going crazy trying to figure out how to continue to provide all of those things. How about easily accessable and affordable healthcare, good transportation to take your baby here and there, the ability to earn a living wage and have a meaningful career if you choose.

Arent those things just the basics?

Ok, i’m stepping down from my soap box. I just feel so passionately about NOT glamorizing or even normalizing teen parenthood.

Does it make you feel good about your self to put others down? Lord have mercy on your hateful words. MY GOODNESS!

My child has a COMPLETELY stable home life! A nice clean school to go to when he is old enough- a nice pre-school before that, He has homegrown organic veggies in his tummy EVERYDAY, He has two amazingly loving and committed parents, WE HAVE HARD TIMES, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! But we get through it, better than lots of parents who just give up! My son & I both have health insurance and haven’t missed an appointment. I PAY MY COPAY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! We have a perfectly fine income- we don’t live in a mansion mind you, but we aren’t behind on the bills. I have a great car- great transportation when we go places. A CAR THAT IS PAID OFF! Which is way more important to me than having a fancy car. Its not like I’m working at a fast food restaurant. I work as a receptionist and I make plenty to support myself and my son- and with DF’s job- we more than just get by. I graduated High school 17th in my class, out of a class of more than 600. I have an honors diploma and I’ll be starting college at a very prestigious university in just a couple months with more than half of my tuition paid with academic scholarships. I plan on getting a nursing degree and going on to be a midwife- like my mother, which is my passion in life. But I have to say that no career could EVER be as meaningful as the job I have right now.

BEING A MOTHER.

I love my child and I’ll continue to provide for him despite whatever criticisms people dish out to us. I’m no different than any other mother in heart, just in age.

Today, 07:45 AM #87

kiwi87

Re: Teen pregnancy

Quote:

Originally Posted by AutumnRoseJewelryCo View Post

Does it make you feel good about your self to put others down? Lord have mercy on your hateful words. MY GOODNESS!

No one was trying to put you down. People are just trying to point out that teen pregnancy is not an ideal situation, and even you agreed with that in a previous post, did you not? That’s all people are trying to say, and no one is putting you down personally.

Also, remember that not all teen mothers have it as good as you do. It sounds like you have done well for yourself, and that’s awesome! But, this is not the case for a lot of teen parents, in fact statistically speaking you are in the minority.

Today, 11:25 AM #109

kaspears17

Re: Teen pregnancy

You know, I don’t watch the show. I don’t plan on watching the show. I don’t feel that I sould have to “sympathize” with a child whose decisions are about to make her a mother. Planned or not, the child made the decision to have sex, so she knew the possibility of pregancy existed. My 9 year old knows you get pregnant from sex, so I don’t believe kids don’t know sex causes babies. IMHO, Children should be enjoying their childhood, not planning, having or raising babies, that they have the rest of their lives to have and raise. I had my oldest at 20. I wish now, at 30, that I would have enjoyed being a teen and a young adult. I think that there’s a lot of stuff I missed out on because I decided to have a baby. I think I am a better mother now that I’m older than I was at 20. Would I give up my baby for any reason, NO, absolutely not. Do I regret having him? No, absolutely not. He’s one of the best things that happened to me. I don’t think most teens are mature enough to handle all the stuff that comes with being a responsible parent. I dont’ agree with teens having babies, planned or not, I don’t judge them, I hope they can be great mom’s just like anyother mom. I just don’t think I need to sympathize with them or “understand what they are going through.” being a teen can suck, your decisions are hard, this is just one more decision a teen makes and has to live with. Just like being a parent is hard, and you have to live with the decisions you make as a parent. Flame on.

Today, 12:16 PM #119

Vunderschnogen

Re: Teen pregnancy

Quote:

Originally Posted by naivete View Post

Being a ‘proud teen mom’ does not mean you are promoting, encouraging or glamorizing teen pregnancy, nor does it mean you’re asking for bonus points for being young. It means you won’t let judgemental and ignorant people beat you down for your choices. It means you’ll prove them wrong, it means you’re not ashamed, it means you will be proud of your family despite constant judgement that you shouldn’t have one, it means that you will not let your age define you, in the face of so many people who try to force you to. It’s standing up for yourself, your choices and your family, in the face of people who really don’t have any business in yours.

The very definition of proud is satisfaction over something honorable. What part of “proud teen mom” is honorable? Is being a teen honorable? I’m sure some would argue it but the mom part is definitely honorable. It’s a tough position no matter what age. The reality also is that the majority won’t prove anyone wrong. If they get a high school education, it’ll be later in life. Most won’t go to college until then either. They’ll live hand to mouth making ends meet. If the kid is up sick all night long, they’ll still have to get up and go to work because they can’t afford to miss a minute at work. To me, all of that is honorable. Trying to overcome adversity is honorable. Trying to get credit for putting out…not so much.

Today, 12:35 PM #122

kiwi87

Re: Teen pregnancy

I don’t understand why the young mothers on this board are getting so offended by everyone’s comments. It’s very irritating to me. I am a young mother, and was at one point a teen mom, but I am not offended in the least. Would you recommend teen pregnancy to your peers? Or better yet, your children? I would certainly hope not. All of us who have been through it KNOW, or should know, first hand that it is not an ideal situation.

The statistics are there, the FACTS are there, and the common sense is there. Teens are not meant to be parents. They are not yet adults… their brains aren’t finished developing, their values aren’t programmed yet, and they are still very naive in their thinking. There is a lack of life experiences that are crucial, in my opinion, in becoming a parent. Also, maybe not all, but MOST are not able to PROVIDE for their child. I don’t care if some of you on this board are financially able to raise 1 or 5 kids at the age of 18… kuddos to you, I’m glad you are able to make it work. But we all know that it is not the norm, and that you are rare.

Now… I myself had my daughter at 19, as I said before. Am I proud of it? Heck no. She is a blessing, of course, and I love her tremendously. I would not undo her. The fact that I had her at 19 is not something that I’m ashamed of, but it isn’t something that I can say that I’m proud of. It wasn’t a smart choice on my part, and being able to admit it is important, because I don’t want my daughter to grow up thinking that it’s a smart choice. If she came to me at 16, 17, 18, 19 and told me that she was planning a pregnancy, my response would be something like… “WTF ARE YOU THINKING!?” Of course if it happened I would love and support her 100%, I wouldn’t turn my back on her. I would help her raise my grandchild, if those were the cards I was dealt with. But would I encourage it? No! And I’m sure you wouldn’t either.

My mom has been there for me, through and through. She is my hero, my rock, and has helped me so much financially, and emotionally through this whole process. If it weren’t for my mother, I honestly don’t know how I would have survived becoming a parent. I was not ready, I have grown a LOT since having my daughter, and I’m proud of the person I’ve become. But it doesn’t change the fact that I wasn’t ready. No teenager is ready.

Today, 01:07 PM #130

AutumnRoseJewelryCo

Re: Teen pregnancy

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vunderschnogen View Post

The very definition of proud is satisfaction over something honorable. What part of “proud teen mom” is honorable? Is being a teen honorable? I’m sure some would argue it but the mom part is definitely honorable. It’s a tough position no matter what age. The reality also is that the majority won’t prove anyone wrong. If they get a high school education, it’ll be later in life. Most won’t go to college until then either. They’ll live hand to mouth making ends meet. If the kid is up sick all night long, they’ll still have to get up and go to work because they can’t afford to miss a minute at work. To me, all of that is honorable. Trying to overcome adversity is honorable. Trying to get credit for putting out…not so much.

Trying to get credit for putting out? YUP! YOU GOT ME! Thats TOTALLY the reason I decided to have a baby. So I could run around & tell everyone that I put out! WTH?!

I am PROUD because I have overcome whatever problems I faced in the beginning of this. I went through not being able to see my DF for 4 months, [Parents orders] I went through having to find ways to make money to buy the baby things [I started making my nursing necklaces & sewn goods then] I got a job after he was born. I work 20 hours a week with him with me. I have money in the bank. I have to say I am doing PRETTY GOOD for a 17 year old with a baby. Thats what I’m proud of. I’m proud that I can sit up here and say I AM A TEEN MOM, and I AM BETTER than the standards you set for me when you judged me.

Thank you, I file a motion to have this thread deleted. Or at least closed. All I wanted to talk about was the show- Oh well.

Thanks all the same.

Now, who would have thought Teen Pregnancy was such a hot topic?? And now, the thread has been locked for review because of “excessive flaming” per the OP. Let’s see if it really gets deleted.

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Comments
  1. haha says:

    Okay WTF are teens doing TRYING to get pregnant.

    Second off the person that said kids need to know that sex leads to babies…Ask any girl (that’s having sex) and they will tell you it won’t happen to them. I was a teen mother (although I was 19) and I didn’t think it would happen to me.

    Third. WTF is she proud of being 16 and pregnant? I do give her huge kudos for continuing her education but that’s not how the majority of teen parents end up.

  2. icantwin says:

    I graduated high school 15 years ago and I don’t think that’s THAT long ago. When I was in high school, it was NOT cool to get pregnant. Not at all. You were considered a slut if you had sex. And I didn’t grow up in Bible-city USA. I graduated with 600 and live in a large city. I had a friend that had a baby about 2 months after we graduated and she hid it from all of our teachers. I remember being with her and the baby at the mall and we saw our PE teacher and he was shocked because she still participated in gym class and people just thought she had put on some weight.
    What happened in the past 15 or less years that this is a fun and cool thing to do? It boggles my mind. And these shows, even IF they show the hardships of parenting, only glamorize pregnancy. Heck, Jamie Lynn Spears got knocked up and Nickelodeon is having her come back to make more episodes of her show Zoey 101. I’m sure I’m in the minority here, but that’s not someone I want my child looking up to. While I think it’s great that she’s taking care of her responsibility, her reality isn’t the same as the normal teen Mom. She’ll have a nanny and she just bought her own house. I don’t think many 17 year olds could say that. I’m in my 30’s and don’t even own a house. That’s just reality. I know surprises happen, but to plan a child when you yourself are still a child and dependent on your parents is unbelievable. I don’t understand it at all. Where are these parents???

  3. mom3divas says:

    Why can’t we be “proud moms” not “proud teen moms”?
    BTW I’m not a teen mom. lol

  4. maree9304 says:

    Proud 21 year old mom, right here!

    That thread had me rolling my eyes right outta my head!

    And the OP is currently trying to conceive #2?! Crazy.

  5. toomuchtimewastedhere says:

    I worked with teen parents for 4 years. Yes, some of them TRIED to have babies, even at 13 and 14 years old. It was sad. Quite honestly, I wish I could take those girls to come live with me as *those particular* parents were unable to love their girls after they became pregnant. I felt so bad for them. Some of them were pregnant after rape, some after the old “it’s my first time and I won’t get pregnant” bit. Either way, I was there to support them and encourage them to continue with their lives as a teen mom and NOT get pregnant again until they were out of high school and financially more stable (or stable at all). They would all say they were proud moms, because often when you say you’re a teen mom you get weird looks and negative comments.

    I find it sad that in this day and age we are putting shows on TV about teen pregnancy and expecting THAT to educate our youth about the hardships of teen pregnancy and parenting. It’s ridiculous.

  6. you'llneverknow says:

    who cares if you are a teen or not!? why can’t they still be proud of their children? what mother isn’t proud of their babies? and if they aren’t then they shouldn’t have them. yeah, its not cool to have babies when you are still a young teenager, but if it happens then you deal with it and you’re gonna be proud of your baby none the less. jmo. and no, i’m not a teen mom either. lol

  7. subpariq says:

    #6 nobody said you can’t be proud of your children. They said that you should be proud of being a good mom in general. Age has nothing to do with it.
    What bothers me is seeing the op planned her first pregnancy att 16 and is now planning her second. To be perfectly honest, that is foolish and it is unfair to the children.

  8. haha says:

    I hate to say it but, will anyway. I think having a baby as a teenager on purpose is just wrong. Babies NEED both a mother and a father. Who really thinks that someone who planned to have a baby at 16 is able to care for their kids. I’m not saying that they won’t love them. I’m talking about financial aspects. Lets face it kids are expensive and at 16 you can’t provide that.

  9. The Bored Bitch says:

    Vunderschnogen is handing out moral advice?

    Seriously?

  10. The Bored Bitch says:

    Ill also say that Ive known teens who were far more responsible mothers than those Ive known in their 30’s etc.

    Its about the individual. Not the age.

  11. just me says:

    I was a teen mom in the fact I got pregnant at 18 and had my first at 19. I wasn’t offended in the least about this thread as kiwi and I share the same view on it.
    And tbh OP is stupid as they come. Who else but a dumb ass would have a second child before they are even 20??? I had both of mine around 20 and while I don’t regret it, I sure wish I had waited a little bit longer to have kids.

  12. Madre says:

    I’m a “teen” (onlyfor 3 more days) and a mom. I TTC my DD once I got married. I never categorize myself as a teen mom. The stigma is too much. Might I also add that I hate that Jamie lynn spears having her baby is all over the media. ugh.

  13. illrememberthisname says:

    my best friend is having her second..shes about 6 months preggo..def. not on DS..she just turned 20..they’ve been married for 3 years..i don’t think she is a dumbass..i think she is a loving mother..just saying..

  14. Nicki says:

    Heck, I had my first at 21 and STILL think I was much too young. I can’t imagine any earlier, but I suppose I can’t judge those who do.

  15. Christine says:

    I couldn’t read through all of that. But I did find the OP’s signature interesting:
    Autumn~Rose: Mommy to RHR3 born 08.28.07
    TTC #2

    WTF? So, she was 16 when she had her first in Aug 2007. That would make her 17 now and she is TTC #2? No mention of a DH or baby’s father in her signature. To be a proud teen mom who intentionally got pregnant and wants to do it again??? WTF, is up with girls these days. When I was in high school, way back in the early 90s (ha, ha) we were all praying we didn’t get knocked up.

  16. the genius says:

    wheres maeghan?

    psa…

    the conception of a child should not be used in place of an antidepressant and a good shrink.

    id say a good 90% of teens who say their pregnancies were planned are full of shit. its just another excuse. its just another way to justify their mistake. and im just being honest here…

  17. MajKitab says:

    Most of my peers forgot the infamous rhyme from our childhood.

    “1st comes love, 2nd comes marriage, then ______ with the baby carriage!”

    No judging here, but I am extremely proud of myself.
    Celebrating a 3 year marriage (for a total of 7 yrs together) and a 2nd Birthday in the next couple months. We love being young parents and are hoping for a new addition by the end of next year. I’m 22 BTW, so never a teen Mom.. Of course, 20 is as close as it comes without actually being one.

  18. becka says:

    16, 18, 20, 24….yep, that’s the ages i had my kids. the one at 18 was tried for (and the one at 24 though had stopped trying before conceiving her, haha!)
    Am not always the most financially stable (esp since me and their dad split-yes, they all have the same dad-shock, gasp!) but i’m a damn good mama and have been since my first (and no, not because i buy the diapers). all their needs are always provided for as are reasonable wants.
    teen does not = unable to care for her kids beyond what a lot of older mothers are willing to do for them even

  19. 3 boys mom says:

    What’s most interesting to me is that she’s got a child that is less than a year and a “fiance.” She’s proud now.

    I think it will be interesting to talk to her when she’s 35 and see how she feels looking back. Becasue the ideas that I had at 16 are 100% different than my thought/ideas now.

  20. The Bored Bitch says:

    I think the criticism of teen mothers is one of the nastiest battles in the Mommy War arsenal.

    The sense of entitlement that often accompanies the character assassination of these young mothers makes my heart hurt.

    *shakes head*

  21. subpariq says:

    TBB-I agree that criticizing teen moms simply for being teen moms is low. However, it shakes me to my core to see 16 year olds planning a pregnancy at that age. It is foolish and irresponsible. But it is understandable that at 16 one would not know better.
    It is true that a person can be more responsible at 16 than at 30. But the chances of the opposite being true are infinitely larger and almost a given.

  22. Justsaying says:

    When will people learn that anecdotal evidence (*I* am a teen and am a fantastic/average/shit mom, *x* is 43 and an amazing/eh/gutter mom) is not important in the face of statistic after statistic all pointing in the same direction? Kudos to any mom who is a good mom. But I see too much “Having a child was THE BEST THING that could’ve happened to me!” on that thread, and no mention of the best interests of the child.

  23. The Original Just Me says:

    I was watching that thread and just KNEW the op would be immature enough not to be able to handle it. Excessive flaming??? Ummm, I didn’t notice any excessive flaming. She just didn’t like that people were disagreeing with her.

    I agree that moms can be irresponsible at any age, however, most, NOT all, teen moms are still not as mature as adult moms. It’s just not the norm, no matter how offended some of the teen moms get. I have a sister who had a daughter young (16 yrs old) and was a fabulous mom for the first 6 months or so. Then all of a sudden she wanted to go back to the party scene and always said shit like “I have to live my life and have fun you know! I’m still young!” I guess she got sick of playing house :headscratch:

    No matter how mature you are as a teen, you are STILL growing!!! I am not the same person now that I was 10 yrs ago! Hell I’m not even the same person I was 5 yrs ago.

    I’ve wanted a child since I was 12!!!! But there was no way in hell that I thought it was the right thing to do for me or especially for my child. So I made sure that once I became sexually active (not at 12!), that protection was used every single time to prevent pregnancy.

  24. The Original Just Me says:

    I totally agree justsaying!!

  25. becka says:

    having a child young was the best thing that happened to me, sure…and i doubt any of my kids would say that it wasn’t in their best interest, cause if i didn’t then, then they wouldn’t be alive :oP

  26. maree9304 says:

    Yeah, but if they never existed, they wouldn’t know it! 😉

  27. just me says:

    And I should add neither one of my first 2 dds was planned. Just happy surprises.
    And I sort of wonder if OP is still living with mommy and daddy.

  28. maree9304 says:

    She did mention that when she was preggo with her first, her parents had forbid her from seeing the father.

  29. “The Bored Bitch Says: July 10, 2008 at 1:45 pm e

    I think the criticism of teen mothers is one of the nastiest battles in the Mommy War arsenal.

    The sense of entitlement that often accompanies the character assassination of these young mothers makes my heart hurt.

    *shakes head*”

    ITA. I couldn’t care less if the OP is 16, living with her parents, and planning her next child with her fiance. It’s interesting to see someone flaming away at her now, just because the thread made the blog. It didn’t make the blog because teen parents are bad or stupid or less capable, it made the blog because of the “excessive flaming” claimed.

  30. The Bored Bitch says:

    Lets face it, if you sneeze at DS you’ve just excessively flamed someone.

  31. DSDM2 says:

    “The Bored Bitch Says: July 10, 2008 at 6:16 pm e

    Lets face it, if you sneeze at DS you’ve just excessively flamed someone.”

    Yup. Sad isn’t it?

    ACHOO………….. 😉

  32. The Bored Bitch says:

    I emailed you guys. Did you get it?

  33. DSDM2 says:

    Nope, not me… TDM might have though. I am DSDramaMama2@hotmail.com

  34. DSDM2 says:

    OOPs, yeah I got it. Darn spam filter.

    Call me confuzzeled though… Maybe send me some more info?

  35. The Bored Bitch says:

    Will do.

  36. subpariq says:

    TDM (#29)-I find this really interesting. I’m a bleeding heart liberal. I have no problem with any social programs and fully encourage anyone that needs it to take advantage. But it really scares the hell out of me that 16 year olds are planning their pregnancies. They don’t have the means to support children. And by means, I am really not just talking financial. While one in 50 16 year olds might be equipped to be a mom, the other 49 are not. And BOTH children (because the mom is still a child) suffer for it. For me, it has nothing to do with mommy wars. It has everything to do with wanting what is best for children.

  37. subpariq: I tend to agree with you. However in THIS case, it doesn’t seem to be that way. I read the thread. I’ve seen her post. I’m not inclined to say she’s not mature enough to do whatever. Especially just based off of her signature. She may be 18 by the time her next baby is born and conceived. Is that 1 year going to make a big difference in her life? Possibly, possibly not. While I don’t advocate a 16 yr old TTC in high school, this young lady does not seem to be the typical “Maury-esque” girl, and I don’t flame teen moms. Nor will I advocate someone bashing her based off her signature (#15) or calling her crazy (#4).

  38. Faye says:

    I’m torn on teen pregnancy. I know a lot of great moms who became moms as teens, and a lot of crappy moms that became moms in their 20’s and 30’s. I was 19 when I had my son, so I guess I can be considered a teen mom, even though I was married and my husband and I were financially supporting ourselves.

    My main issue with girls TRYING to get pregnant before the age of 18 is the legal and social ramifications. Legally you can’t do much before 18, 21, and even some things before 25. Socially and economically you may not have even graduated from High School, or held a full time job (since you’d be in school.) The careers/jobs open to a non-high school graduate aren’t going to be high paying ones or ones that have much job advancement.

    The thing I’m the most surprised about is the amount of the teen moms who had one child at 16 (or 15 or whatever) and had another the following year.

  39. subpariq says:

    TDM-I don’t know what her signature says. But as far as maturity goes, I think screaming about being flamed to mods smacks of immaturity. I also think TTC in highschool is immature.
    One year won’t make a difference-except maybe that she would have had her highschool education and be in a better position to support the child.
    What does anyone mean by “flame” teen moms? Not being a bitch. But does stating your opinion even if it is offensive to someone flaming?

  40. subpariq says:

    TBB! No fair telling secrets in the corner! Do you have scoop that you’re not sharing?

  41. maree9304 says:

    I didn’t call her crazy. I meant that the situation was crazy. 16 year old TTC baby #1, now 17 and TTC#2, it’s a bit ‘wow’. I’m not saying she’s mentally unstable.

    I wonder if she does get pregnant, if she will be considered high risk. Teenagers are more likely to give birth prematurely than those over 20.

  42. The Original Just Me says:

    Subpariq ITA with you in post #36 and ESPECIALLY #39. The majority of the posters in the thread were not flaming the op at all. So because a few people flamed her situation and most of the people kindly disagreed with her, it becomes excessive flaming? Seriously, if it was that excessive, why even bother continuing to come back to the thread? It was so immature of her to say her long final piece and then say she was having the thread closed. Like she HAD to get the last word in. Also, she could have simply stop responding to the thread. She CHOSE to continue to respond and mostly responded to those people pushing her buttons, instead of commenting on anything else. She just seemed to be looking for drama IMO.

  43. subpariq says:

    Crazy is subjective and not neccessarily a permanant condition. An argument could be made that it is crazy to ttc your second child at 17 before you have finished school and before you are able to support yourself. I’m not saying that in a you’re a horrible person way. I’m saying it in a wow you need help kind of way.

  44. I don’t think she was flamed in the thread. I don’t think there was necessarily flaming here. I just stated this didn’t make the blog to flame teenage mothers. Make sense?

  45. maree9304 says:

    I think if anybody should have been flamed, it should have been that scammer chick who admitted to being crazy and having a kid to fix it. What if having a kid didn’t fix it and she ended up with post partum psychosis or something? Scary!

  46. maree9304 says:

    subpariq, our monsters look a like. I think they’re related.

  47. maree, ITA… but she deleted her posts before I could get to them… except for the one quoted.

  48. subpariq says:

    Gotcha TDM. I seem to be having a reading comprehension problem today.
    46-they aren’t related. Your monster wants to be just like mine.

  49. maree9304 says:

    ROFL good one!

  50. Always a lady says:

    I haven’t read this entire thread, but i must add:

    did anyone notice that she changed her introduction yesterday. Her intro used to say TTC#2. Now it says “TTC #2, but if we’re not pg this cycle DF and I are going to wait for a LONG time.” Check out her new intro. NOT her siggy. But her intro over in the introduction page.
    =============
    To me a real woman does what she wants reguardless of what other’s have to say about it.

    I could have 100 kids or none. People could shout from the rooftops or say nothing. It’s none of their freaking business!

  51. subpariq says:

    Always a lady. I’m still reeling fromt the horrible shit you wrote yesterday. It is clear that you don’t care what anyone else thinks. It is clear that you don’t care if you hurt innocent people or belittle personal tragedy. Go fuck off already.

  52. maree9304 says:

    To me a real woman does what she wants reguardless of what other’s have to say about it.

    So if someone says “Robbing a bank is not a good idea” and she says “I don’t care, I’m going to do it anyway!”, that’s what a real woman is to you?

  53. The Bored Bitch says:

    Is there a point to me posting anymore, SPQ?

    Jesus, Im just going to follow you around with the ‘yeah that’ banner.

  54. Justsaying says:

    What I mean, Becka, is that the stories all these people are presenting–about how a baby saved them or led them away from the bad place–don’t give any indication that they thought about how they’d be able to provide for a baby after he/she was born…saying “he/she saved my life” is very me me me….which is completely normal for a 16 year old, I guess, but not the best way to go into motherhood.
    I have a serious issue with young teenagers planning/trying to get pregnant.

  55. The Original Just Me says:

    ITA #54

  56. yestheyareallmine says:

    Meh, there are worse things.

  57. cassie says:

    i find i care less about girls getting pregnant at whatever age, and MORE about WHY they get pregnant.

    -they didn’t think/didn’t care about the ramifications of sex (sex causes babies, what? but i don’t LIKE condoms! i forget to take BCP’s WAAAAAAH)

    -they were trying to trap a man into a relationship

    -they were trying to have a kid to “save their life”

    -they want to have a baby because they don’t feel they have anyone who loves them and having a baby means there will always be someone there to love them…

    …i’ve seen these things happen in all kinds of women. teens, twenties, thirties, on and on. it’s less about age and more about personal character. and oh have i got TONS to say about the above mentioned reasons for bringing an innocent child into the world, but certainly, if they make a way to support the baby, who cares the age? most people can’t technically “afford” to have babies anyway, but dammit, we do it anyway! it’s all about making the circumstances you put yourself in work;)

  58. Always a lady says:

    #57 ITA

  59. The Original Just Me says:

    cassie
    but certainly, if they make a way to support the baby, who cares the age?

    Money isn’t the only factor that is important when having a child. You can be filthy stinkin’ rich but be immature and it wouldn’t be fair to the child if you had a baby. During teen years, most teens are not as mature as they claim to be.

  60. subpariq says:

    Cassie, the problem with what you said is that there is so much more to parenting to the financial aspect of it. We all know that. Teenagers are unlikely to have an education. More importantly, they are unlikely to have the maturity that usually comes with age. I think a really good example of the lack of maturity is the OP on ds screaming that she was being flamed and to delete the thread. I’m not saying she is a bad person. I’m just saying that is immature and she probably wouldn’t say the same thing in say five years.

  61. The Bored Bitch says:

    *I’m just saying that is immature and she probably wouldn’t say the same thing in say five years.*

    Oh, how I wish that were true.

    People know BGs has a no thread delete policy and yet, they still feel the need to whine for their threads to be deleted.

    Some people are just morons regardless of age.

  62. subpariq says:

    I know that some people will remain immature. But MOST people won’t.

  63. cassie says:

    oh i know there are many more aspects to parenting than just money, i absolutely agree. my bad for not including it. i do think, that as a teenager, you aren’t as mature as you otherwise would be as an adult, but i will say that i believe SOME teens, not MANY, and certainly not ALL, do display maturity enough to handle taking care of a child. are they as mature as they can possibly be? of course not! i’m not as mature as I could be, in my mid-twenties, just as my aunt isn’t as mature as she could be, in her mid-forties. no one’s maturity will ever be finished developing, so i can’t base my opinion on “she shouldn’t have kids now because she’s not as mature as she will be in five years”

    and as far as education, some teens DO have an education. my sister graduated high school when she was JUST over 17 years old. i graduated college at 19. would have been 18 but i chose to spread my credits out for monetary benefit. it’s not hard to get or finish one’s education, and those who are proactive and have the tools available to them also take it upon themselves to seek out a college education while still in high school. that’s what i and many of my closest friends did.

    i really think it’s more dependent on the individual person. i don’t think it should be GLAMORIZED or promoted AT ALL, simply because the majority is NOT capable of providing all the things a mother needs to be. also, if it is against your parents’ rules, and you live in their home, i also don’t agree with that, because it is disrespectful to them, as you ARE still a minor and THEY are responsible for YOUR actions, in essence.

    however, an emancipated minor, with an education and a maturity beyond her years, who, in my preference, is in a good marriage, i wouldn’t look down on her. i’d actually probably be a little impressed, to be totally honest.

    however, the OP screaming flaming, i will concur IS immature.

    then again, fully grown women do it every day on DS. it’s the cool thing to do there;)

  64. Jerinda says:

    I didn’t read all the comments on this post but I did read the whole thread and all of us that have grown up can realize why teens are still too young for such a decision. I remember being a teen and thinking of how big I was. I was wrong. I had my first son at 19 and while I love him tremendously and would never call him and accident, I was not ready. When I was 19, I sure as hell thought I was, but I was wrong. When you are a teenager, you are still immature, no matter how mature you think you are. All of us adults out there (especially ones who were teen parents) know what being a “grown up” really is, and when you’re a teen you just aren’t one. Arguing with teens about how irresponsible they are for getting pregnant is like arguing with a 6 year old about dinner…pointless.

  65. 3 boys mom says:

    I kind of feel sorry for her. She seems pretty lost to me.

  66. MissWorld says:

    Um, isn’t this MeghanAlyson, the same mama who has been having terrible issues with her DH stealing money out of her purse? Or whatever the “scam” issue is?

    Or am I missing something?

  67. MissWorld says:

    Ah nm, I misremembered the thread. The OP was the one yelling, Meghan was the one saying she planned her pregnancy earlier on before the rest of the drama went down. I tried to look it up, but Meghan deleted a bunch of her posts for some reason….

  68. BAM says:

    Now I don’t think planning on getting pregnant as a teen is a good idea. Parenthood isn’t always easy, and being young and having a baby makes you have to work twice as hard. BUT……

    I am a teen parent, not that I think I need to announce it. I was 15 when I got pregnant from my “high school sweetheart” and I had DS at 16. Firstly I will say I have NEVER recieved any kind of government assistance and I had to get emancipated so I could live and work on my own . We had to work our hands to the bone to make it work. I worked at a daycare during the day, where my son could stay with me, and my ex worked at a factory. Then I worked at a nursing home at night and my son dad watched him. Then after I passed my GED I went to college. It was never easy. I consider myself a great mother but I didn’t go and TTC again till DS was 6 and I got remarried, after my marriage to my first husband fell apart( he ran off and to become a drug addict.) Not all teen moms are horrible but not all teen moms are great either. I think teens need to think long and hard before they decide to have babies while they are still babies!!!!!

  69. cassie says:

    #68 i think that was very well said.

  70. Maeghan says:

    I had my first two weeks before my 18th birthday. I was a senior in high and yes I planned to get pregnant. At the time, it was the only way out of my bad home life. My dad kept me locked up and my mother was “crazy”. She had munchausen by proxy and was Borderline. She was VERY hard to deal with. Anyways, The only way I could get out and do anything was to sneak out. I was seriouly headed down a road of self destruction. I was doing bad in school and I was “hanging with the wrong crowd” I guess you could say. Anyways, Alyson changed my life for the better. Yeah, I worked my butt off to graduate high school before I had her. I got my diploma through correspondence school. I am going to college now and I was working until recently but am taking another job soon. It is really hard work but I wouldnt change it for the world. That being said, I would never encourage other teens to get pregnant. Like I said, ITS HARD WORK. And I missed out on alot of things. I wouldnt change it for the world. Alyson saved me from a life of self destruction.

  71. maree9304 says:

    Oh jeez…

  72. luvsmesomedrama!! says:

    That is just sick seriously. Why if you had such a horrible home life would you plan/try/get pregnant. Why would you want to bring a child into such an environment. I guess I dont understand… Enlighten me. How does having a baby get you out of a bad situation. Are we expecting baby’s daddy to rescue us?
    Sounds selfish to me.

  73. Maeghan says:

    No, It got me out of my dads house and away from my mother. I went and lived with my grandmother in a WAY more stable enviroment which is what I desperatly needed. No baby daddy to rescue me. I took care of myself.

  74. maree9304 says:

    Yeah no baby daddy to rescue you, you left that up to a child.

  75. you'llneverknow says:

    is anyone else tired of seeing this thread? lol

  76. yestheyareallmine says:

    Oh for crying out loud. Women of all ages get pg for all sorts of misguided reasons. That doesn’t mean the kids are doomed to a life of being irresponsibly parented. It doesn’t mean that the kids aren’t cared for and loved like they should be.

    If this is so upsetting to you what are you doing to help teens know the realities of being pg and having a kid before it happens? What are you doing to supporting them after they are pg or parents?

    You people need some perspective. Is the kid fed? Clothed? Have a safe home? Does the kid have someone to love them and play with them and meet their emotional and physical needs? If so, then who gives two shits how old the child’s mother is? This is a mommy war, and it sucks just like all the others.

    I know a mom who tattooed her 10 month old’s ass because she thought it was cute. I know a mom who had a meth lab in her child’s bedroom. I know a mom who abandoned her child at the hospital to go get a hit, when he was near death. I know a mom who was arrested because she was as high as a kite while driving and was carrying around drug paraphernalia in her daughter’s diaper bag. I know a mother who refused to even look at or name her baby and left her at the hospital as soon as she popped out. She then proceeded to tell the child’s social worker how much she hated the baby for making her fat. I know a mom who was so strung out for her entire pregnancy that she forgot to eat and gave birth to a malnourished, drug addicted baby who suffered brain damage because of mom’s choices. I know a mom who beat her 3 year old son to death. I know a mother who wouldn’t to feed her baby so that at a year old the baby was the size of a newborn. None of these mothers were teens.

    There are children being born into this world every day who have nobody that cares for them, or feeds them or loves them. And here “we” sit beating down a mother who presumably cares for her child because “we” deem her too young, or her choices wrong. Priorities people, priorities. If this is something that makes you feel passionate then do something productive about it. This isn’t it.

  77. I Like Truth says:

    Who cares? I mean, come on, there’s much more inportant things going on now a days than teen pregnancy.

  78. lysol says:

    I care! But it’s because I am the best mother EVAR. I know right from wrong, unlike all those disgusting teen moms. Since I’m the best mother EVAR, I am entitled to give you my self-righteous opinion.

  79. just me says:

    I wasn’t flaming her but I do think she is a moron:)

  80. Justsaying says:

    Yestheyareallmine, you know some effed up people.

  81. subpariq says:

    #76 I agree with you to the extent that people shouldn’t personally bash a mom if she seems to be a good mom just for her age. But, I don’t see anything mommywarish about having a discussion about teen pregnancy and motherhood. The topic is an unfortunate reality, much like the oher situations you mentioned. Also, when a mom comes on to a forum and tells everyone how she had a baby to save her life, she is opening up herself for criticism. Teen mom or not.
    I don’t know about anyone else, but my time is somewhat limited. I don’t have the ability to take action or get involved with every single thing or cause that I have an opinion about. That doesn’t mean I am engaging in mommy wars or being a bitch to express it.
    I also don’t see where anyone said that every single teen mom is a bad mom. I will stand by my opinion that most teen moms are not equipped to handle being a mom. That is not a personal attack on anyone. That is a fact of life.

  82. Nadjarea says:

    yestheyareallmine…I might not want to know all those people…I know those people too…but from watching cops not knowing people in real life.

  83. maree9304 says:

    I don’t think of myself as a perfect mother because I know that I’m far from it. I got pregnant in a less than ideal situation for some people. We were financially stable, but we weren’t married, didn’t own a home and I was 19 and not in college. I think teen moms can be great moms but I agree with subpariq that most teen moms are not equipped to handle being a mom.

    Then you throw in other factors like: “Drugs, alcohol, random men, severe clinical depression, cutting, attempted suicide” And that’s a quote from Maeghan (I’m probably butchering her name), sorry the last thing you should be doing is asking someone to get ya pregnant!

    Maybe I wouldn’t have such a problem with it if she believes what she did was wrong but nope, she sees nothing wrong with it. So the next time she’s depressed again or suicidal, what is she going to do? Get help? Get pregnant, again? What if her depression doesn’t go away, what if it gets worse? Will we have another Andrea Yates situation? There are so many things that could go wrong. The small, small chance that a child could fix everything is just not a chance that should be taken.

  84. The Original Just Me says:

    ita #81 & 83!!!

  85. Lyerin says:

    I got pregnant with DD at age 28. I worried that I was too young! I can’t imagine a planned pregnancy at 16.

  86. yestheyareallmine says:

    “yestheyareallmine…I might not want to know all those people…I know those people too…but from watching cops not knowing people in real life.” – Nadjarea

    I know these people because I took/take care of their children who were in state custody. Except one, who was a parent of a foster child a friend of mine had.

    So many children suffer horrific things at the hands of their parents. When one stops to consider what a really screwed up child hood entails the age of the parents alone is really low on the list.

    I would be willing to bet we all know someone who did something “mature” at a young age. Yet, those people are dismissed as unusual or lucky, and the people we know who made bad decisions at young ages set the stereotype.

    Subpariq: I really don’t think any woman is totally equipped for motherhood before her first child, regardless of age. Sure, there are certain abilities that come with maturity. Maturity comes from looking outside of yourself and caring about and for others, being flexible, rolling with the punches and learning from them. Maturity can come quickly for those who want it. There is no age minimum on maturity.

    Now, maybe this Meaghan (sp?) chick isn’t mature, and maybe she isn’t a great parent. But if that’s the case it’s not because of her age, it’s because she’s made choices to be immature and a bad parent. Age is an excuse.

  87. subpariq says:

    #86 I appreciate the points you are trying to make. But I think you are oversimplifying and overlooking some general truths. Like it is has been said a hundred times before, being 30 doesn’t mean you’re mature or equipped to be a mom.
    Age is not an excuse for immaturity. The teenage brain is not fully developed. It is not fully developed until around age 25. There are cognitive limitations of the teenage brain. Just like a 3 month old is not developed enough to walk. While teenagers can have moments of maturity, in general they are not mature and therefore in general not equipped to parent. I also think it is unfair to expect a teen to be mature and it is unfair to criticize teens for poor choices as they are not fully developed. I would agree that most women are not prepared for motherhood no matter the age. But I would argue that they are better equipped in most cases with full cognitive development, a minimal education, and experience that comes with age.
    I’m really not bashing on teen moms. I’m pointing out some general truths and biological facts.

  88. Justsaying says:

    But again….the issue is not anecdotal evidence is it? The facts, the statistics, the truths don’t lie, yestheyareallmine. I could spew it all out, but I’ll let the experts do it for me. And I know no one here needs these stats–but I fail to see how it’s bashing when it’s proven facts. http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/why-it-matters/default.aspx

  89. Maeghan says:

    You know, I’m not an idiot. I make sure my depression is under control for the sake of my kids. I am no good to them if I am depressed. My daughter got me out of a VERY unstable enviroment and saved me from going down the wrong path in life. I worked my booty off to provide for her though and I still graduated high school AND I graduated early. I’m still doing the best I can. Working and striving every day to give my girls the best. If that makes me a psycho shitty mother than so be it.

  90. Christine says:

    Maeghan,

    I think you are missing the point. Saving her mama is a tall order for a little baby. There are plenty of women who conceive babies for a selfish purpose: trap a man, fix a marriage, get mama out of a bad situation, get attention, feel loved, etc. But, the problem with that is that these babies are not asking to be born into these dysfunctional situations. A baby is a long term solution to a short term problem. And that fact that any woman thinks that it is okay to have a baby for one of the selfish reasons I mentioned, means that she is thinking more about herself than her baby. That is what concerns me.

    Teen mamas are not the only ones who do this, but can any teen mama who got pregnant on purpose truly say they didn’t do it for a selfish reason?

  91. subpariq says:

    Meaghan,
    Any mom can have problems with depression. That doesn’t make you a bad mom. I’m not saying your a bad mom.
    I think the point is that a person should never have a baby to get her out of a bad situation. Really, you shouldn’t have a baby if you’re in a bad situation. In a sense, this is using a baby. Like previous people have said, women of all ages do this. But I think teenagers, particularly, plan pregnancies with the thought that it will make some bad part of their lives better. I think, in the future, you should consider your motives for ttc and the environment that you are able to provide.
    What’s done is done for you. You have children. It sounds like you’re doing a really great job trying to raise them well and give them a stable environment. I really wish you well and I hope that you continue to enjoy your children.

  92. Rannensmom says:

    What’s worse…doing the right thing for the wrong reason, or doing the wrong thing for the right reason?

    Not to say that having a child for selfish reasons (and I have yet to hear of a reason that isn’t at least mildy selfish) is the right thing, but if it turns you into the person that child deserves what more can be said about it? Or rather, what good does it do to complain about it, or think you’re better than the other person?
    Whats more, there isn’t a statistic out there that can’t be manipulated to say what someone may want it to say. Don’t believe me? Go read “more sex is safer sex” So that’s not a fabulous arguement either.
    The bottom line is you can’t accurately judge someones character from behind a computer screen…if you could there wouldn’t be so many mommas being scammed, would there? So raise your hand if you think you know it all. Anyone?

  93. Rannensmom says:

    And I might add that it says something very depressing about our culture when we are more concerned with judging how someone chose to get out of such a God awful situation, regardless of how well it turned out in the end, than we are about being compassionate enough to wonder why those kinds of situations exist and how they can be irradicated

  94. Maeghan says:

    I totally understand where you are comeing from. THe fact is, I was selfish. I was only thinking about myself when I got pregnant. I needed someone to save me and the fact was I had no one else to save me. SO yes, It was selfish. In the long run, It was better for me. I would NEVER encourage a teenager to get pregnant. It is ALOT of work. I was willing to put that work into it though. IDK I always had a goal. Ever since I learned the truth about my mother. My goal was to NEVER turn into her. I want to be the mother that SHE never was. Which helps me put all my effort into my girls now. IDK, Special circumstance for me I guess. I knew what I had ahead of me when I got pregnant. I was forced to grow up fast. I am not denying it was a selfish decision bc it was, but in the end, it was the best decision I ever made.

  95. Maeghan says:

    “The bottom line is you can’t accurately judge someones character from behind a computer screen…if you could there wouldn’t be so many mommas being scammed, would there? So raise your hand if you think you know it all. Anyone?”

    That is an AWESOME statement Rannensmom!

  96. Rannensmom says:

    Thanks Maeghan 🙂

  97. yestheyareallmine says:

    “And I might add that it says something very depressing about our culture when we are more concerned with judging how someone chose to get out of such a God awful situation, regardless of how well it turned out in the end, than we are about being compassionate enough to wonder why those kinds of situations exist and how they can be irradicated”

    QFT

  98. Always a lady says:

    Just wanted to add an update. The teen girl who was trying to get pregnant was successful. She’s expecting baby #2 in April. I believe she’s not 17 (still unmarried).

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