Hi all, I want to share my story about how I could have been shot trying to BF my DD (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=479789)

hautemama925 07-07-2008 06:35 PM

Hi all, I want to share my story about how I could have been shot trying to BF my DD
Today was a bad day for everyone. I feel like I need to share my story for my own benefit and for others. It’s not a normal story and I’m not sure how to start it… We were simply just driving home from JoAnn Fabric (after we had spent part of the morning in the childrens play area at the mall and meandered around the stores for awhile). I didn’t notice right away that a police car was trying to pull our car as I was busily chatting with DH about my new dress I’m going to make for DD and also had the static on in the backseat to help DD fall asleep. I immediately put my blinker on and pulled over. From the start the blond woman Phoenix police officer in her late 20’s was quite rude, brash and acted very authoritative. She had told us our tags were expired and she was right so she asked for all of our information and we noticed that my wallet had gotten left behind (I was the driver). So I thought “crap!” and immediately knew this wasn’t going to go well. She ended up checking DH’s license and somehow she “found” that his license was “suspended” even though we had no idea how it could be since the last citation he had was over a year ago and it was taken care of. Two other police officers had shown up and she went back to talk with them. Meanwhile DD woke up from her nap hungry and ready to nurse. So since they had been sitting there awhile I though “well I can’t let her cry, she needs to BF” so I opened my door closed it and started to get in the backseat. They started screaming and grabbing at their guns! I said “My daughter woke up, is crying and I need to feed her. She’s breastfed. We don’t feed her any other way.” (calmly). And they kept screaming “Get back in your car!” and other things and I said “My baby, though.” and they said “…if you want to get shot, get back in your car!!! we can shoot you!!! They even said “Your baby can wait”. And I am afraid for my life! I had just got done telling DH I was afraid of getting arrested because of the situation and I couldn’t imagine not being able to feed our child or what we would have to do in that situation. I didn’t think about getting KILLED though. I was so afraid I had an anxiety attack and ended up hyperventilating. DH had opened his window and tried to speak with one of the other officers but I tried to pull him back in because who knows if they would shoot him too!!! The other lady officers tried to smooth things over but was kind of rude too. She said the baby can wait 5 minutes and that we were 5 minutes from home anyway so she would of still had to wait. She wouldn’t have had to wait because she would have been asleep, still, if we hadn’t gotten pulled over… DH asked her if we could bring the baby up front to nurse and she replied “If you can without getting out of your car” After, when the officers came back to my window, they told me TO GET OUT OF THE CAR! Why the heck would I? Just to look like I was trying to leave my car again so they could shoot me? What would that look like on a surveillance tape? I was so afraid, mamas. That was so unfair. They ended up taking my husband license because it was “suspended” and said neither of us could drive the vehicle home and said that they could take me in and fingerprint me (arrest me, pretty much). I didn’t take these women for being mothers and I think they knew what they were saying when they were saying these awful things. Yes, it’s true about the “regulations” but in the manner they did it seemed to be like a punch in the gut to a young mother with a 9 month old EBF baby. So this is the day I could have been shot trying to breastfeed my baby girl.

Extras: I’ve been pulled over before w/o a license (3 years ago) and I got a TICKET! Of course we’ll be more aware of our wallets from now on but this was too much. I’m also concerned about the issue of race. My husband is African American and we have been stared at, gawked at and even sneered at a few times in this area. Another thing that I wonder about is: Would they have treated us differently if my husband and I had our military ID’s on us? (they were at home in our wallet cubby).

I just really wanted to share this because it was SO awful. A woman being threatened with her life for just wanting to feed her child. I was so afraid for DH and my poor baby girl as well. What would they do if I were dead or in jail or in the hospital with a gun shot wound? The police are here to protect us but sometimes I feel like they are just as dangerous and menacing as the criminals out there.

How it ended: We sat in our car and called the nearest person we knew and got a ride home. I’ve been crying ever since. We are now still waiting for another friend to help pick up our car from the side of the road. With what just happened, how could I confidently go down there? They’re supposed to serve and protect and they almost shot a mother trying to feed her child… I did call one news station so far and he did say something about “regulations” and that he would call me back if someone was interested in the story… I just don’t know. I am so traumatized.

Since when did ignorance of the law garner sympathy from the general public?? Was this discrimination? Should the news pick up this story? Nurse in anyone? The possibilities are endless, but I wonder who would participate because SHE did something incredibly stupid and expected the police to pat her nicely on the ass.
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Comments
  1. riot says:

    Originally Posted by IndieBambino View Post
    This is a clear case of cops (as per usual, IME) acting like they’re God. Put a gun in someones hands and they lose all sense of being a PERSON and treating all people with respect. We should take a lesson from the Netherlands, they dont even put murderers behind bars, they send them to a sort of overnight camp style place, treat them with respect, give them chores and expect them to behave properly — and they do! Its amazing what treating someone with dignity will do.

    Sorry that happened mama, that would have made me so so so upste.
    That is an ignorant assumption of an entire profession.

    As for the rest…I’m not sure why that hasn’t been thought of in this country before. Millions in tax payer money could have been saved if Charles Manson, Ted Bundy, and Jeffery Dahmer had just gone to summer camp and scrubbed a few toilets. It’s genius!

    LMFAO!!!!

  2. I Like Truth says:

    Actually, I feel bad for her! I hope it does get news coverage!

  3. maree9304 says:

    LOL I laughed my ass off when I read that.

  4. maree9304 says:

    And I’m referring to Justine’s reply to IndieBambino

  5. maree9304 says:

    Maybe it will get coverage, on a really, really, really slow news day. Maybe someone can contact Barbara Walters and she can interview both her and Angie (mum2corbie).

  6. The Bored Bitch says:

    Wow.
    She is pulled over. The police tell her to stay in the car.
    She disobeys…yet she is somehow the victim here? Its okay because she breast feeds?

    Good to know.
    Next time Im inclined to break the law, Ill make sure Im nursing.
    Seems to be the ‘get out of jail free card’ of choice lately.

    I hope this does get publicity. After all, what the world really needs is another whacko breast feeding mother in an awkward situation to tell us how normal it is.
    Its embarrassing to anyone normal who advocates BFing to deal with the publicity of twats like this.

    No wallet, the cars not legal and her DH has a suspended license but she is the victim, right?

    No way.
    The only victim here is the child in the car while its parents fuck around with law enforcement.

    Put it into perspective.
    She wouldnt have been shot for BFing her kid.
    She would have been shot for disregarding the direct orders of the law enforcement on the scene. A situation that has the potential to kill cops if they are not super careful.

    I hope she gets her publicity because if she does, Ill be right there reminding the world that she does NOT reflect or speak for law abiding mothers who breast feed.

  7. Jennifer (ferrferr) says:

    Common sense. It’s not so common.

  8. Mamatutu says:

    Just because you are military does not mean YOU are above the law, and to answer her question, phx pd can’t STAND the AF guys so yes if you had, had your ID they probably would have hauled your ass in.

    1. You have no id on you
    2. expired tags
    3. husband has suspended license.

    who’s to say your baby wasn’t a cover for your AK-47?

    Don’t make BFing moms out to be better or above the law, I am actually offended twice over by the OP, being a BFing military spouse.

  9. illrememberthisname says:

    ditto to post #8

  10. toomuchtimewastedhere says:

    I love that I can use my boobs as a deflection for my wrongdoings. You know. Cuz I lactate. *roll eyes*

    Lactation is not a miraculous act and does not place you in a higher social class than others. They are boobies.

    That OP is an idiot.

  11. The Bored Bitch says:

    If breast feeding really were the issue at hand, dont you think abiding by the law would have been more advantageous to the child?

    The OP is in Maricopa Co. That is Sheriff Joe territory.

    Instead of whining like a rebellious, spoiled brat, she should be so grateful she isnt sitting in a tent city right now with her beautiful baby in foster care.

    Any way you look at this, it was wrong.
    Rather than blab about it anywhere she can for ass patting, I would encourage the OP to reconsider her priorities because from the outside looking in, her actions were about as irresponsible as they come.

  12. Stacey says:

    Back to our regularly scheduled program… name the scammer. http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?p=4092768&posted=1#post4092768

    Who knows who this is? Why are so many people getting scammed?!?!

  13. riot says:

    I think shes using BF as a cover to be viewed as a martyr in some twisted way.

    I’m wondering.. what if she was on the freeway & her daughter woke up to nurse – does she pull off on the shoulder? I think not. I think waiting till you’re in a safe area is what most, if not all women would do. Not on the side of the road while being pulled over.

    I seriously doubt she would have been treated any if she was an overweight middle aged mother, as apposed to being a weak, defenseless young mother with a spouse of another race.

    I would hope if I was driving with no license & expired tags I would get pulled over – shows the Cops are doing THEIR JOB!

    & I also agree with Jennifer (post #7). I would keep my butt planted in the seat & try to soothe the baby in other ways until the Cops come back.

  14. sara thats me. says:

    wow just wow! The smart runs strong with her.

  15. MajKitab says:

    Getting out of your car when pulled over is a BIG NO-NO! Duh!

  16. Faye says:

    If her husband is indeed military he’s gonna be in a load of trouble for having a suspended license. Not because the military is an evil machine, but because HE is breaking the rules. Kind of like the OP… the police aren’t in the wrong – you break the law expect to get in trouble regardless of what your profession is, where your child get its meals, or if you are in an interracial marriage.

  17. the genius says:

    yep yep. because getting shot in the head in front of your child isnt as bad as letting them cry a minute…wth. who in the right mind gets OUT of a car when theyre pulled over? people who like to be a pain in the ass…thats who.

    some people’s children…

  18. subpariq says:

    She’s an asswipe. What the fuck does being pale white have to do with being dangerous? I hate how she is trying to make this a breastfeeding issue instead of the I’m a dumbass that broke the law and then did something stupid to boot.

  19. not.an.asshat says:

    Who’d have thought that if you made a sudden move by getting out of your car that the police would draw their weapon..duh.
    They deal with criminals everyday, they do that to protect themselves. This isn’t about cops thinking their God, it’s about idiots who think having boobs puts them above the law.

  20. Madre says:

    subpariq- did you not know that those of us w/ pigment are all dangerous?

  21. DSDM2 says:

    Oh I love how this was not the first time she was pulled over without her license with her… I mean come on, no one in their right mind gets out of their car without asking. Seriously, all she needed to do was yell for the officer and ask “may I get in the back seat or can you hand me the baby please?”

    Ugh. Dumb asses galore this week.

  22. Kate says:

    elabela
    Registered Users

    Join Date: Jun 2008
    Location: Ontario
    Posts: 165
    My Mood:

    Re: I want to share my story about how I could have been shot trying to breastfeed DD
    holy martyr card… Why don’t you climb down off that cross OP, Jesus said you’re crowding him.

    Best comment on the thread. Thanks Elabela you rock!

  23. The Bored Bitch says:

    Why is it her business? ( a thread to keep an eye on-it smacks of stupid)

    http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/…d.php?t=480897

  24. Sarah says:

    I’m not touching this psuedo BF debate subject…but I’m curious as to why the mods are dropping like flies. It appears that msmamabear is no longer a mod, joining tararaboomdea and Shawnah as recent former mods. What gives?

  25. minimouth says:

    oh add manna00 to that list

  26. Sarah says:

    Wow, that’s a lot of mods to quit or be fired all at once. Drama Mamas…do some sleuthing and give us the scoop!!!

  27. Stacey says:

    Very interesting…

  28. MajKitab says:

    I just read the whole thread and have come to the conclusion that this chick is a complete fuckface.

  29. Nadjarea says:

    I didn’t read all of the replies. But really people. Do you know the kind of crazies out there? They weren’t going to shoot her for no reason. How do they know she’s not a psycho going for her gun? I’m serious. I have tons of cop friends and my dh is in the police academy. There are some cops who are jerks…and yeah, they shouldn’t be…but do you realize that the majority of the public that the police have to deal with ARE CRAZY!!!!!! and they put their lives on the line everyday………

  30. Nadjarea says:

    Bored Bitch, you rock.

    I’m so glad most of ya’ll have good common sense.

  31. The Original Just Me says:

    The Bored Bitch Says: July 8, 2008 at 10:29 pm

    Wow.
    She is pulled over. The police tell her to stay in the car.
    She disobeys…yet she is somehow the victim here? Its okay because she breast feeds?

    Good to know.
    Next time Im inclined to break the law, Ill make sure Im nursing.
    Seems to be the ‘get out of jail free card’ of choice lately.

    I hope this does get publicity. After all, what the world really needs is another whacko breast feeding mother in an awkward situation to tell us how normal it is.
    Its embarrassing to anyone normal who advocates BFing to deal with the publicity of twats like this.

    No wallet, the cars not legal and her DH has a suspended license but she is the victim, right?

    No way.
    The only victim here is the child in the car while its parents fuck around with law enforcement.

    Put it into perspective.
    She wouldnt have been shot for BFing her kid.
    She would have been shot for disregarding the direct orders of the law enforcement on the scene. A situation that has the potential to kill cops if they are not super careful.

    I hope she gets her publicity because if she does, Ill be right there reminding the world that she does NOT reflect or speak for law abiding mothers who breast feed.

    **********

    I agree with everything you said BB. I know that bfers get treated differently sometimes by ignorant people, but it seems like the op is trying to be a martyr. As I read in a previous thread “pull your head out of your fartbox” hautemama!

  32. justice says:

    Isn’t it lovely!
    Someone is oviously in the wrong (suspended license, not having the license on her bla bla bla) so that someone gets treaded according to law.
    Then, on top of being pissed off about something that could have been prevented by simply having her DL on her she goes down the “oh, this is all againts my african american husband” road.
    Gotta love if dump people are even dumber and are trying to pull the racism card… Bang head
    She should have gotten arrested and not just warned!!!

  33. cassie says:

    dude, i stopped when i got to the military ID’s part. whoever is in the military is wrong for not having their ID on them. military personnel are supposed to keep their identification on them at.all.times. period. and when a person of authority asks for a license or other form of identification, that person is supposed to submit not only the specific ID asked for, but ALSO the military ID. as per regs. the rest of it is just. meh.

  34. cassie says:

    oh yeah. i think she should be HAPPY they left their military id’s at home because otherwise, had those cops followed protocol, they would have alerted the command that one of their members was driving on a suspended license/without a license and they would have had their asses handed to them.

  35. nini02 says:

    Wow. Just wow. The absurdity continues….

    “Dear all posters,

    I have stopped reading everything past a few posts. I have gotten A LOT of support, love and understanding from DS and I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. It seems there are two sides of the fence with this as there is with any situation and it’s quite apparent from replies here and from input from dear friends in our town. We have sought out legal advice from a neutral party and have been encouraged to bring attention to the matter without falter or hesitation. By a legal stand point we have a case and are highly encouraged to pursue this. Hearing so many differing and even negative views I was a quite nervous about what a legal advisory would say but was quite relieved in the deepest to hear that we had to unnecessarily endure a terrible hardship. If I were told that there was nothing that can or should be done I would feel as if I were not safe anywhere. I hope this addresses any questions, concerns and wonderments about our situations. Thank you all again for your support, DS.

    hautemama925”

  36. MajKitab says:

    The thread was *just* deleted, I believe.

  37. The Bored Bitch says:

    Rumor has it that the Phoenix PD was made aware of the original thread.

    I wonder what was going through their minds while reading her hysterical blab-fest?

  38. Justsaying says:

    Is this person a native English speaker?
    She needs to stop trying to “sound smart.” It’s not working well for her.

  39. me says:

    Mmm, I am not feeling bad for the parents. Everyone knows to sit and wait in your car when pulled over by the police.

    And the baby….yeah she could wait a few minutes to be feed. Better to let your child cry a couple minutes then get arrested and have your child taken by CPS for a few hours at the least.

    The cops did nothing wrong.

  40. Sarah says:

    Hmmmm….now she’s getting negative feedback as a potential scammer. http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/itrader.php?u=31996

    I’m sure they’re just targeting her b/c she BF’s, right?! *rolls eyes*

  41. Sarah says:

    Now she’s outed herself on the thread about her in T&F so it’ll go poof soon…

  42. Sarah says:

    And started her own thread in T&F about the same transaction.

  43. JustDrew says:

    This broad should have her head examined, Why the F is everyone so goddamn quick to pull the victim card? She seriously has no idea why the cops threatened to shoot her? Has she no idea that the police are spit on, shot at, threatened every DAY and all the can do to help prevent it is by making sure potentially CRAZY people stay the F in their cars during traffic stops? Especially since they were prob screaming instructions to GTF back in her car, all the while she was acting like feeding her baby was SUCH a priority that the police should just POTENTIALLY let a wanted person go into their back seat for a shot gun? Perhaps the police should have just taken the chance? Go screw you dumb bitch. Get a clue, and I feel bad for your kid. Being in the military your husband should have had the brains to pull your dumb ass back into the car and told you to STFU. I have to question his common sense level as well.

  44. JustDrew says:

    Oh and re: legal advise.. WTF are you looking for in compensation for this matter? Money? you know where that money is going to ultimately come from don’t you? Are you scarred? Did your poooooooooor baby suffer life emotional trauma from not having your boob for an extra 5 min? Jesus people like you make me SICK, and I blame the pussification of America. Way to cost taxpayers for the court proceedings while the courts are already clogged with “serious” matters. Do the world/your kid a favor and go drink some bleech.

  45. Peachy Keen says:

    I hope she knows if she files suit she WILL lose. No lawyer in their right mind would take on this case UNLESS they write into the contract they will get paid regardless of the outcome.

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