Archive for June, 2008

To call or not to call…. (

If you thought that someone was either a troll (or had serious mental issues) would you call them out?
snangel 06-28-2008 11:41 AM

Seriously, I wouldn’t call someone out on DS… but on the blog, almost anything goes. And, we’re just really nosey.

Would you be grossed out? (


06-28-2008 08:02 PM

Would you be grossed out?

My little sister is here visiting. She’s got two kids–one 2 and one 6 months. She owns 24 Premium prefolds and her 6 month old is moving into that two dozen diapers. She and her husband are poor and they spend what they can on diapers–which isn’t much.

First of all, she put her diapers into my diaper pail. I’m not sure why, but it bothered me. Her diapers aren’t as pretty as mine–they’re all stained and ragged looking (like torn and shredded!). Her covers are completely shot–I don’t think that bummis are designed to be used for 3 years straight with 3 in rotation–on two kids. They’re like gray and yucky looking and just sag around the waist and legs. My diaper pail NEVER stinks… but with her diapers in there, it was FOUL! Since we have three babies in diapers I have to wash every day–so it wasn’t more than 7 hours that her diapers were in the pail before I opened it to wash!

I put them all into my washer and washed and washed and washes on hot… until the suds stopped. Her covers look WHITER–and she said, “OH, you can put those in the washing machine?”

She’s been washing them BY HAND for 3 years.. no wonder they look so gray!

I gave her 6 more diapers that I don’t really use—and gave her a couple of stuffers for pockets to use as doublers, because I can afford to spare them. I also just ordered her 3 of those clover diapers (they got sent back, but should be to them this week).

Maybe I’m a snob. I know I shouldn’t be–because she’s doing the right thing, and she’s really getting her money’s worth/the life out of her diapers.. but still. I don’t want them in my pail with my pretties!




06-28-2008 08:14 PM

Re: Would you be grossed out?


Originally Posted by chataine (Post 4004061)

this is kind of amusing to me.. i probably wouldn’t care that she put her dipes in my pail..but i would probably be a little perturbed she didn’t ask first.. does she know about sun bleaching? anyway.. thats really sweet of you to give her some of your dipes you’re not using!

Yeah, I don’t want to be a snob.. but the whole time my diapers were being desudded along with hers–when they didn’t have SUDS… and I didn’t know, but they were already in there–I was feeling like my perfect diapers had gotten a virus and had to wait it out in the waiting room or something! I told her to sun her diapers—I suggested soaking them all in OXY-clean and putting them wet, soaked diapers in the sun–because I did that with a dozen infant prefolds she sent me before this baby was born–and they were SO STAINED.. and they were SO WHITE after I was done with them.

I think it’s great that she’s being responsible.. but, not machine washing a cover for YEARS? Blech!


06-28-2008 08:25 PM

Re: Would you be grossed out?


Originally Posted by lirpasirhc (Post 4004188)

if her diapers needed stripping, then it would bother me. i’d rather strip her diapers separately to avoid extra wear and tear on my diapers.

Yeah.. it’s like she brought her sick kids to my house when she knew they were sick… then she mixed up their cups between uses!


06-28-2008 08:46 PM

Re: Would you be grossed out?


Originally Posted by MamaOf3Cuties (Post 4004379)

Maybe you should teach her how to care for her diapers rather than coming here and dogging her about it????

I did give her some instructions. I told her to get some BAC-out. And I explained that boiling won’t get out the stains–she knew the diapers needed to be stripped because she boiled them–to no avail. I’m totally trying to help her. I bought her the original SEVEN DOZEN infant prefolds she had because she didn’t have a washer in her apartment and would have to go to the laundromat. To say I’m generous would put it lightly.. but it’s just frustrating–but, as other people have suggested, it may not be just about the diapers.


06-28-2008 09:36 PM

Re: Would you be grossed out?

OMG seriously? The nerve of some people!! How dare she put her dirty diapers in with your dirty diapers. Doesn’t she know diapers need to be separated in order to keep the ugly ones from leaking on to the pretty ones? I wouldn’t let her back into your house until she can afford better diapers. You should post pictures so we can all point fingers and laugh at her.


06-28-2008 10:19 PM

Re: Would you be grossed out?

Keep yer stained, tattered, and dingy poor excuse of CD away from my pristine high quality dipes and out of their pail/bag.

OK, maybe if they are on par with our stash it would be ok. But seriously, I wouldn’t feel very good putting some less than stellar dipes alongside ours. Maybe its snobbish but hell, we spend a lot of time and effort to keep our dipes in impeccable condition and I just wouldn’t want to co-mingle them.

I wouldn’t park a Mercedes next to a beat up Buick in the parking lot, I’d be selective as to where I would leave it unattended.


06-28-2008 10:53 PM

Re: Would you be grossed out?

Wow, I’m getting seriously bashed her when, from the get-go, I admitted that I realized I was being a little silly.

I wasn’t frustrated about her diapers–actually–more about the fact that they were covered in a layer of suds. I only use bamboo and only washed with Bac-out and Biokleen. I don’t know what she used to wash her diapers–but when I had to strip her diapers–I was concerned that the soap residue would be on my diapers, too. THAT was why I was irritated about the diapers. I didn’t really care about her diapers being dirty… I did notice it.. and realized they weren’t as ‘pretty’ as mine. But, I certainly wasn’t judging her. I think it’s cool that she uses her cloth up.

For diapers–the need to get stripped IS like a sickness in your diapers. IT’s somethign that needs to be treated until it’s all better– THAT was what I equated to a virus. Not the ugliness of her diapers..

HOWEVER… she’s poor, yes, but she chooses to buy stuff she doesn’t need (like high speed internet access and $60 worth of gas to drive to my house) when she doesn’t have enough diapers for her two children. If her diapers are so covered in residue that she can’t get it out with boiling.. then she needs to spend some funds she spends on eating out on Bac-out or something like you guys suggested for CURING diaper woes.


06-28-2008 10:59 PM

Re: Would you be grossed out?


Originally Posted by JeDeeLenae (Post 4005257)

Oh the horror! She spent $60 in gas to see her sister…

My point is that you have to make good choices… and she makes some good ones, and some less than good ones. But if she’s concerned about her diapers being in bad shape, she should spend the $5 to get some bac-out.


06-29-2008 07:56 AM

Re: Would you be grossed out?

1: I hand wash only and my dipes sparkle / no suds
2: I cd for health\money reasons so only prefolds here
3: Baby Poo is Baby Poo – I’d wash it all together np
4: A little more compassion would be nice
5: See – anything can be turned into a status symbol


06-29-2008 09:20 AM

Re: Would you be grossed out?

Wow, I’ve never made so much fuss of something before.

When I put my sister’s diapers into the wash.. I told her to just use my diapers. I showed her where the goodmamas and fussybutts were. I only have OBV flats… and she doesn’t do pins, so I wasn’t sure that she could use them. I washed her diapers–and told her to use my PUL covers… it was fine with me. I really wanted to wash her diaperrs so they wouldn’t be gross when they go back. She has to pay $4-6 to wash/dry her diapers.. and I guess she does it daily or every 36 hours. I was happy to help her.

My point about being frustrated was that my OBV–which wears out much more quickly than cotton (which can survive A LONG TIME, obviously)–had to run through the 4 or 5 washes on hot. I would think that any of you who spent $20 on dyed OBV.. and they got worn out in the wash because they got soap residue on them… you would be upset. THIS IS NOT ABOUT HER DIAPERS BEING DIRTY.


And, the only reason I have GMs and expensive diapers is because I saved my money and chose not to get a new lap top like my husband did. We live on a one income budget. I count how much I spend on stuff. I did send my sister diapers. I bought her entire newborn stash–with the exception of covers–which I got together with her father and told him what she needed.

I’ve sent her diapers when I could. I’ve ordered her the diapers I had the money to buy. But, really… and since there’s always more to a story than everyone knows… I really can’t spend my whole life cleaning up after my sister’s poor choices in life. Í have spent THOUSANDS of dollars taking care of her in her life.. and she’s never once been grateful or appreciative(sp?) of it.

I feel like letting people send her diapers… is just enabling her to depend on other people to buy her stuff and make sure she doesn’t have to plan out things like this.

Oh yes.. and she was complaining to me about having too few diapers–and my mother, because she thinks/knows that one of us will buy them for her. And that is a really unhealthy attitude to have.


06-29-2008 10:27 AM

Re: Would you be grossed out?

I always find it “amusing” when someone posts a rant about another person and then when people don’t agree with what was said in the rant the OP continues to post more and more things that make the person look bad. Doesn’t seem quite legit to me, to be honest.


06-29-2008 03:27 PM

Re: Would you be grossed out?


Originally Posted by ~Peach~ (Post 4008356)

Ok for one you said shes poor. So maybe her complaining she needs more diapers is her way of getting the diapers she so desperately needs. Seriously if my sister said something like that Id do more than throw a few of my unwanted diapers her way. It really makes me sad that you feel this way about your sister regardless of what she has done.
My sister has done loads of evil crap to me but now that we are older we are closer then ever. I’ve already told her Im saving some of my PRETTIES for her baby and Id go out of my way to make sure she had more than enough to get her thru a few days.

I gave her 4 Sustainable Babyish flats with doublers and 2 Mudshrimps prefolds. I didn’t give her some crappy diapers that I didn’t want/couldn’t sell!

Wouldn’t the world be awesome if we had a sister like that, and a brother like that Good guy??

OMG how on Earth can someone think this is fair!!!!! (

siriusmama 05-31-2008 01:42 AM

OMG how on Earth can someone think this is fair!!!!!
I have never been so full of disbelief in my life! (there are more WAHM’s affected by this actually but I am going to talk about just the one instance that I know about) A lady bought a diaper from a wonderful mama on HC (her things are seriously tdf), a CHARGEBACK was made on it (she claims her PP account was hacked into and that she wasn’t given the option of telling her CC company which purchases she made-make of that story what you will), she then sold the diaper here on DS and has now left the honest, hardwoking WAHM (of six beautiful children) NEGATIVE feedback over it! :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
Because it is so wrong of a WAHM to expect to either be paid for her work or have her product returned to her apparently 🙄
So all of you WAHMs out there take note, not only are you supposed to work your butts off making beautiful fluff you are supposed to give it away now too and whatever you do don’t you DARE flag the “buyer” or you can receive negative feedback for having the nerve to complain:yuck:
(oh and ftr, while it is possible for the PP account hacking story to be true the way this woman has responded to the situation by leaving neg fb as well as the very rude and insulting comments she made here-don’t bother looking, the thread was deleted-makes me feel that it is highly unlikely to be true. just my humble opinion of course 😉 )
beenwaitingalongtime 06-01-2008 09:56 AM

Re: OMG how on Earth can someone think this is fair!!!!!

Originally Posted by beautiful7 (Post 3726010)
I had not heard about this, but I am SS to the WAHM whom this was done too. :hugs:

You, and other active HC WAHMs should really consider joining the Bad Hyena group to stay in the know about shady buyers, chargebacks, non-payers, etc. We’re still figuring out what we can do as a group to prevent these sort of situations, but at least you can be abreast of what’s going on!

Even if the WAHM has proof of delivery, etc. if the buyer isn’t cooperating w/ the process necessary to clear the suspended transactions, it could take approx. 75 DAYS for it to run its course via PayPal. How many sellers can afford to have their accounts suspended and/or in the negative for that period of time?!

mindyt289 06-23-2008 07:41 PM

Re: OMG how on Earth can someone think this is fair!!!!!

Originally Posted by debmom2boyz (Post 3728877)
How do people think of these things.

I don’t even understand it! I mean….I don’t understand the chargeback stuff and all.

Um…yes….if I got refunded money for something I bought from a wahm for whatever reason and I have the goods….and don’t give the money…then sell it….yeah…..that’s stealing…IMHO


And if this is what is going around it’s totally slanderous.

mindyt289 06-23-2008 08:25 PM

Re: OMG how on Earth can someone think this is fair!!!!!

Originally Posted by kezoo (Post 3955244)
Well, as usual, I have missed all the drama and am totally clueless as to what is going on. Wanna fill me in?

OK, thats a reasonable response so I guess I can oblidge you.

The mama who had her paypal account hacked is my friend. I met her through my daughters birth club on

She decided in April that she would like to give cloth diapering a try. She has a baby girl that was born in March and an 18 month old little boy.

She bought a ton of pockets through the blueberry sale, a few fitteds, a few wahm diapers off ebay, a set off batik bum, a few from diaper swappers, a prestons pants. She was totally clueless and I’m not sure she quite knew what she was getting into. When they started arriving she didn’t even know if she was supposed to wash them or what. AND she was getting ready to move from Florida to Delaware so many of the diapers she ordered were shipped to her moms house in Delaware so she didn’t have to worry about them getting to her before she moved.

Well, when she got her diapers she started with the pockets. No matter what she tried, she had leaks. She tried a fitted with a cover and had so much better luck this time. No leaks and her babies stayed dry and happy. BUT since most of her diapers were pockets, and brand new she had to sell them to buy fitteds. Her husband also got the news that as part of his new job he would be going to Las Vegas for traiing and then going to the Middle East. ( he is a civilian contractor with the US Airforce)

Her husband had been gone about 2 weeks when she found out her paypal account had been hacked. Have you ever gotten an email that looks like it was sent by paypal, asking about a recent purchase that you made. It’s usually a very expensive purchase, and they ask to to take action immediately by clicking here… Then when you click the icon in the email it asks for your password. Well, she fell for it, and thats how it was hacked. Her account had several thousands of charges on it, as did her credit cards. PAYPAL froze her account, and reset the password. She had to wait the 3-5 business days for them to send her the new password in the mail to the address associated with the account. During this time she couldn’t even log in and see who she had made purchases from so she could start contacting them and let them know what was up. She relied on her list of transactions on the paypal website to keep track of everything.

Eventually Paypal told her how they were going to handle everything. THe people that had chargebacks, WERE going to get thier money. THey just had to be patient and wait for paypal and the credit card companies to iron things out, and she had quite a stack of paper work that she had to fill out as well. Paypal assured her the vendors were going to get paid. If she sent them thier items back, eventually they were going to get paid by paypal, and the items that she bought were payed for by her (during all these chargebacks, the money was never refunded to her. It was in a frozen state by the CC company and paypal) If she were to return them then she would not be given a refund.

AS I said earlier she needed fitteds because it’s what fit her kids and were better suited to her use. So she started selling what wouldn’t work for her so she could buy fitteds.

I would also like to let you all know, all this went down after her husband was gone. She was forced to handle the wraith of 10 angry women, try to iron things out with the cc company and paypal all while home alone with 2 under the age of 1.5 years old. SHe is a young mom to top it all off.

And for the record, I think at this time PAYPAL has reversed all the chargebacks and everyone has gotten thier money.

And then she started deleting posts… so it was all quoted.

jausten 06-23-2008 08:49 PM

Re: OMG how on Earth can someone think this is fair!!!!!

Originally Posted by mindyt289 (Post 3955818)
and ftr sometimes crap like this happens. I used to work loss prevention for HOME DEPOT, and it happened more than you will ever know, and for hundreds of thousands of dollars. Its a cost of doing business. If they aren’t prepared for soemthing like that to happen, maybe they should seriously reconsider having a home business.

You do realize that a WAHM is ONE WOMAN working usually late at night or while her kids nap. She does everything on her own.

And *most* WAHMs make pennies.

To compare a WAHM business to Home Depot is absolutely absurd.

Let’s see – it’s 11:49pm, and I’m taking a break from working for the past 3 hours.

Drive by Home Depot and see if anybody is working there.

MatildasMum 06-23-2008 09:04 PM

Re: OMG how on Earth can someone think this is fair!!!!!

Originally Posted by mindyt289 (Post 3955945)
Bottom line…
You should be in business if you don’t want to deal with customers.

I don’t know if I’d want to deal with potential scammers, either. :dunno:

~Peach~ 06-23-2008 09:11 PM

Re: OMG how on Earth can someone think this is fair!!!!!

Originally Posted by mindyt289 (Post 3955974)
Ya know not everybody is as saavy as you are. I just found out yesterday I could go back and see what I purchased off Hyena cart.

THis is the third AND LAST time I will say this:


would you offer to pay for something twice??

Has the WAHM received her money for the diaper that was purchased and then sold??? Or did she even let paypal know that transaction wasnt fraudulent? Bottomline is she somehow managed to sell the diaper online so Im thinking she went thru paypal. So why didnt the WAHM receive her funds after the diaper was sold?

topazdodge 06-23-2008 09:15 PM

Re: OMG how on Earth can someone think this is fair!!!!!

Originally Posted by mindyt289 (Post 3956011)
:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

I give up

crazy lunatic women win another one!!!!!

If you are so miserable


OK, I agree with the troll Dx, but I just can’t resist…

Woman, you are way out of line. Who TH do you think we mostly purchase stuff from? WAHMs! OK, I could just go off on this, but at this point, YOU’RE not worth it. :yuck: And I bet you just made some serious DNBST lists.:D

The looneys have really been coming out lately. Anyone who defends a scammer, and then doesn’t even have all the info needed to make that defense, is definitely making my list. 😉

I was so DISGUSTED at chucrch this monring that I…. (


06-22-2008 09:47 AM

I was so DISGUSTED at chucrch this monring that I….

Gathered my kids and LEFT!!!! 😥

I don’t know how to take this all in. To start off we are kinda new there, only been a hand full of times. My landlords are the ones who got us going there. They are members. This is a Good ol’ Southern baptist church and until now I loved it there.

So we are sitting in our sunday school class and the preacher starts off as usual, then he goes on to tell a joke. To me the joke was fine at 1st, then it became a racial joke. :jawdrop: !! I was just beside myself!

The joke went like this. Please don’t take offense to my posting this. I just need to make SURE that I am getting it right and that I am not wrong to be totally disgusted by this.

” A man goes gulfing and desides to use the robotic feild. So he goes in sets his balls down and starts to gulf. The robot says you don’t use that club for that one, you use this one. So the man continues and when hes done he says man this was my best game yet! I did the best I have even done.

He then comes back the next week and asks for the robot again. The man says I’m sorry but we had to get rid of them. He says well why? The man says that the silver chrome on the robots was causing the other gulfers to be distracted by the shining. So the man says well why didn’t you just paint them black? He says well I tried, but it didnt work out, three of them went on welfare, one laid out for a week, four of them robbed the station down the road and one is running for president.”

:gah: :dunno: :reaction: :nervous: :puke:

Worse part, 1/2 the room laughed. The other 1/2 just sat there.

I was so disgusted that I left the room, got my kids and we left.

Was I wrong? Did I take it the wrong way? I’m so against anything of that nature… I could just cry right now. 😥


06-22-2008 09:52 AM

Re: I was so DISGUSTED at chucrch this monring that I….

HAHAHAH THATS A DAMN FUNNY JOKE THO!!!!!!!…..guess you’d have to have a sense of humor to laugh…..OR not be threatened by race……i guess its just me—-none of my friends would be offended…….NOR are they all white…so …..


06-22-2008 10:03 AM

Re: I was so DISGUSTED at chucrch this monring that I….

i really dont care whether you are black or white…red yellow or frickin GREEN….i guess im comfortable with the colors of the world and could care less–lighten up….

YES IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE TO TELL AT CHURCH!! AND TOA GROUP OF PPL- YOU DONT KNOW COULD BE OFFENDED ONE WAY OR ANOTHER>> are right there.—absolutely NOT ight to tell at church..AND …HAHA it was the pastor??…..pffffft…now thats comical in itsself!


06-22-2008 10:05 AM

Re: I was so DISGUSTED at chucrch this monring that I….

and yes…i have a twisted sense of humor….SO WHAT. yall dont have to be SHEEP and follow suit cuz someone is gonna think differently of you.


06-22-2008 10:13 AM

Re: I was so DISGUSTED at chucrch this monring that I….

no…not drinking…..i guess its not what people wanna hear….so ASSUME what you please…

i guess what im trying to say….is WHY do people see color in trying to say i dont care what color anyone is-it makes no difference to me….as people were throwing around…my kids DH is black….SO?…that makes no difference to me…i dont look at people with color in mind—-being a certain color doesnt make you who you are…..


So, I didn’t want to give this chick what she wanted.  She obviously is a HUGE fan of the blog and just was hating that she never was worthy of it… but you all have convinced me.  Here she is in all her glory.

big-mama 06-18-2008 07:38 PM

Really frustrated – wwyd? – added pics
So, i bought 5 dipes from a WAHM on here. She also has a hyenacart and has good feeback so i wasnt worried. I paid right away (may 24?) I hadnt heard anything for awhile but on june 5th she said she would be shipping them priority the next day. And that she would send me the DC# and i should get it on Monday or Tuesday. I didnt get a pm. She was on ds. I pm’d her a few times and she was reading them but not responding. Finally on the 12th(the thursday after she said i would get them on mon or tues) she responded to a pm with the dc # saying they were delivered.
I get them and they look okay so i put them in the wash. All 4 look like seconds. They have random pieces of fabric stitched together. 2 of the inners have the fabric cut and stitched together. One of which is coming apart after one wash. This one also is coming out of the FOE. The 3rd dipe is coming out of the FOE also AND it is pieced together on the outer right at the front where the snaps are! And she put that fabric going a diff direction.
There are other issues but these are the worst ones.
When i asked her about this she offers for me to send them back and have her fix them. I tell her i would like a refund or new dipe on the 2 that are really messed up. She says no refunds and no returns and DENIES that the inners are patched together. She also says she ran out of fabric so she just pieced the outers together instead of pming to ask if that was okay.
She sends me a rude email about how she never has problems etc.

With how bad her comm has been and how much she doesnt care about the quality i am afraid to have her “fix” them.
I was thinking of selling them on FSOT with a huge description of the flaws in hopes that someone who makes dipes can fix them up or use them some how.

I can post pics of the flaws if that will help you see – since the descriptions of the issues are hard to word.


And from the WAHM in question… in the WAHM thread, sorry it’s funky, this was emailed to me by someone other than the WAHM:

> Do you think I'm wrong here?
> Posted by:
> On: 06-18-2008 10:40 PM
> Okay, I did a custom order of some pockets for a mama and she keeps
> back to me with this or that and giving me grief!
> Here's the scoop:  Of the prints she ordered 2 of the outer cotton
> were not quite wide enough so I pieced a litle bit of the tab so that
> wouldn't be too small in the waist.  I've done it before and no one
> seemed to mind and I make it not noticeable if at all and make sure
 it is
> very securely sewn to never come apart.  It had nothing to do with
 the PUL
> or the lining so I know it doesn't affect performance.  She didn't
> me about this issue until after she started complaining about other
> After she got them, washed them and used them she said they might be
> little wide in the crotch though they were standard to me as far as I
> tell from all the ones I have seen/used but I know all kids are
> and brands differ too so maybe she was just used to something
> She didn't mind and used a wider insert and said it was fine.  I even

> offered to send her a free insert for the heck of it, she didn't want
> Then a week later she e-mailed saying the outer fabric was coming
> from under the FOE trim and I offered to pay shipping to have it sent
> to fix it, she refused.  Then 2 days later she said another one was
> it, I offered to fix, she said no.  I reoffered one more time to pay
> fixing with no response.  Now today (almost 3 weeks after her reciept
> them) she does want to send them back for fixing, that's fine, I
> mind.  It's a 2 minute fix and not something that should have
 happened.  I
> even offered to do all 4 in order to make sure the other 2 wouldn't
> that since obviously it's easier to doit all at once.  She responded
> saying no justthe 2 since her LO was already at mid snap setting and
> want him to outgrow them while waiting for them to be fixed (like
> gonna take a year or something?).  So, I asked her for her e-mail to
> her PP with to print a label with for mailing back, she sent it to me
> immediately after that e-mail I get one that starts pointing out 6
> she doesn't like about them and then wants a refund for them after
> them for 2 weeks!?  Wouldn't common sense dictate that if you don't
> the little piece job I did on the tab that you should speak up right
> Or anything else to speak up?  I would also think that anyone would
> that when trying multiples of a "new-to-you" brand to try one first
> leave the rest as new so they are returnable.  I polietly but firmly
> responded that I don't mind fixing where the spot of FOE/fabric is
> but that I can't/don't do refunds or replacements on used diapers.
  Was I
> wrong to do that?  I don't want to tick her off but I don't want to
> taken advantage of eitheir.  I'm just so frustrated!  It also stated
> the thread she bought one item from the following so I think it's
> clear:
> If you have any questions please ask prior to purchase. Due to the
> of the items we can not accept returns on used items, if you order
> wrong size we will be happy to exchange it for the correct size.
> will be responsible for shipping both ways for the exchange.
> We warranty the items against defects on our work (Stitching and
> construction) and also on Snaps for 30 days from date of receipt. If
> shows abnormal wear and tear or abuse warranty will be voided. Simply

> return the item to us and we will fix or replace the item at our
> discretion.
Part of me thinks it would just be easier to refund her and get it
> with :banghead:
> Re: Do you think I'm wrong here?
> Posted by:
> On: 06-19-2008 12:38 AM
> Yeah well, now she has this thread in Transactions that is mostly
 full of
> lies so now I can't even resell the pockets or everyone will know it
> me.  She has all them bashing me and they don't even know it.  I was
> difficult, never didn't communicate, never rude, tried and tried and
> to work something out.  She was
> dead set on THOSE prints and it took her 4 DAYS to make up her mind
 in the
> first place that I didn't want to ask her to change her mind again!
> fault, I know, I didn't see them as bad but I guess maybe so.  I'm so

> upset I just want to quit all together.  I know she is going topitch
 a fit
> and probably still leave negative FB like everyone is telling her to
 do so
> they know who it is when she finds out she isn't getting a refund on
> shipping!  I have half a mind to take the strike and tell my side of
> story!  She is making me out to be some sort of MONSTER and I am not!
> is totally not telling all the facts!

So, what do you think? Just who is telling the truth?

–   –   A returned package? (


06-15-2008 01:10 AM

A returned package?

Ok – so just wanted to get opinions on this.

As many of you know I run co-ops on several boards. I work very hard to make sure they run smoothly and timely. I’ve never had any issues with packages shipping out before. Recently I had a package returned with a sticker from the post office saying “insufficient address”. I printed the shipping label through paypal (as I do 99% of the time). It looks like the label was torn or cut so that the ship to address is missing. The rest of the label is totally fine. I’ve NEVER had a package returned. I do everything I can to package the orders properly and secure the package and label.

I feel really bad for the participant, but at the same time feel that I am in no way responsible to pay to ship the package back out again. I tried talking to my mailman (that was a total waste – which I figured – he was like “I just deliver it”). I also contacted the PO and they basically said “sorry about your luck the previous postage is used, to ship it out again you have to pay again”. I know it totally sucks that now by paying double shipping the products are almost not even worth it. I just can’t pay it myself either.

I’ve had communication back and forth about the situation with the ship to person, but they seems very hesitant to pay (as I would be upset too). It’s been quite some time now and hasn’t repaid the shipping. It hasn’t gotten ugly or anything, but I feel like they are waiting for me to say I’ll pay and I just can’t/won’t.

What do you think?

BTW, it was shipped priority with dc # so it does show it was shipped and returned to me.

Also, does it make a difference if it was a FSOT order, wahm order, or co-op order in how you would handle it?

I just keep thinking about this and feel so bad, but there really is no “happy ending” to this transaction that I see.

ETA: Also, should I give her a certain time to pay the “re-shipping” by. It’s driving me crazy thinking about it and the package just sitting here.


06-15-2008 09:10 PM

Re: A returned package?

What it really comes down to is:

Do you want to be right? Or do you want to preserve your reputation and credibility?

That’s ultimately what it comes down to. Unless you covered the WHOLE label with tape leaving no paper uncovered then yes, you failed to properly affix the label. And really, even if you did do that, your still the seller and until it reaches your customers hands your still responsible. Coop or not, that’s the burdon you’ve taken on. This is 100% your responsibility, Hyena Cart, FSOT or coop, the seller must make sure the package gets there, period. Have you ever been inside a mail sorting facility? Have you seen the machines they smash the letters/packages through? The airport workers that handle the boxes/bags of mail during transit (ie: toss, smash and pitch said mail)? I have, worked there pre baby. Thus my great investment in clear packing tape as a seller. lol My friends and DH laugh at me for how much tape I use on a poor little poly mailer, but I tell ya what, it’s worth it when the package gets there and I get confirmation the contents are perfect. I sent a package to Singapore once. Customs showed it stuck in MIA (from Ok to Singapore why it was in MIA I am not sure) for over 8 weeks. Then one day it showed up back at my house in a clear “opps we messed up your mail” usps baggie. It was DRENCHED in orange soda and appeared to have been used as a punching bag. However, the contents were 100% intact thanks to the over kill use of tape :lostit: and the coop member and I agreed to split shipping back to her and then I argued with the PO about refunding the original shipping as it was clearly their fault. Which they did and I then refunded her her half.

I could go on an on with examples, but in the end this is your name we’re talking about. How much is it worth to you?

I know this sucks and it’s not encouraging to hear everyone saying the opposite of what you want to hear but advice isn”t worth much if it’s not honest. :goodvibes:

Now this was surprising.  I’m sure we’re all aware of Angie from Bear Bottom Britches… just didn’t think she would be all that great at giving advice.  But, as she said, she could go on and on with examples.

–   –   Ebay Ettiquette? (


06-14-2008 07:26 AM

Ebay Ettiquette?

okay did i mention how much i hate ebay:yuck: Nothing ever goes smoothly. anyways, i have a ton of infant formula that my mil picked up at the local dings and dents store super cheap. Hanna is allergic to most of it and i can’t return it, so and i tried to sell some of it on ebay. when that didn’t work too well i posted it here ffs—(it’s still available btw) anyways, i sold one box of 13oz concentrated cans of soy formula, ( 12 cans in the box) I sold it for $19.99 plus shipping in a flat rate box and shipped the day after he paid for it. anyways, he sends me an email today saying—-” i am very dissapointed, half of these cans are expired and i would like to arrange for a refund”

I don’t feel i need to give him a refund–and here’s why…..

–i didn’t list any return policy in my listing (there is an option to do that and i didn’t select it)

–I didn’t specify what the expiration dates were in the listing. i stated ” various expiration dates” and figured if anyone wanted to know they could post a question before they bid.

–he didn’t ask before he bid and won the item so why should i have to give him a refund now:headscratch:

am i being unfair or rude here mamas??? somebody tell me please:goodvibes:


06-14-2008 07:48 AM

Re: Ebay Ettiquette?

okay then!! maybe i’m wrong. i just thought since it was super cheap and it wasn’t listed that maybe the buyer should have asked. it’s only expired by like 2 months so honestly what difference does it make-not being snarky–i’m just wondering how an unopened can would go bad???


06-14-2008 07:53 AM

Re: Ebay Ettiquette?

I would be pissed if I was the buyer and got something expired. I would expect a refund. Skirting around the issue with sneaky wording is deceptive. If they were expired you should have said so. I would never dream that I would have to actually ask if something was expired, I’m certain PP will side with the buyer on this one.

And the woe is me post:


06-14-2008 08:07 AM

Re: Ebay Ettiquette?

geeze you mamas don’t have to be sooooo mean!!! i just asked a question and a simple answer yes or no would have been fine. telling me i’m a bad person is a little over the top don’t you think.

i sold it for less than $3 a can to recoup what my mil paid since she expected me to pay her back for it after she dropped it off. sorrry if i offended anyone and i will just say you can stop posting i have enough info—thanks!!


06-14-2008 09:11 AM

Re: Ebay Ettiquette?


Originally Posted by chloecat (Post 3861790)

okay did i mention how much i hate ebay:yuck: Nothing ever goes smoothly. anyways, i have a ton of infant formula that my mil picked up at the local dings and dents store super cheap. Hanna is allergic to most of it and i can’t return it, so and i tried to sell some of it on ebay. when that didn’t work too well i posted it here ffs—(it’s still available btw) anyways, i sold one box of 13oz concentrated cans of soy formula, ( 12 cans in the box) I sold it for $19.99 plus shipping in a flat rate box and shipped the day after he paid for it. anyways, he sends me an email today saying—-” i am very dissapointed, half of these cans are expired and i would like to arrange for a refund”

I don’t feel i need to give him a refund–and here’s why…..

–i didn’t list any return policy in my listing (there is an option to do that and i didn’t select it)

–I didn’t specify what the expiration dates were in the listing. i stated ” various expiration dates” and figured if anyone wanted to know they could post a question before they bid.

–he didn’t ask before he bid and won the item so why should i have to give him a refund now:headscratch:

am i being unfair or rude here mamas??? somebody tell me please:goodvibes:

You asked a question, i’m going to answer it. I’m sorry if you think people disagreeing with you is us being rude.

I would be heated if I bought expired formula. You just assume that someone isn’t going to sell you expired formula. It’s wrong.

Would you feed your kid expired milk? Stuff has an expiration date for a reason.

We have to list expiration dates for coupons….you said you put “various expiration dates” but failed to mention “hey half of this is expired already”

Even after all this…I can’t believe you would sell another parent expired formula. They were planning to feed it to their child. It’s like all the momma’s who were so worried about their kids using BPA bottles, but had no problem selling them to other momma’s. If you wouldn’t use it, why sell it to another mama who might not know better? I think it’s wrong. Also….cans aren’t good when they have dings and dents in them.

I would have told my MIL, thanks but no thanks.

I think you owe the buyer a refund.


06-14-2008 09:28 AM

Re: Ebay Ettiquette?

Totally rude to sell expired formula. And you did it on purpose. You took the time to look at the expiration dates so that you could state ‘various expiration dates’ You knew some were expired. That’s just dirty to sell it on ebay and mislead someone into thinking they were getting formula that could be fed to their child.


06-14-2008 11:32 PM

Re: Ebay Ettiquette?

okay so thank you to all of you for posting—-i gave him a full refund and told him to keep the formula

now, to everyone who apparently didn’t read my posts before making your own comments……

— the formula IS listed ffs here and is marked “some expired”

— i didn’t get this FREE, my mother in law brought it to me and then expected to be paid back for it, even though i can’t use it and i can’t take it back to the store.

–i already checked with the store and they have signs posted saying no returns, regardless of expired or condition of items!!

and i’m sorry for offending anyone! i didn’t realize the issues involved and honestly i feed my daughter expired powdered formula but apparently that is different. Take care and have a nice night.

Well then.  Did you really expect anything LESS than a flaming from a group of moms when you gripe about someone being pissed about the expired formula you sent them?