Stolen: Goodmamas … WWYD? (http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=386289)

cakemaven 04-05-2008 04:43 PM

Stolen: Goodmamas … WWYD?
Today I took two brand new Goodmama diapers, put them in one of those indestructible Tyvek envelopes, printed the label, slapped it on the package and taped the heck out of it. I even put tape over the non-barcoded portions of the label to be sure that the address would not become illegible if it is handled roughly during transit.

About an hour before I expected the mail to arrive, I placed it at the mailbox, which is right in front of my house… Now, for those who have never been to my house, we live up a hill in a fairly nice area, where the homes average 650k in value and there are only 2 streets that one can take to get onto the hill. We have lived here for almost 5 years and found crime to be non-existent. In spite of that, I always take my packages to the post office, and was a bit hesitant to leave the package out. But considering that UPS often leaves INSURED packages worth hundreds on my porch with no signature, it seemed safe enough…

So I peeked outside to see if the mail had come. I knew that if the package was gone, then mail came, right? WRONG! When I went to check my mail, the package had been ripped open, the contents stolen and the packaging left beside the mailbox! WTF? Who on earth would steal diapers from the mail??? I asked a neighbor if she had seen anything, since she had been outside working on her yeard since before I placed the package. There are some renters in a house 2 doors down from her that don’t really “fit in” with the rest of the neighborhood. I suspected that it may have been one of the kids who live there, so I specifically asked the gardening neighbor if she had seen any of those kids outside. I wasn’t terribly surprised when she confirmed that she had seen one of them out, but that she hadn’t been paying attention to what the kid was doing.

Armed with this information and my ripped-open Tyvek envelope, I knocked at the suspect’s house. No answer. I rang the bell and waited. Then a man answered the door. I explained to him that my package had been ripped open and the contents stolen and that someone had seen a girl who lived there in the area when it happened. Since I am not one to make accusations without proof, I told him that I wanted to find out “if she had seen anything.” He told me that he would talk with her and send her over if she had news. About 20 minutes later she showed up at my door with both diapers. On one hand, I was very glad to have them back, and on the other I was sad that I was right.

I asked the girl why she took them. She told me that she thought that they had been left there. Anyone who has ever opened a package (or present) wrapped by me knows what an effort it is to get past the tape, so this was clearly not true. But I thought to myself, it wasn’t worth arguing this with her. Plus, she is not someone I have ever seen before, so I wonder if perhaps she is a foster kid, and I didn’t see the need to make life tought for her. I could have said, “thank you, now we’re calling the police. Mail theft is a federal offense” but instead I told her that I couldn’t have replaced them and I appreciated her returning them and I gave her a hug.

She returned to my door a short time later asking if there was anything that she owed me (I guess because she ruined the packaging and such) and I told her that it was not necessary. I said “Usually when someone takes something that isn’t theirs, there is a reason for it. Is there something that you need? If there is something that I can help with, just let me know” She seemed rather surprised and insisted that she thought they had just been left there, but I hope that she has learned her lesson and maybe she realizes that this is a neighborhood of nice people. Maybe someone showing her love and understanding will help make a difference in her life…

Did I do the right thing? What would you have done?

I have nothing but kudos for cakemaven.  I would have called the cops. How do you go into someone’s mailbox, and take something, and claim you thought it was just “left there?”  Ummm…. yes, MAIL is left there, for the POSTMAN or the person that LIVES THERE! Maybe I’m too mean…
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Comments
  1. theboardbitch says:

    I probably would have called the cops too..

  2. Liljoeysmom says:

    Good for Cakemaven. She probably taught that girl a lot more than calling the cops would have. FTR I probably would of called the cops too!

  3. Just Me says:

    I would have called the cops also. How can you claim a package in a mailbox was “left there”.

  4. DS Drama Mama 2 says:

    I would have called the cops, but in all honesty, she really did do more by teaching this girl that there are nice people and nice places for people to live. I hope the girl really did learn…

  5. What a wanker says:

    From the sounds of it, the package wasn’t actually “in” the mailbox. Sounds like it was left out by the box or on the box but not in the box. A kid might not realize that it was for the mailman. Maybe.

    Anyway, I’m sure the girls parents said something too. Sounds like it all turned out for the best for everyone.

  6. Sarah says:

    IMO a fifteen year old is not a “kid.” This girl knew that packages by a mailbox were not just left there and that it wouldn’t be okay for her to take them. No way in hell would I have just forgiven her, asked if there was anything more I could give her, and then hugged her. She’s a thief, she’s old enough to know right from wrong, and being nice to her is not going to change her behavior.

    Although, maybe it will keep her from stealing from this mama again, but certainly not from others.

  7. cakemaven says:

    There is only a slot for outgoing mail on our mailbox, so packages must be placed on top of it, or next to it. I placed it on top, so there was no mistake that it was outgoing mail.

    I was guessing the girl was maybe 15-ish, but she could have been as young as 12. Eyeliner and too much mascara tends to make a girl look older. LOL and I’m not good at telling age when it comes to girls (I only have boys and my oldest is 11).

    My thought too that she was probably going to be in HUGE trouble at home, and calling the police would only make her think that she should have trashed the diapers or just lied and said she didn’t do it. Since she owned up and returned them, I felt that I could forgive her and hopefully impress on her that coming clean when you do wrong is always the best policy.

    Thank you dramamama for the kudos. It’s not everyday that the *good things* people do make it into the blog.

  8. yestheyareallmine says:

    Don’t you just hate it when people who don’t “fit in” move into your neighborhood? And to bring foster kids too….they should know better. Kudos to the nice, wealthy lady for being so sensitive and kind to this poor girl.

    I think the fact that the girl not only gave them back, but did so face to face, and then came back to make sure everything was ok not only means she felt guilty, but probably isn’t a thief and probably was telling the truth about not knowing it was outgoing mail. That is not the behavior of a thief. After all, you know those foster kids can be slow, besides being thieves.

  9. lysol says:

    “Don’t you just hate it when people who don’t “fit in” move into your neighborhood? And to bring foster kids too….they should know better. Kudos to the nice, wealthy lady for being so sensitive and kind to this poor girl.”

    I thought I was the only one upset about those comments in the original post. Ho Hum.

  10. cassie says:

    okay, speaking on behalf of someone who has LIVED in a foster home, some children may be of an age that most would ASSume is old enough to understand something, BUT, a lot of the kids in the system are developmentally delayed because of their environment and experiences. maybe she was fifteen. maybe she DIDN’T realize. OR, maybe she just has a serious case of kleptomania. if i had a feeling about a particular person, i would certainly ask about it as well.

    the girl coming back to the house, diapers in hand, could have felt guilty, OR, she could have been forced to march her happy ass back to their doorstep after parents further questioned her, possibly going through her things to ensure a thorough interrogation (a little out there, but i’ve seen it happen). and finding the diapers themselves. when she came back the second time, i honestly think that the parents made her go back. personally, if i did something wrong, i wouldn’t go back a SECOND time to see if they wanted to punish me. that’s something a parent would be more likely to push.

    i guess overall, no one will ever really know except the people in that house and that girl. i can’t say for sure that i would call the cops either, just because i’ve been on so many ends of the spectrum that i can see many different sides to this story. and she really didn’t seem like the criminal type who needed the hard hammer of the law laid on her. it sounds like she just needs to experience kindness in addition to consequence in order to learn.

  11. cakemaven says:

    Wow, people are up in arms because I live in a nice neighborhood and noticed that this family doesn’t fit in? Yeah, and shame on me being kind to the girl… how horrible of me to look past her actions and try instead to understand the reason and offer assistance. I’m such a meanie like that…

  12. yestheyareallmine says:

    “Wow, people are up in arms because I live in a nice neighborhood and noticed that this family doesn’t fit in? Yeah, and shame on me being kind to the girl… how horrible of me to look past her actions and try instead to understand the reason and offer assistance. I’m such a meanie like that…”

    Up in arms, no. Irritated at your condescending tone, yes. Good for you for being kind to the girl. Just going by what you wrote you didn’t so much look past her actions as make a hell of a lot of assumptions and insinuate that those people are sub-par.

    “…maybe she realizes that this is a neighborhood of nice people.”
    That statement tells me you feel good for showing her the ropes of how the “nice people” live. I only hope she can live up to your expectations.

  13. subpariq says:

    No, I think people are up in arms becasue you priced out all of the houses in your neighorhood and then made a point of saying that the renters didn’t “fit in.” It sounded snobby and elitist and I am not sure what someone fitting in even had to do with your story. Not fitting in to a wealthy neighborhood doesn’t make someone a criminal anymore than fitting into one indicates that you aren’t one. I wasn’t even really sure why you posted the story to begin with. My guess was that you wanted everyone to pat you on the back and tell you how nice you are.
    I personally would have called the police. Not holding a kid accountable usually doesn’t do any favors for the kid. I’m not faulitng you for not calling. I’m just saying that kids need to learn that every action has a consequence.

  14. cakemaven says:

    The point that I was making was simply that our neighboorhood is a nice one where crime is really unheard of. I posted the story a) to warn mamas that no matter how nice your neighboorhood is, leaving a package out for the mailman may not turn out well b) to remind people that just because someone doesn’t deserve your kindness doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give it anyway c) because I was glad I got the diapers back and d) I wasn’t 100% sure that letting her off easy was the right thing to do and wanted others opinions on this.

    My suspicions about who did it were spot on, so is it really so horrible of me to notice that they don’t fit in? Their children won’t play with others despite being invited to do so repeatedly and this girl has not lived at that house before the last few weeks. I could have called the cops from the get-go and marched over there with them demanding the diapers. But I considered that there *could* be circumstances in the girl’s life that I do not understand and wanted to be compassionate towards her instead.

  15. subpariq says:

    “The renters” not fitting in was not relevant to any of the points you were trying to make. It just made you sound like a snooty bitch. I do think it is shitty that you jumped to the conclusion that it was “the renters'” kid even if you turned out to be right.
    It sounds like “the renters” are the subject of conversation in your neighborhood. I’m not surprised that the kids don’t want to play with others in your neighborhood. I’m sure they feel the scorn that is evident in your posts.
    Money and nice homes don’t make a nice neighborhood. Good neighbors do. Children from wealthy families are just as capable and prone to petty theft and vandalism as people like “the renters” are.
    You obviously feel good about pardoning the kid. I don’t see the big picture as some act of kindness though given what lead you to the doorstep of that kid in the first place.

  16. The Bored Bitch says:

    Spot on, YTAAM.

  17. subpariq says:

    I can’t figure out what YTAAM means.

  18. yestheyareallmine says:

    YTAAM = YesTheyAreAllMine 😉

  19. subpariq says:

    TY. I was scratching my head and picking my nose thinking what that could be.

  20. What a wanker says:

    come on ladies, can’t this one be left alone? She was trying to do the right thing here. Really, there is much bigger drama out there. Do we need to pick apart this post when she was trying to be kind and compassionate? Let’s move on to the fun stuff!

  21. The Bored Bitch says:

    Spot on, Subpariq.

    I meant to include that before and ended up hitting send too soon.

  22. cakemaven says:

    There are plenty of renters in our neighboorhood. This particular family doesn’t make an effort to be a part of the community. That was the only point I was making by saying that they didn’t fit in.

    Clearly, you are looking to argue and are picking apart to my every word in an effort to support your assumptions about what kind of person I am. I originally wrote up this story for my journal as I enjoy writing about my life’s experiences and I shared it for the reasons stated above as I felt that it was a valuable lesson for me and that someone else might find it to be as well.

    People who know me also know that I am anything but snooty. I am a hard-working mom who makes an effort to change the world instead of just talking about it. I give of my time and my pocketbook and do what I can to improve the lives of others (just ask the DS mama who I pumped over 800 ounces of milk for despite never having met her). So judge me all you want by reading into things that just aren’t there. I can sleep at night knowing that I’m actually making a difference to people.

    …and for the record, yesterday was the first time that anyone has ever said anything bad about that household. I found out after all this went down that the kids from that house have broken into the two houses next to them (they’ve admitted it) and the one next to mine was broken into last month, though the perpertrator has not been identified. This was the first I’d heard of any of this and needless to say I’ll be locking my house up a little tighter next time I head out anywhere. So if I have any prejudices against them, perhaps my shock at having learned what they are doing to my neighboorhood played into my attitude when I wrote my story.

  23. The Bored Bitch says:

    Hold on…being blinded by your halo there, CM.

  24. yestheyareallmine says:

    “Clearly, you are looking to argue and are picking apart to my every word in an effort to support your assumptions about what kind of person I am. I originally wrote up this story for my journal as I enjoy writing about my life’s experiences and I shared it for the reasons stated above as I felt that it was a valuable lesson for me and that someone else might find it to be as well.”

    You are assuming I care what kind of person you are. I don’t. I don’t have any desire to comb your every word and pick it apart, LOL. In fact, I don’t care about you at all, except that you made a post that gave me something to do for a couple of minutes on a lazy Sunday.

    Your good deeds will be worth so much more if you stop putting them on display and hoping for a pat on the back (and I don’t even have to ask the mom you pumped over 800 hundred ounces for about it).

    You came across snooty, you still are, and that is my opinion and it’s probably not going to change. It really shouldn’t matter to you.

  25. cakemaven says:

    I don’t write about the things I do to get pats on the back. I do, however, sometimes share with others a few of the things that I do, hoping to inspire others to do something good for someone else.

    Call me whatever you like, as it doesn’t change my life any. I’ll keep living my life trying to help others and you’ll keep finding reasons to spew meanness when you’re bored.

  26. nak_mama says:

    I felt the same way as YTAAM when I read your post but now that you’ve mentioned that you pumped over 800 ounces of milk for a stranger, it’s clear that your looking for some public pat on the back.

  27. DiaperTwatters says:

    I don’t know how you are IRL, that doesn’t even make a difference but you did come across as stuck-up in your post. And who cares if these people are “renters” or “owners”?

  28. yestheyareallmine says:

    Eh, I was the first one to type it, but obviously not the first one to think it, lol.

  29. subpariq says:

    Who’s arguing or picking apart your every word? You stuck the most offensive part in quotations to draw extra attention to it. True do gooders don’t call attention to their acts of kindness. People that really want to help other people don’t point out that they don’t “fit in.” They go out of their way to include them and make them feel welcome. As for “spewing meanness” I would direct you to reread your posts about your neighbors.

  30. Mom of many says:

    Seriously lady! Wake the hell up. We don’t need master’s degree to see that you are a high and might selfish bitch. You spent half your post bragging about how rich you must all be to live there and this lonely poor child could be a foster child because she didn’t fit in to your wealthy lifestyle. If you paid $650,000.00 for your house then those poor ousiders renting that house is probably paying twice your morgage to rent their home. How about you take all that money you spend on Goodmommas pay those poor folks bills for a month. I am so greatful I don’t know you in real life, I might just throw up all over your porch and mailbox.

  31. onlygirl says:

    I don’t write about the things I do to get pats on the back. I do, however, sometimes share with others a few of the things that I do, hoping to inspire others to do something good for someone else.

    ok up to this point of the game i kept my mouth shut, you look like a royal snob who is bieng kind to the downtrodden, well you know what ?? the downtrodden do not need this kind of kindess ok. you inspire people by the way you live your life, and the examples that you set everysingle day. not by blathering on about being kind and not calling the cops. this reeks of the i am better and can prove it. you make me sick to be honest lady. its people like you that keep me from wanting to fit in to a neighborhood, glad you have someone new to run down. if i saw you even look in my yard i would tell you to turn your fucking head.

  32. lysol says:

    This is the very reason I would not move in to one of those “nice” neighborhoods cm speaks of. I can see why they don’t want to fit in. If I were your neighbors, I would not want to fit in if it meant one of my children got the “suspect” label pinned on them.

  33. Kelolsen says:

    I live in a nice neighborhood. We are “the renters” though LOL. We are military and only here for a few years. I had hoped to meet some nice neighbors. We had been here less than 2 weeks and were barely unpacked when a big storm came through and knocked down a large branch in our yard- it was hanging over into the road about 10 inches. It wasn’t all the way broken throuhg. Having come froma condo, we didnt have any tools to use to cut it down. I called our landlord and asked if the gardners (part of our rent) could come early and remove it. She said she’d call them. A few days went by and no one came. I should have gone and asked a neighbor if they had anything to borrow but I was new and shy. One neighbor left an anonymous nasty note about the branch and said it had been there for two weeks (it had been four days). I was so crushed that we had just moved in and someone was already being nasty to us. I figured that they knew we were renters and had made assumptions that we were trashy and I wsa so embarassed. Luckily, a few people have proven to be very nice, but it took me overa year before I’d apprach anyone in the neighborhood, b/c I always wondered who it was that left us the note. I would have loved a note that wsaid, “I know you have just moved in. I would like to have that big branch removed. Can I help you with that? here is my #” instead of such meanness.

    So that’s my story. Maybe we are perceived as not fitting in here. Maybe there are reasons why people don’t want to get involved in a community. One person can really ruin it. You don’t know their story.

    If a few of the kids have broken into houses and admitted it, it needs to be dealt w/ by calling the authorities, however. That does need to be addressed if the stories are actually true.

  34. Jennifer (ferrferr) says:

    Hmmm ..

    1. If you payed so much for your house why is it that you couldn’t afford to replace two $30 shitcatchers? Lets do the math … $650,000 home .. can’t afford to replace $60 in diapers. Poser?

    2. I hope to high hell I never move to where you live because I might look suspect with my piercings and clothes that didn’t come from some trendy shop in the mall. Then you might call me a foster child and accuse me of stealing your mail.

    Oh and lactating and giving it away doesn’t qualify you for some wonderful award and tons of ass kissing, especially not after you make unfounded ignorant assumptions about someone else’s child. And even if they are foster children I hate to break it to you but foster care does NOT = Hoodlums in training. Other peoples biological children do stupid shit too.

  35. cakemaven says:

    Jennifer,

    1. I could certainly afford to replace them, however, GMs are not exactly easy to come by. Apparently, you haven’t heard…

    2. I have no problem with piecings and such. I have a tattoo myself. What I do have a problem with are children who steal mail and break in to people’s houses, ragardless of who’s offspring they tend to be. Wondering if the girl was a foster kid was not intended as a criticism; I was simply considering that there may be more to her situation than meets the eye. It’s called giving someone the benefit of the doubt, which I see is more than the courtesy (or lack thereof) that you’ve afforded me.

    3. I don’t want an award or ass-kissing. Instead, I’d love for people to be more giving so the world can be a nicer place. But, alas, there will always be someone to complain even when people try to be nice because they weren’t nice *enough.*

  36. I promise i'm not kim says:

    IME, A $650k home in SanDiego, CA (even inland) isn’t quite what you make it out to be compared with many neighborhoods in the US…infact I;ve never seen a “nice” or well to do neighborhood that had community mailboxes! hmmmm I also thought there were many extra details added to the story that were odd!

  37. The Bored Bitch says:

    *It’s called giving someone the benefit of the doubt, which I see is more than the courtesy (or lack thereof) that you’ve afforded me.*

    No, CM, what you engaged in is called assumption.
    You assumed that it was the renters kid because they did not fit in.
    You ASSumed the child was a foster kid who stole your package.

    There was no benefit of the doubt extended to the renters in this situation.
    You made the ASSumption and ran with it.

    Then you posted your story to the internet and are surprised when people call you on your ASShatery.

    *But, alas, there will always be someone to complain even when people try to be nice because they weren’t nice *enough.**

    When your niceness is cloaked in ASSumption at the expense of a child, nope-its not enough.

  38. What a wanker says:

    You know, I am completely in agreement with the other commenters on this blog regarding Lee, Kim and Peach, but I gotta say, this is ridiculous. Yes, she may be a bit snobbish, you you ladies are not coming off as being any better. You are acting like you are better than CM is and I, for one, am not jumping on this bandwagon. Who the hell IS perfect? She was not mean or nasty to anyone. She wasn’t being cruel. She just told a story in her own words of something that happened. You may think she is snobby, but is that a reason to execute her on this blog? Come on!

    And, no I’m not CM. Look back at the blog on Peach and ones on Kim and you will know that. But I am a little afraid of someone executing someone because the person they actually “thought” may have stolen their package “was” the person who did it. And yes, I realize you have other reasons, but I think the commenters on this post are going way overboard. I’m not sure why, but I for one am not joining in because I believe there are much bigger fish to fry than someone like CM.

    You can’t judge someone for being snobbish if you are being so yourself.

    This is going a bit too far IMHO.

  39. subpariq says:

    Dear Entitled Princess,
    There is nothing nice about assuming the misfits in your pristine neighborhood were responsible for theft. You can try to spin the assumptions that you made any which way you like. Your snobbery is still apparent.
    I would rather suck up the loss of two stinking diapers then go and accuse any neighbor of taking them. Even if the kids were outside. Even if they were renters. Even if their kids didn’t play with my kids. Unless I had solid evidence that one of their children was involved, I wouldn’t feel entitled enough to go knocking.
    And then you hop online expecting accolades and kudos. Your story is not inspiring in the least. Being “giving” starts with the ability to put your own needs and desires second to that of others. You keep talking about wanting the world to be a better place. Some honest self analysis would give you a great opportunity to work on the woman in the mirror before you go all global and try to inspire others.

  40. Wow, this took a turn I wasn’t expecting…

  41. subpariq says:

    What a Wanker
    Nobody is perfect or asking anyone else to be perfect. Pointing out that a family doesn’t “fit in” to your neighborhood and using that as the basis to accuse them of a crime is cruel IMO. And I’ve seen the affect first hand that this kind of snobbery has on children and adults alike.
    She could have said “my bad” or “I hadn’t thought about that.” But she chose to justify it instead. To justify it in a way that reinforced that she is a snob.
    You say there are bigger fish to fry and there always are. But to me someone treating people the way she did is worse than Kim yapping about suing the blog owner or using an alternate name to post.

  42. yestheyareallmine says:

    What a wanker,
    Execute. I don’t think it means what you think it means.

    I’m sorry you feel that opinions that don’t align with the OP are overboard. But I don’t think there is much that can be done about that, short of closing down comments all together.

  43. What a wanker says:

    I’m not here to argue with you. Just stating my opinion and my opinion is I think some commenters are going too far in this instance as I have already stated.

  44. yestheyareallmine says:

    “I’m not here to argue with you. Just stating my opinion and my opinion is I think some commenters are going too far in this instance as I have already stated.”

    You mean too far like insinuating that we are executing someone?

  45. What a wanker says:

    Oh, poop, you caught me! I guess it’s my turn now! go ahead and rip me a new asshole too since that seems to be your “thing”.

  46. The Bored Bitch says:

    Why would YTAAM rip you a new asshole?

    The one you have isnt working so well?

    I dont get it.

  47. subpariq says:

    “Why would YTAAM rip you a new asshole?

    The one you have isnt working so well?

    I dont get it.”

    Working? It sounds like it is taking over her being. Not sure what the difference between the things she has said about Kim or Lee is and the dialog with CM. Seriously WAW. What qualifies you to tell other grown ups who they should and shouldn’t make comments to? What qualifies you to say that Kim deserves comments but CM doesn’t? Just wondering because you seem awful comfy up there on your high horse.

  48. What a wanker says:

    Lots and lots of pots here! Lots of them! Have you met Kettle?

  49. lysol says:

    “You know, I am completely in agreement with the other commenters on this blog regarding Lee, Kim and Peach, but I gotta say, this is ridiculous. Yes, she may be a bit snobbish, you you ladies are not coming off as being any better.”

    Pot and Kettle frolicking in the kitchen? I could care less what bullsh!t the people you mentioned are doing right now. I do however, have a problem with CM’s higher than thou attitude toward the people who don’t “fit in” to her glorious neighborhood. Not to mention the “suspect” foster kid. Excuse the h3ll out of me for being irritated by the hooray for me show, and the completely stupid & selfish comments following (see post #66).

  50. lysol says:

    To add, shame on me for not “fitting in” with the snobby financially wealthy crowd. I must be ZOMG jealous or something!

  51. The Bored Bitch says:

    *Lots and lots of pots here! Lots of them! Have you met Kettle?*

    Says the person who feels justified pointing fingers at some but not others?

    Puhhhleeeeseeee.

  52. Birdie says:

    Yeah, cakemaven did a very nice thing teaching the girl/young woman a lesson in forgiveness. I myself would have called the police. I’m a believer in “tough love” when it comes to stealing and lying.

    But, was the part about the prices of homes where she lives necessary? And her comment on the “rejects” moving in? Brag much? And I think she canceled her “good deed” of forgiveness by judging the family based on appearance. If she doesn’t know them, how does she know they don’t really “fit in”?

    lysol, I am in total agreement with you on this one. cakemaven is a snob and she needs to take a good look at herself in the mirror before casting stones from inside her glass house.

  53. silver says:

    I don’t understand why her judgements about her neighbors are so shocking. WE ALL judge based on appearance because that’s all we can go by until we know a person at a more personal level. It’s call a “first impression” and we (even those of us who think we’re too good to judge people) develop them about every person we meet. I consider myself to be a very kind person and I try to understand where people are coming from before judging them. Regardless, I’m still going to have a first impression of every person I see or meet and it may be completely unfounded; I might think something negative and then reason with myself and decide that my first impression was unfounded. It doesn’t take away my initial judgement. Do those of you who are attacking cakemaven NEVER look at a person and develop a judgement about them? Or do you have nothing but positive fluffy thoughts about every person you meet? I’m certainly not wealthy–I don’t even rent a HOME, I rent an apartment!–and definitely not snobbish. That’s just life, we constantly develop judgements about those we meet and then “update” our ideas of each person as we get to know them and have more than sole appearance to develop our impressions on.

    Can all of you say that if something was stolen from your front porch, there is no possible way that a “suspect” might come to mind based on the people you bump into from day to day and their behavior, appearance, demeanor, etc? And for those who say that a wealthy person was JUST as likely to steal it as a poor person, that’s not true. Statistics show that areas of poverty are prone to crime and the vast majority of criminals live in these areas or conditions. My family is VERY blue collar/working class (paycheck to paycheck) and I grew up in poverty so I’m not being uppity. These are just the facts. OF COURSE there are dishonest wealthy people and many, many honest working class/lower class people (like myself and most of the other lower income people I know), but it’s natural to develop impressions based on generalizations.

    Just putting another perspective out there.

  54. silver says:

    I guess this is an old conversation 🙂

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