http://www.diaperswappers.com/forum/showthread.php?t=327496

So, I ran across a nice little discussion about buying diapers you can’t afford.  It’s a pretty good read. No one admitted pushing their family into financial disaster for a poop catcher, but there were still interesting responses. I especially found it interesting when abcdeasons responded:

abcdeasons

This attitude of “I would never” just bugs me. It hurts me that those who spend the most $$ on expensive diapers, the ones with the giganto stashes, are often the first to judge those who go into debt doing the very same thing! Ok, it’s wonderful that your family has the money to spend on expensive diapers. You don’t need to justify your spending to us. You also don’t need to examine the financial lives of people you don’t even know personally! Can you blame them for wanting what you have? Or even for wanting more?

My guess is, these women that drive their family into debt with diapers, they already know what they are doing wrong. Calling them out publicly is not going to help them anymore than calling me “fatty” is going to help me lose weight. Perhaps a private message to them saying, “hey, I know you’re trying to quit spending so much on diapers, just wanted to say that I support the decision that you’ve made.” And, hey, this thread was started in response to a “wagon riders” post, right? How about being supportive of those who are “on the wagon” instead?

[soapbox] over. Sorry. I don’t normally get riled up.

First of all, there really was no judging on the thread.  But, if someone is spending their rent, bill, or grocery money on a Goodmama, something’s wrong.  And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that. That’s not judging, that’s logic.

 Shabbychic

uh? 10 nice pages of discussion. Wagon riding? What? And my logic isn’t flawed and your rant will make me state it again. There is absolutely no catastrophic event that would affect anything material I own. None. I didn’t call anyone out and this was quite pleasant IMO until you jumped onto the defensive. I guess I hit a sore spot?

Good for you! (You probably did hit a sore spot…)

mammaofbean

huh? diaper buying guilt? why? when i was dropping $90 per month on sposies and wipes i never once stood in the store and questioned my purchase (maybe i should just wrap the babe in paper towels . . . ), and i would have punched someone in the teeth if they had accused me of living outside of my means for buying them. and yeah, we were broke as folk.

i really feel like some people are taking mommy guilt and judgement to another level here.

Where did this come from? Who’s guilting anyone? If someone feels guilty for buying $90 in cloth diapers a month, maybe they should stop doing it.  That would be one hell of a stash.

 

Spirit Elf [in response to mammaofbean]

I feel like this too. And these kind of questions always make posters feel like they have to divulge so much of their financial situation as if they need to justify their purchases. Same as the “how do you justify a 35$ diaper” threads. As if people need to explain to others how/why they purchase good quality cloth as opposed to cheap cloth or sposies.

No one has to divulge any information.  Don’t want to tell people your income and expenses, don’t.  I for one think there’s way too much divulging on this site.  You don’t owe anyone anything, so think about it before you start putting your income, tax refund, monthly expenses, etc. out on the internet.  Especially on public forums that have tens of thousands of watchers.

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Comments
  1. Annie's Friend says:

    I think its *odd* to discuss purchases in a boasting manner period. When I first started diapering, I read the forums for reviews and tips/tricks. Now its all a Anti-Consumerists’ nightmare. “Look at all my STUFF!” More, more, more. The “one-up-manship” is driving some of these mothers to make purchases outside of their means. Sad. Really sad.

  2. DS Drama Mama says:

    I agree with you. Diaper Chatter has become a “look what I got,” “look what I’m trying to get” place and most things that have been asked before that might be useful, get swept away, or harshly criticized. It’s sad.

  3. DS Drama Mama 2 says:

    It really is odd the turn it has taken, isn’t it? Using cloth used to be about minimizing waste, saving the environment and money….

    Not anymore… it is more of a I’m better than you b/c of my stash now…

    Good Thoughts Annie’s Friend!

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